


Proud of Your Boy

by seeleyboothfan



Category: Glee
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Dom/sub, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Only mentions of Kurt and OMC - nothing actually seen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:33:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 52,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3278624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seeleyboothfan/pseuds/seeleyboothfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine has been having panic attacks and he's been feeling very lost since he's come to New York. Kurt is his best friend, but he's also a Dom who's sensing that Blaine might be a sub who hasn't quite realized that yet and he's struggling to figure out how best to help Blaine. Will they be able to come together and help each other, or will something keep them apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally going to be called "No Sir, Not While I'm Around" but it never felt quite right, so when I was listening to random Darren clips and stumbled back across his acoustic version of "Proud of Your Boy", I knew I had the perfect title.

  **2015**

_His favorite position would seem uncomfortable to others. He would drop to his stomach on their living room carpet, face resting on his left cheek, eyes trained on the blank white wall ahead of his vision. He'd twist his arms around his back and clasp his opposite wrists in his palms, letting them fall onto his lower back. His legs, he'd stretch out at hip width apart, pointing his toes so that his calves could just start to feel the burn. He'd dig his cheek deeper into the carpet so that he could feel the individual tufts catch and pull at his skin. He'd force his breaths to pull from his stomach and not his chest so that his body was pressing up against his arms, constricting it and making him very aware of each one._

_Despite all this, he'd be relaxed, far more than he'd be in bed or on the couch. In this position, all he could focus on was his body – not his worries or fears or anything else that brought up the panic he was so desperate to be rid of._

_Kurt had chosen this position for Blaine not only for relaxation, but also because it forced him to be aware. It was much too easy to drift away if he lost focus._

* * *

  **2014**

Several months ago, Blaine had gone a whole day without leaving his bed – not even to eat or use the bathroom. He'd lost himself drifting in an open void of numbness. He'd not even slept – he was conscious, but he wasn't present. Kurt had called it 'subspace', something Blaine had never heard of before. Normally, subspace was a safe place to be if you had a Dom to anchor you, but Blaine had been alone.

Kurt had been the one to find him the next day. He'd been concerned when he hadn't seen Blaine at class the previous evening and had been that worried Blaine had fallen ill. Kurt later told Blaine that it had taken him close to an hour to pull him back from the void. He'd wanted to make sure he did it properly – he had an experience with rousing someone from subspace that had ended poorly. The poor boy had been brought back to consciousness much too quickly. He was still too far gone to recognize Kurt and he'd screamed, jumping up and nearly breaking his leg where it buckled underneath him due to the lack of use.

"Blaine, you with me?"

It took several seconds for Blaine's eyes to focus on the face in front of him. "Kurt?" Blaine's voice was barely a rasp. His throat had completely dried out and his tongue was thick with dehydration.

Kurt gave him a small smile and nodded. He helped Blaine sit up and offered him a few sips from a glass of water with a bright green bendy straw. Blaine moaned gratefully as he swallowed the water, whining when Kurt pulled it away. "A few sips at a time," Kurt explained, holding up his other hand which held a plate with slices of apples, cheese, bread, even some chocolate. "I wasn't sure what you'd like," Kurt said with a shy smile.

Blaine's stomach gurgled in response and his cheeks colored when Kurt's smile grew. "I've always liked apples," Blaine offered. Before he could even think to reach out and grab a piece for himself, Kurt was scooping up a slice and holding it in front of his mouth. Blaine was too hungry to be embarrassed at being fed like a child. Once Blaine was finished chewing, Kurt brought the glass of water back over to Blaine's mouth so that he could take a couple more sips. He helped feed Blaine the rest of the apple slices, making sure he also had more water in between, all the while watching him with an expression Blaine could only describe as caring.

Once the water and apples were done, Kurt set the plate and glass aside, getting up from the kneeling position he'd been in and joining him on the bed. He set a hand lightly on Blaine's knee, studying him as if he were unsure how Blaine would accept the gesture. "How are you feeling?"

Blaine, whose eyes had been focused on Kurt's hand since it had been placed on his knee, raised his gaze to meet Kurt's. "As if I'm Rip Van Winkle."

Kurt laughed. "Fairly appropriate analogy; I don't think you've left this bed all day… maybe longer."

"It must have been the flu. Odd that I haven't thrown up."

Kurt's expression was an odd one, as if Blaine were a small child that he was going to have to tell that Santa wasn't real. "Blaine, I really don't think that you were ill."

Blaine's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Then why-"

"Blaine, we've talked about what I do in my private life, you remember?"

Blaine nodded, mind flashing through memories of various conversations he'd had with Kurt about him being a Dominant and what sort of things that meant. "You're a Dom…but what does that have to do with me?"

Kurt sighed and the hand on his knee squeezed slightly. "I'm fairly certain you brought yourself in a subspace."

Blaine knew he must look terribly confused.

"It's a state of being for some subs, a level of unawareness where they are focused solely on that feeling of calmness and peace. I've been told it can feel like floating."

"Why…" Blaine trailed off, feeling his heart start beating erratically for a reason he couldn't define. "I'm not-"

Kurt turned Blaine slightly so that they were facing each other. "You're not like me? Into the scene?" Kurt questioned, a soft smile on his face. "I know."

"Then why would you say-"

"Because I think you're wading through the outskirts of it. Your body is doing things that your mind isn't ready to understand. You haven't officially chosen to be a sub, but your body is trying to tell you that you may need to, that something's going on in your life and in your body and mind that's making it difficult to navigate without someone there to guide you… a Dom."

Blaine felt his breathing and heartbeat pick up speed as the telltale signs of a panic attack reared its ugly head.

Kurt was quick to notice and a sympathetic smile rose to his face. "Oh, Blaine…"

Even the soft voice doesn't help calm his nerves. Was Blaine a sub? He'd been trapped in an altered state of mind where he'd been lost to the world for a whole day? What did that mean for the rest of his life? Was he going to have to venture to one of  _those_  clubs and find a Dom? Would he started needing to be tired up and punished? Blaine's body broke out in a cold sweat. The attack he'd gone through the night of the Sadie Hawkins dance had been horrific; his knee cap still twinged whenever it was going to rain and the plate in his arm made the metal detector at the airport a nightmare. Why would anyone find another person hitting them a turn on?

Blaine shuddered at the phantom feeling of hands beating him. His heartbeat was racing and his lungs no longer allowed him to pull in more than a gulp of air. His vision went black around the edges. If he had been standing, his knees surely would have buckled underneath him.

Kurt's expression quickly turned worried. "Blaine, you need to focus on me." His voice sounded like it was coming from a long distance away.

Blaine struggled to make his eyes focus, but he couldn't seem to do more than blink owlishly at Kurt, the rush of blood pounding loud enough to drown out everything else.

"Blaine, you need to listen to my voice. Push through the panic. You need to focus on my voice…only my voice. Breathe. Please, you have to breathe for me, Blaine."

He could still feel those hands against his skin, their harsh words echoing in his head, the unforgiving rain pelting down on his already frozen skin.

Kurt's face swam in and out of his vision. His hands were rubbing Blaine's softly, his voice calm. "Blaine, you need to focus on my voice.

It took several moments, but gradually the panic dissipated and he was left with the soothing sound of Kurt's slow breaths and the steady brush of his fingers against his knuckles.

"There you go… in and out," he encouraged, a proud smile on his face. "You're doing so well."

Things were still foggy and Kurt's face was blurry in between long blinks. As Blaine focused on breathing slowly and pushing the memories away, Kurt continued smoothing his hands up and down the backs of Blaine's hands. When Blaine was feeling much calmer, he sat himself up straighter and looked down at Kurt.

"There you are," Kurt said with a proud smile. "I knew you'd come back to me."

A sudden heat pooled in Blaine's belly, a pleased response to the hint of possession in Kurt's words. Kurt had been on Blaine's radar since they'd met in 2006 on a class trip to New York. He'd sat next to him on the plane and had been instantly smitten with Kurt's breathtaking good looks and his confident presence. He'd fumbled his way through a conversation, managing to snag his phone number (Blaine's still not quite sure how he managed that) and their friendship had grown from there. Kurt was the awesome older, insanely hot gay man who introduced Blaine to the New York social circles he ran in and checked in to make sure Blaine succeeded in his first year in the new city. He'd helped Blaine shop for his first apartment and toured his college campus the week before classes started so that he knew exactly where all his classes were located.

He'd introduced Blaine to the man who'd become Blaine's first real boyfriend (even though Blaine really only had eyes for Kurt who was tragically already taken). Through all the trials and tribulations, Kurt had been there for Blaine and he'd come to rely on that. It was only after a night of heavy drinking and a game of "Never Have I Ever" that Blaine found out about Kurt being a Dom.

Kurt wasn't embarrassed nor proud of the fact; he'd treated it as if it were a natural part of human life. He'd been open with information even though Blaine was too nervous to ask much.

Blaine had been insanely attracted to Kurt pretty much since they'd met and the attraction grew when they ended up moving in together, but Kurt had been nothing more than a good friend to him. Plus, once Blaine learned about Kurt's private life, he had no idea how any sort of relationship could form between them.

Kurt never brought up claiming or contracts or anything of the sort… he'd kept mum on a lot of the details of his life as a Dom and Blaine's never thought to ask, having never thought he'd be joining him in the world. Plus, it seemed like a very private thing, so Blaine never wanted to push.

As Kurt continued to observe Blaine with a soft smile, Blaine let his mind wander back over the last few years. He'd been having panic attacks more and more often since moving to New York and if he really thought about it, he'd realize they all revolved around moments where he'd been forced to make a decision. It didn't even matter the size or nature of the decision – some level of panic would overtake his body.

The ease with which Kurt had been able to calm his nerves with this most recent panic attack… maybe Kurt was right about what Blaine needed. If what Kurt had done was part of being a Dom, he was exactly who Blaine needed to be with, but he'd never thought to ask if Kurt already had a sub. If he didn't, would Kurt ever consider him a candidate for a sub and what that all would entail for himself; would he get a collar? Would he be expected to kneel at Kurt's feet and crawl on his hands and knees everywhere? Would he be punished if he ever disobeyed Kurt?

Maybe first, Blaine should consider if Kurt would ever been interested in a relationship. They'd been fast friends since Blaine moved to New York permanently, but they'd never once tried to become more than that. Part of it could be that Kurt had already been neck deep in the scene when Blaine met him and Blaine was so obviously…not. Or, much, much worse – Kurt just wasn't attracted to him. Or maybe Kurt was attracted, but wouldn't pursue a relationship because Blaine could never really understand that side of him. What, too, if Kurt would be willing to be his Dom but not his boyfriend… was that even a possibility?

All of these worries and wonderings were zooming through his head in the few seconds after the panic attack had ended, Kurt's eyes staring straight into Blaine's, the gentlest smile on his face. "I can see the wheels turning – what are you so worried about, Darling Boy?" If Kurt had noticed that the endearment had slipped out, he didn't show it.

Blaine felt his brain turn to mush. "I want that… to  _be_ that," he clarified.

"Be what?" Kurt asked, stroking a hand through Blaine's curls. Kurt had never been this physical with Blaine before. It gave Blaine hope that things might work out and it gave him the courage to respond.

"Your Boy," Blaine admitted, dropping his eyes and blushing. "If that's okay with you," continued, second guessing his request, but he'd said it and there was nothing he could do to take it back.

Kurt sighed. Blaine looked back up at him and his heart broke at the devastated expression on Kurt's face. "Oh, Blaine… I wish I'd known." Kurt frowned.

_Oh God, Kurt's rejecting me. How could I have been such a fool?_

"You'd never… I'm already committed to someone else. Other Doms take multiple subs, but that's never been me." Kurt stroked a finger down Blaine's cheek.

Blaine dropped his head, too embarrassed to meet his gaze.

"I wish…" he trailed off. "I know we could have been good for each other, if only…" Kurt hesitated.

Blaine raised his gaze.  _Kurt thinks we'll be good together?_

"God, you have no idea how tempting an offer this is." Kurt stroked a thumb over Blaine's lower lip, breath catching when Blaine unconsciously kissed it. "You have no idea," he repeated. Kurt huffed, a look of frustration crossing his features. "I wish I had known before I made a contract with Simon."

* * *

**Oh no, who is Simon? What is Blaine going to do if Kurt won't be his Dom?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you'll stick with me on this story. I've been writing it for months, but the theme never quite gelled and there have been many different versions of this story before I finally found what I think is the right fit. The only thing I can't figure out is how sexual I want their relationship to be. I originally had this as a fully sexual story - where sex is very much a part of their relationship, but then it started changing into "they're having sex, but it's a part of their relationship outside the story/bond" to both of them being asexual and sex isn't ever brought into the story, to only Blaine being asexual while Kurt is still very much a sexual person and them dealing with that.
> 
> I'd like your opinion on where you'd like to see this story going. Right now I'm working on editing the second and third chapters, but I just can't quite conclude what sort of relationship I want them to have. I have a working idea of how it should be, but there are so many versions of these chapters which I think are all quite good, but I need one cohesive plan to make the rest of the story work. Any prompts/opinions would be appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Newfiegirl, Smokeyroxy, Klaine mama, voyagehk, and DustyQOTF for your recommendations – it's really helped shaped where I want this story to go. I have a much better picture in my head and the story is flowing much more smoothly now.

** 2010 **

When Kurt returned to the apartment, it was late at night, long after Blaine’s date was supposed to have ended. He was surprised to find Blaine curled up on the couch, drowning his tears into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt asked, quickly dropping his coat onto the nearest chair and joining him on the couch.

Blaine’s lower lip pouted even more as he swallowed his bite of Chunky Monkey. “I just ruined everything,” he whined, sniffling pathetically.

Kurt smiled sympathetically. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Blaine wiped his nose on a wadded up Kleenex and set his ice cream tub onto the coffee table. “I had another date with Jason tonight.”

Kurt nodded, remembering how excited Blaine had been earlier in the day.

“Well, we came back here and he kissed me and I didn’t feel anything!” Blaine’s voice had risen until he was almost shouting. Tears pricked his vision. “We just kept kissing and there was nothing there and then he bit my lip and I was really uncomfortable, so I sort of pushed him away.” Blaine’s mouth twisted into a grimace. Kurt was reminded of a small child who was rambling in anger and frustration. It wasn’t often that Blaine acted more like his young age of 19.  “He asked what was wrong with me and when I told him, he got so offended. He told me to fuck off and stormed out.” Blaine sighed, tears tracking down his face. “Why am I so weird? Why is kissing so uncomfortable for me?”

Kurt frowned. “You’re not weird, Blaine. Everyone has different likes and dislikes.”

“Do _you_ know anyone who dislikes kissing?” Blaine questioned, eyebrow raised.

“No, but-”

“See? That means there’s something wrong with me!”

“Blaine, you need to cool it with the childish attitude; I’m only trying to help.”

Blaine’s cheeks colored. “I’m sorry.”

“What I was going to say was that I don’t know anyone _personally_ , but there are people in the world who aren’t interested in acts of physical affection like kissing, cuddling, or even sex. Have you thought about if you might be asexual?”

Blaine’s expression turned bashful. “I did once, but I…” Blaine dropped his gaze to the floor. “I enjoy jacking off, so I can’t be…”

It wasn’t often that Kurt felt their age difference, but this was one of those times. He felt his heart twist at the embarrassment on Blaine’s face. The poor boy needed someone to teach him the ways of the world. “Oh, Blaine. The world isn’t as black and white as they want you to think it is. The spectrum is so vast and varied that one label couldn’t possibly fit the complexity of a human being. Maybe you’re comfortable with your sexuality on your own, but being that vulnerable with someone else is more terrifying? Also, erogenous areas are not the same for everyone, so it’s quite possible that kissing isn’t going to be something as enjoyable to you as, say, a hand job might be. Oh my god, this one guy started sucking on my toes and it was the most uncomfortable feeling in the world.”

“Why was he sucking on your toes?” Blaine asked, amusement making his eyes sparkle.

“Don’t even ask; I’m still traumatized.” Kurt shook his head, smiling at Blaine. “Maybe Jason’s a crap kisser and that’s why it sucked.”

Blaine returned his smile. “I like how easily you were able to say ‘ _hand job’_.” The last two words were said in a whisper.

“When you get to be my age, hand jobs are pretty vanilla.”

Blaine snorted. “You’re not that much older than me. I doubt I’ll be doing anything as crazy as sucking someone’s toes in eight years.”

Kurt chuckled, his smile dropping into a more serene one as he reached out and ruffled Blaine’s hair. “Definitely not the toe thing, but everything else? You never know what you’ll want to do, especially if you meet the right person.”

“Maybe I have,” Blaine hedged, looking up at Kurt shyly, tips of his ears going red.

“Oh yeah? You’ll have to tell me about him sometime.” Kurt stood up and started gathering his coat and wallet and heading toward the kitchen. “Now, I’m going to go make us some tiramisu with real rum.” He peeked back around the corner and pointed at him. “Don’t go turning me into the cops for giving alcohol to a minor, you hear me?”

Blaine, looking hurt for a reason Kurt didn’t understand, nodded.

* * *

  **2014**

Kurt's expression was full of regret. "If circumstances were different, I wouldn't even hesitate."

Blaine's lower lip turned down in a pout. "Can't you make an exception this one time?" He placed his hands on Kurt's, feeling the muscles twitch as they shifted beneath him.

Kurt's hands, seemingly with a will of their own, entangled with Blaine's. "I'd have to change everything about my views and lifestyle. I don't know if I…" Kurt groaned. "You're making this so hard when you look at me with those eyes."

"Then why don't you-"

"Because I already have a sub," Kurt explained, a bit of anger seeping into his voice.

"But…" It wasn't until Kurt stated it so plainly that Blaine started to think about what it all really meant. Oh God, so that guy he'd seen hanging around with Kurt was his sub? How could Blaine have been so stupid? Blaine could feel his heart drop into his stomach, like everything was spiraling out of control. With the mess of emotions he was having after the day he'd lost to  _subspace_ and all the things Kurt was forcing him to think about now, he wasn't certain which way was up. He couldn't lose Kurt when he was the only thing keeping him from sinking.

With panic starting to take over, he gave himself over to the urges swirling around in his muddled brain. He dropped to his knees on the carpet in front of Kurt, his body moving on its own. His hands reached out and gripped Kurt's upper thighs. "Please…" he whined, pulling Kurt's legs apart as best he could so that he could scoot closer to him. "I'll be so good for you. I promise." Almost against his will, Blaine's face fell forward into Kurt's lap and he nuzzled into his right thigh. Blaine had no idea what he was doing, only that he felt better the closer he was to Kurt.

Kurt's hands automatically went to his hair. His fingers clenched tightly when Blaine pressed a firm kiss high on Kurt's inseam. He bit off a groan, fists alternately clenching and loosening as he seemed to fight his urges. "Blaine, I can't-"

Blaine had never felt this way before. He was fairly limited with his physical experience in relationships: a few kisses exchanged with a couple boys in High School that were frankly quite unenjoyable and, to be honest, had turned him off to relationships almost completely. Right now, kneeling at Kurt's feet, feeling Kurt's cock twitching in his pants, his hands entangled in Blaine's curls, he was burning with the need to pleasure Kurt in whatever way he wanted.

The warring of these sudden, intense urges with his previous aversion to sex was messing with his mind. "You know you need this as much as I do," Blaine whispered, shaking hands rubbing up higher on his legs, stopping just short of where Kurt was continuing to harden. "Don't make me go through this alone," he begged. "I don't..." he whined again, fighting back the urge to just yank down Kurt's zipper and grip his cock in his fist. "I'm having all these thoughts and  _wants_ … please help me. Please tell me what to do." Blaine buried his face into Kurt's lap, suddenly overcome with tears. "I don't… I'm so lost."

"Oh, my poor, sweet, Darling Boy," Kurt responded, resuming his soft stroking in Blaine's curls. "Please don't cry. I can't bear it." He bent forward and pressed a soft kiss to his crown. "I wish there was some way that I could help you, but I just can't."

Blaine whimpered pathetically, pressing his face harder into Kurt's thigh, cutting off the oxygen flow to his nostrils and mouth. "Please," he begged again, words muffled by the denim.

Kurt took a deep, shaky breath, fingers pressing in tighter to Blaine's hair before relaxing once more. "Maybe I could just… Can you look at me, Beautiful?"

Blaine sniffled and obediently raised his gaze.

"Good boy," Kurt said with a smile. "I want you to do something for me." Blaine waited with bated breath. "I need you to go to the bathroom and start a bath."

When Blaine immediately went to stand, Kurt let out a breathless laugh. "So eager…before we go any further, I need to make sure you understand something; I'm not making any decisions about us right now. I'm not going to start or end things without really giving it time to make the right decision. For right now, I'm going to take care of you while you figure this all out. I'll be your Dom on a temporary basis so that your needs can be met in a safe environment. Once you're more settled in this and once I determine the next best step for each of us, we'll talk about this again."

Blaine nodded, but he really wasn't focusing on any of the words Kurt had said other than him agreeing to be his Dom for the time being. He could already feel calm start to overtake him, knowing the person he considered his best friend and whom he loved dearly would be taking care of him.

"Now that we're agreed on that, I want you to clear your mind. Focus only on the task, okay?"

Blaine nodded, standing slowly and backing out of the room, wanting to see the approval in Kurt's eyes for a long as possible.

Blaine's body felt lighter than it ever had before, feeling happy knowing that he had a purpose for the first time in a long while. He was carefree, more so than ever before as he placed the plug in the bottom of the tub and turned the hot water tap.

After a few moments, Blaine felt eyes upon him. He looked up to see Kurt standing in the doorway, a soft, proud smile on his face. "You should add some bath salts," Kurt prompted.

Blaine looked over to the row of balms and salts and felt his lungs clench up painfully. There were so many options; which one would Kurt want him to use? Blaine's eyes flicked back and forth between the tubs and balls and bags, feeling a mild panic set in. He was going to pick the wrong one and Kurt was going to be disappointed. He was going to take back his offer to be Blaine's Dom because he'd failed him in this first task.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, standing up from where he'd been leaning on the jamb, a touch of concern in his voice. "Did you not hear what I said?"

His body broke out in a cold sweat and he blinked back the sudden tears in his eyes. He attempted to respond, but his mouth was too dry and his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. "I did," Blaine rasped, clearing his throat roughly. He pulled a few large breaths into his lungs, trying to swallow back the bile in his throat, nausea roiling in his stomach. "Do you…" Blaine licked his lips and blinked up at Kurt. "What kind should I use?" Blaine needed Kurt to give him an order. Making the decision himself was not an option right now, not with the panic so rampant in his body.

Kurt narrowed his eyes, looking Blaine up and down, seeming to see past Blaine's walls and see the panic. "Blaine, you…" Kurt bit his lip and took a few seconds to let his gaze consider the line of toiletries before looking back at Blaine. "Lavender. One full scoop."

Blaine nodded, eternally grateful for the command. He hurried over to the counter and carefully grabbed the tub of lavender bath salts. He looked up at Kurt, waiting for his nod of approval before scooping some out and spreading it in the tub. He twisted the top closed and set it back on the counter. He turned to face Kurt again, hands clasped behind him, rocking slightly on his feet.

"Perfect." Blaine could feel himself beam at the praise. Kurt considered him for a few seconds, seeming to debate with himself before coming to a decision. "I want you to undress… slowly. You're going to fold them for me."

Blaine took a few more breaths, letting the feeling of  _rightness_  wash over him before he brought his hands to his shirt and unbuttoned it.

Kurt's eyes followed Blaine's fingers, darkening as more of Blaine's skin was revealed. Blaine carefully removed his shirt from his arms and folded it before setting it on top of the lowered toilet seat. His hands dropped to his belt, trembling slightly. He'd never been naked in front of Kurt… he'd never had a reason to. Kurt was gorgeous. He'd walked in on Kurt in the shower once and he'd nearly choked on his tongue. Being eight years his senior, Kurt was fully grown into his body; everything worked in his favor. Blaine, on the other hand, still felt out of place in his body. He knew he still had a lot of work cut out for him.

What if Kurt didn't like Blaine's body? What if it disgusted him? Blaine couldn't handle it if Kurt found him disappointing. He jumped when he felt Kurt's hands rest over his own.

"Eyes on me," Kurt commanded softly. "There's no need for this worry, Darling Boy." Kurt bent his head so that he could meet Blaine's eyes. "All you need to do is focus on the task, nothing more. I'm here and I'm going to take care of everything else."

"But-"

Kurt shook his head. "There is a time and place for questions and worries. Right now, all you need to do is listen and obey." Kurt cupped his face in his hands. "You were doing so well, Beautiful. Can you do what I say one more time?"

Blaine bit his lip, searching Kurt's gaze for … something. He didn't know quite what for. "Yes, Sir," Blaine finally responded, feeling his heart beat faster at the slight widening of Kurt's eyes and the short gasp of breath.

"That's My Boy," Kurt whispered back. "Continue undressing for me."

Blaine didn't hesitate this time around. Without a tremble, he undid his belt and pushed his trousers down his legs. He folded them and placed them on top of his shirt. He pulled off his socks, finally meeting Kurt's gaze once more.

Kurt was smiling that soft, proud smile again, looking up and down Blaine's nearly naked body with barely restrained hunger. Blaine's cock twitched painfully in his briefs, but it was barely on Blaine's radar. Right now, sex was the farthest thing from Blaine's mind. The need to be submissive for Kurt was much more important. He brought his hands to the band of his briefs and pulled those down, carefully pulling it over the raised head of his cock and finally down his legs.

His big toe caught in one of the leg holes and he tripped, barely catching himself on the counter, jamming his knee in a cupboard handle. Blaine hissed in pain, dropping the underwear to the floor so he could grab his throbbing knee. After a few seconds of sharp pain and tears pricking his vision, he picked his briefs up and folded them quickly, placing them on the piles of clothing from earlier.

He looked up at Kurt, awaiting his next order. Instead of seeing Kurt's eyes upon his own, Kurt was squatting down, reaching out his hands toward Blaine's sore knee. Blaine looked at it as well, shocked to see some skin ripped off and blood bubbling up and trailing down his leg. "Oh," he breathed. "That's not good."

Kurt snorted, cupping his knee in his palms and examining it closer. "No, it's not. Doesn't look like it needs stitches, though." Kurt looked up at Blaine from where he was still squatting between his legs. "Grab you first aid kit?" he said, lilting up the end so that it was a request more than an order.

Blaine was still eager to obey, shuffling over to the medicine cabinet and grabbing the small bag, returning it quickly to Kurt.

"Good Boy," Kurt praised, taking the kit from Blaine and pulling out the necessary items. He set Blaine's perfectly folded clothes aside and pushed Blaine into a seating position on the toilet. He made quick work of cleaning the wound out and patching it up. "You were being so good for me, Beautiful. You did what I asked, even when you were in pain." He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against the bandaged knee. "I don't expect complete obedience when my subs are injured," Kurt admitted, blinking up at Blaine, "even if witnessing it is one of the hottest things I've ever seen." Kurt stroked his hands up the inside of Blaine's thighs, stopping just short of his groin. "You'd torn your skin nearly off and yet your only thought was to please me." Kurt trailed a single finger up the inside of Blaine's thigh, stopping just short of his balls. "Tapping into your submission is going to be so delicious." He finally looked back up at Blaine, his pupils so dilated with lust that the ring of blue was nearly gone. "There's so much I want to do to you."

Blaine whimpered, unsure what exactly Kurt was imagining, but certain that he'd never tell Kurt no.

"We're going to need to discuss a basic contract and safe words soon. Even if this is temporary, I want us both to feel comfortable and safe. I don't want to start anything with you this susceptible. You're going to fall much too far and much too quickly without the proper guidance." Kurt finally stood up, dusting off his pants a few times. "Stay here a moment, Beautiful. I need to go grab something; I'll be right back."

Blaine nodded in acknowledgement, clasping his hands behind his body, dropping his head slightly as he listened to Kurt glide across their apartment to what Blaine believed was the kitchen. As he waited for Kurt to return, Blaine let his mind wander, not really stopping on any thoughts for too long.

Vaguely, he realized he was still stark naked, his cock still half hard, even if he'd done nothing to keep it that way. He glanced down at himself, taking in the dusting of black hair along his pecs and across his arms and legs, the area around his cock a trimmed patch. From the little of Kurt he'd seen, he knew Kurt was mostly smooth skin, the little hair he had a light brown. He hoped Kurt was okay with the amount of hair Blaine had. He'd tried waxing once and the level of pain was traumatic enough to never do it again.

Deciding that there was nothing he could do about it now, he let his mind wander again, a random melody of a partially written song echoing in his mind. Blaine's ears perked up when he heard a few cupboards open and close before he heard Kurt's cry of triumph.

Blaine raised his head when Kurt reentered the bathroom, a box of cling wrap in his grasp. Confused, but choosing not to question it, he watched in silence as Kurt unwrapped a strip that was a few feet long. "I still want you to take a bath." He knelt back down and wrapped it around his knee, making sure it was tight enough that water couldn't leak through. "You did so good pulling it that I want to reward you for it."

He urged Blaine into the tub and Blaine settled into it gratefully. The water was warm and almost immediately, he could feel the bath salts take effect, his skin taking on a silkiness, the scent of lavender filling his nostrils and calming him. The tub was one of Blaine's favorite places in their apartment. Kurt had searched painstakingly for the perfect one and it didn't disappoint.

It was deep enough that you could completely submerge yourself with little effort but also long enough that you could rest your legs flat. Kurt had splurged on a machine that kept the water warm for the entirety of the bath, so you could soak for as long as you pleased.

Blaine let himself relax for a few moments before he noticed movement out of the corner of his eyes. Kurt brought his hands to his collar. Blaine swallowed deeply, letting his eyes take in all the newly revealed skin. Kurt kept his eyes on Blaine the entire time he undressed, almost as if he was looking for a reaction.

Blaine had seen Kurt in varying states of undress throughout their friendship. They had crossed paths outside the bathroom once, Kurt with only a towel slung around his hips, the rest of him damp from the shower. Laundry day, he'd seen Kurt moving around the apartment in only a tight pair of briefs. None of those times compared to the day he'd awoken in the middle of the night to an odd sound from Kurt's room. He'd peeked in, his eyes going as wide as saucers at the image of Kurt balls-deep in a boy who was gagged and bound to the bed.

He'd squawked in fright, stumbling out of the room as quick as he could. Kurt had come to find him later, thankfully completely dressed and surprisingly not looking flustered.

He'd explained briefly about the D/s scene and what it meant for him and Blaine. He'd explained that he'd kept mum on it because his sub valued anonymity, needing dominance without broadcasting it to family and friends, especially since he'd been wanting to play around with bondage the last few times they'd done a scene.

He'd laughed lightly when Blaine asked if he had a secret torture chamber.

"No, Blaine. You really watch too much TV. It's all rather normal. Neither he nor I are into Pain Play… others are, but not me. Our Commitment is about taking care of each other more than a Master/Slave aspect. I take great value in my and Simon's skin and its upkeep. Marring it defeats the purpose."

"Do we need a signal for when you're…" Blaine trailed off, gesturing awkwardly at Kurt.

Kurt just tilted his head, confused.

"You know, like, a sock on the door if you have him over?" Blaine felt a flush fill his face.

Kurt smiled. "We don't normally come here. He prefers we do our scenes at his house. Tonight was… he was having a bad night."

Before that day, Blaine had been curious about what people go out of a D/s relationship. He'd heard and read a multitude of stories and he'd been turned off by the bondage and punishments and other worse things people seemed to do. Seeing that poor boy lashed down to Kurt's bed had been a final piece in Blaine's determining that it would ever be something for him (even if he did get hard as he read about the enjoyment other people got out of it).

Blaine was pulled from his remembering by the soft sound of Kurt's shirt hitting the bathroom tile. He let his eyes take in all the newly bared skin with relish, the water in the tub sloshing slightly when Blaine's body shifted, trying to settle when it became suddenly excited.

Kurt smirked, eyes zeroing in on Blaine's renewed erection, his fingers dropping to his trousers and making quick work of removing them as well.

When he was fully naked, Kurt nodded his head towards Blaine, a silent request for him to shift forward. Kurt slid in behind him, 'woahing' when the water level of the tub rose dangerously high, nearly cascading over the edge.

Blaine giggled, laughing aloud when Kurt smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

"I haven't shared a bath in a while," Kurt whined. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist and squeezed lightly. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Blaine's right shoulder. "What say we ignore the near disaster and just enjoy this?"

Blaine nodded silently, settling his hands over Kurt's.

* * *

 

**I had no idea I could get out another chapter this quickly - it's thanks to all the lovely people who followed, favorited, and reviewed. It's so wonderful knowing people are actually consuming and enjoying something you've spent a lot of time working on and it makes me want to write even more. I've taken all the recommendations to heart and I hope you'll all like where this story is headed. I'll be adding more back story in each chapter so you can come to know just how things came to be.**

**Thank you again for joining me in this story. Enjoy the ride!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We jump back into the past to see how Kurt and Blaine first met.

**2006**

Kurt grimaced as yet another family with a baby boarded the plane. It was going to be a  _long_  flight. He shifted in his seat, his knees already starting to ache from having to fold his long legs into the cramped space between his seat and the one in front of him. This was not the way he wanted to start the next part of his life. He couldn't wait to get some vodka from the stewardess to numb it all away.

He sighed and flicked through his copy of Sky Mall. After a few pages of completely useless products and gimmicks, Kurt was pulled from his perusing by a small voice. "Excuse me."

Kurt looked up, blinking in surprise when he saw who it was. A young boy, he couldn't be more than 16, stood at the end of his aisle, nervously clutching his suitcase in his hands. He wore a green and grey plaid shirt, a cream cardigan, and a cheery pink bowtie. "Would you be able to help me?" He held up his bag and pointed to the overhead compartment.

Where he'd normally grimace and make a big show of how much he was being put out, he instead closed the magazine and nodded with a bright smile. As he stood up and side-stepped to the aisle, he watched as the boy's face lit up with a returned grin.

"Thank you so much!"

"It's really no problem," Kurt responded, holding out his hand for the suitcase which was still in the boy's grip. As he hefted it into the overhead compartment, he noted the tag: ' _Blaine Anderson'_ followed by an Ohio address and his telephone number. Kurt looked up and down the aisle, and not spotting anyone that looked parental to the boy, he looked back down at him. "Do you have a seat somewhere in the area?"

Blaine glanced down at his ticket and then up at the seat labels in front of them. "I'm in the seat next to you, actually." The smile on his face turned shy. He waited for Kurt to return to his seat before sliding in next to him, putting a small tote bag under the seat in front of him. "I'm Blaine," he offered, holding out his hand.

"Kurt," he replied, shaking Blaine's hand. "So, what brings you on a flight to New York City?"

"School trip," Blaine answered. "I joined at the last minute and they weren't able to get me on the same flight as the rest of the group, so here I am." He held out his hands and gestured to where he sat.

Kurt raised his eyebrow. "So, they're letting you fly alone?"

"I'm 15, not a child!" Blaine fumed. "I can handle a three hour flight alone."

"I'm sure you can."

Blaine pouted for a few more moments. He twisted his body so that he could remove his cardigan and he placed it carefully on his lap so that it wouldn't get wrinkled. As they waited for the rest of the passengers to board, Kurt returned to his Sky Mall and Blaine dug through his tote for something. Seeming to not find it, Kurt noticed Blaine's eyes fill with tears.

"Everything okay?"

Blaine huffed and his search started to turn a little frantic. "I  _know_  I brought gum for the take off! I put it in the front, I know I did!"

Kurt placed a hand on top of Blaine's arm. "Why don't you take a few deep breaths before you start hyperventilating?"

Blaine took a shaky breath and wiped a few tears off his cheeks. "But, if I can't even find a simple pack of gum, how can I handle being in a whole different state?" His chest rose and fell with his rapid breaths. "It's a disaster!"

Kurt felt his heart clench at the terror in Blaine's eyes. "I'm sure it's not going to be a disaster, Blaine." His hand rubbed Blaine's knee, hoping it would comfort him. "School trips are generally planned so that nothing horrible will happen." Kurt reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack of gum. "Besides, I've got plenty to spare."

Blaine accepted a piece with a grateful smile. He placed his tote bag back under the seat in front of him and settled more fully into his seat.

Kurt, noticing the flight attendants start to prepare for takeoff, folded up the magazine and slotted it back in the seatback holder.

They both stayed silent as the stewardess went through the pre-flight safety routine, Kurt zoning out after the first thirty seconds, Blaine watching intently and seeming to get more tense the more terrible events that the attendants detailed survival tips for.

As the stewardess explained about the seat cushion being useable as a flotation device, Blaine turned to face Kurt. "I didn't think there was water between Ohio and New York."

"There's not; it's just part of their routine," Kurt explained, putting a hand on Blaine's arm and squeezing. "Planes are very safe. This is all just something their required to talk about. I'm sure everything will go great with this flight."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I'll be here with you the whole time."

Blaine smiled. "That's really sweet, but there's really nowhere else you could be for the flight."

Kurt frowned. "Way to ruin my moment." He grabbed the separate parts of his seatbelt and buckled himself in.

"Oh, trust me, you're still a hero to me." Blaine's eyes sparkled, his face finally having color return to it. He fiddled with his own seatbelt, making sure it was properly secured. As the plane started driving toward the runway, the tenseness to Blaine's body started returning and the knuckles on his fingers turned white with how tightly he was gripping the arm rest.

"So, why is your class travelling to New York?"

Blaine turned to face him, eyes slightly unfocused with the nerves he must be feeling. "Um, it's part of my choir's lesson on Broadway. They want us to experience a show right from the source."

"That's great. What show are you going to be seeing?"

The focus started to return to Blaine's gaze, though it flashed mild panic as the plane turned to line up with the runway. "Wicked."

"A personal favorite. Have you seen it before?"

Blaine shook his head. "I've been obsessed with the soundtrack, though."

Kurt smiled. "I don't trust anyone who  _isn't_. It's a fantastic show; you're going to be blown away."

Blaine's response was cut off by the plane starting to speed along the runway. He placed his hands back on the armrests and gripped tightly. His jaw flexed rapidly as he chewed on the piece of gum in his mouth.

Kurt shot him as reassuring a smile as he could manage and he placed a hand on one of Blaine's. "We'll be at a stable height soon, don't worry." Blaine's skin took on a pale, clammy quality as the plane tilted ever so slightly, not getting any better when they reached the proper altitude. "See, no problems."

Blaine nodded, still looking shaken and his hands were still gripping the armrests. "I think I might be slightly motion sick," Blaine whispered, eyes closed tightly, face paling even further and chest rising much too quickly with breaths.

"Blaine," Kurt said, voice suddenly louder and more stern than he planned. "You're letting your nerves get the better of you. Look at me and match my breathing."

Blaine looked at him, clearly startled by the order. His glassy eyes zeroed in on Kurt's lips, intently studying them and slowly matching his breathing to Kurt's.

"Good job. Are you feeling better?"

Blaine nodded and he pulled his hands from his death grip and shakily tried to relax them. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome." As soon as the seatbelt sign turned off, Kurt unbuckled it, sighing in relief. "The flight attendants will be coming around soon with food and drinks. Make sure to get a Sprite or ginger ale – it'll help settle your stomach."

Blaine nodded. He bent down and dug through his bag, sliding out a few slim books which Kurt thought looked like sheet music packets.

"If you're still lightheaded, I would avoid trying to read."

"Oh, really?"

Kurt nodded. "I'd recommend listening to music or watching a movie." Kurt indicated the screen in front of him.

"I take it you've been on a plane before?"

"Yeah, I flew to New York right after graduation to try and make a name for myself…the only name I made was with my landlord when I fell behind on my rent. Apparently, I don't have the voice or body from Broadway."

"That really sucks. So, now?"

"So now that I've got my degree at the community college in Ohio, I'm going back to try again." Kurt held up his hands with the first two fingers crossed. "Here's hoping I don't screw it up again."

"Are you going to try Broadway again?"

Kurt shook his head. "Not right now. I'll keep auditioning, but it's not going to be my main focus."

"So, what are you going to do?"

Kurt felt a smile fill his face. "Fashion. I sent a portfolio to a few companies and Marie Claire hired me for their online division."

"That's fantastic!" Blaine's eyes were alight with wonder. "When do you start? Do you know what you'll be doing for them?"

"Not certain. My orientation is next week."

"Awesome."

Kurt was stopped from responding by the flight attendant. "What can I get for you sirs?"

"Ummm," Kurt thought back to earlier when he had been desperate for alcohol and then he looked over at the smiling face of his travel companion. "Just a Coke."

"A Sprite please," Blaine requested with a charming smile, "and maybe some of those pretzel twists?"

"Sure thing," the stewardess said, turning to her cart and grabbing their drinks. She made quick work of pouring the drinks and handing it to them. "Enjoy."

Blaine set his drink carefully in the tray table's holder and opened the pretzel bag, frowning when he saw the contents.

"Something wrong?" Kurt asked, taking a sip and letting the bubbles from the carbonation burst along his tongue.

"There are only three pretzels in here!"

Kurt snorted. "Yeah. I was disappointed when I got it last time." He bent down and reached into his own bag and pulled out a much larger bag of pretzels, holding it out to Blaine.

Blaine smiled his thanks. He slid a slim mp3 player out of his pocket and a pair of ear buds. He slid the left ear bud into his own ear and offered the other to Kurt. "Would you like to listen, too?"

"Sure." Kurt was curious what Blaine's musical interests were. He accepted the bud and was pleasantly surprised when the soundtrack to Chess started up.

Sharing the bag of pretzels and two bottles of water that Kurt pulled from his bag, they listened their way through Little Shop of Horrors, and Hairspray. Just as Phantom was starting up, the seatbelt sign turned back on and the pilot announced over the speakers that they were approaching their destination.

As Blaine carefully wound up his ear bugs around his mp3 player and placed it in his bag, Kurt put his tray table back into its holder and buckled his seatbelt.

"Should I chew another piece of gum for the landing?" Blaine asked, eyes not as panicked as before.

"It'd be helpful," Kurt responded, pulling out the pack and giving him another piece. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Blaine looked out the window, hands automatically going to their armrests and gripping firmly. "Is that the Empire State Building?" he asked, excitement and awe in his voice.

Kurt peered out and nodded. "Impressive, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I hope they let us go sightseeing while we're here." Blaine's voice trailed off as the plane started to tilt down towards the ground.

Kurt took Blaine's hand in his and squeezed it. "Only a few more minutes and we'll be done."

Blaine turned his hands and fumblingly twined their fingers together. Kurt could feel the jolt of Blaine's body when the wheels touched down. Blaine's hand clenched down even more at the roar of the brakes as the plane raced towards a stop at the end of the runway.

"See, I told you we'd make it safely," Kurt said, smiling at the boy once the plane was stopped.

Blaine still looked a bit frazzled.

Once the plane was docked at their terminal, Kurt continued, "So, what's the plan for meeting up with your classmates? Do you know if their flight has already landed?"

Blaine shook his head, slipping his cardigan back onto his arms and buttoning the top two buttons. "Their flight lands in two hours," he said, shrugging. "I guess I'll just get a coffee and wait in the café."

Kurt frowned. "There's no way you should be left alone in New York at your age."

Blaine pouted, eyes flashing with anger. "I'm not a child! Even if I was, an airport is hardly more dangerous than anywhere I could be in Ohio."

Kurt held back the smile trying to rise to his face at Blaine's petulant tone. "I'm not trying to insult you, Blaine; I just think you first experience in a different city shouldn't start with you alone in the airport." Kurt looked down at his phone, noting the time. "How about this? I'll stay with you until they arrive."

Blaine's eyes widened. "You would really do that?" He flinched when the person behind him nearly brained him with a purse. She was nice enough to apologize with a sheepish smile.

Once Kurt was certain his traveling companion wasn't about to be knocked silly with something else, he responded, "Absolutely. I could use a hot cup of coffee before trying to find my way to my new apartment."

"Awesome," Blaine breathed, beaming at Kurt. "Do you think, um…" Blaine reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, fiddling with it. Blaine's cheeks flushed pink and he kept glancing away from Kurt. "Do you think I could get your number?" His voice was shy and very uncertain. "Not to- I just thought you could give me some ideas of places to see while I was here."

"Sure," Kurt responded. Accepting the phone, he was quick to add his number to Blaine's contacts, shooting himself a text so that he would have Blaine's number as well.

Blaine cradled his phone like it was the most precious gift.

Kurt looked down the aisle and noticed the thinning crowd. "We should be able to disembark soon."

Blaine looked as well before struggling to stand, legs probably slightly asleep from their bent position that they'd been in the entire flight. Kurt waited until Blaine sidestepped into the aisle before attempting to stand, himself.

When Blaine stepped aside for him, Kurt turned so that he could reach into the overhead compartment for their bags. When he handed the suitcase to Blaine, he caught Blaine's gaze quickly flying up from where he'd been staring at where Kurt's shirt had ridden up in the back. "Here you go," Kurt said, biting back a smile.

"Thanks," Blaine responded, expression slightly guilty at being caught staring.

Kurt made quick work pulling his own bag down. "Shall we?" he asked, gesturing for Blaine to venture ahead of him. Kurt didn't let himself gaze at his backside, which was swinging in front of him. Anyone with eyes could see how attractive Blaine was for his age, and the way he was dressed made him look older than his years. If he were even four years older… Kurt shook his head.

They were too far apart in age, and Blaine was a minor. All he could be was Blaine's friend. He needed to work on his own life too, so he couldn't dwell on the 'might have beens'.

When they got out of the terminal, Blaine looked around, eyes widening as he took in just how large it was. Kurt put his hand on Blaine's shoulder and lightly pushed him over to the nearest TV screen. "Do you know which flight your classmates are on?"

Blaine scanned the board, pointing to a flight halfway down. "This should be them."

"Looks like it'll be arriving on time. We should find somewhere to sit." Kurt hefted his bag onto his shoulder, leading the way down the main hallway toward the middle of the airport. "If you see somewhere you'd like, let me know."

Blaine blinked, looking around at the different eateries and shops before looking back at Kurt. "I don't… I'm fine wherever you want to go."

"Well, there's a Starbucks up ahead, otherwise we can try out Jitters."

Blaine looked back and forth between the two coffee shops and then he looked back at Kurt with a shy smile. "I don't care. You pick."

Kurt's eyes narrowed slightly, but he shrugged it off. "Well, maybe we should try something new. New city, new experience, right?"

Blaine looked a little disappointed, but his face fell into a neutral expression a few seconds later. "Sure."

Kurt paused. "You don't look too sure about that. We can go to Starbucks if you want."

Blaine shook his head quickly. "No, that's alright."

Kurt put his hands on his hips. "Blaine, I don't really care where we go, but you looked upset when I decided against Starbucks. Do you want to go there instead?"

Blaine flushed. "Maybe? I really like their coffee."

Kurt sighed. "So why didn't you say so?"

Blaine shrugged, looking really embarrassed and scuffing his shoe on the floor. "I didn't want to make you unhappy," he finally admitted, unable to meet Kurt's gaze.

Kurt's heart clenched painfully at the realization that Blaine was so uncertain and unconfident in himself that he thought that he could make a choice so wrong that he'd upset the person that he was with. Kurt took a few steps toward Blaine and bent his head so that he could try and catch Blaine's eye. "Blaine, there isn't any choice you could make that would make me unhappy."

Blaine raised his head, looking confused, but oh so hopeful. "Really?"

Kurt nodded. "So why don't we go to Starbucks and get you a large cup of your favorite coffee?"

"That sounds great," Blaine responded, looking relieved. He followed Kurt to the café, nearly running into him when Kurt stopped abruptly.

"How about you find us a table while I get our orders? What do you like?"

"Just a medium drip. Is there…" Blaine glanced around the seating area. "Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to sit?"

Kurt noticed, once again, Blaine's hesitance to make a decision, but he pushed it aside. "Anywhere's fine, Blaine. I'm not picky."

Blaine bit his lip, looking unsure, but he did turn from him and start meandering through the tables to find a pair of empty seats. Kurt watched for a few moments before turning to face the board above the counter, debating what he'd order today. After a few people ahead of them put in their orders, he felt eyes on him. He turned and caught Blaine's gaze, smiling when the boy looked flustered and Kurt waved at him. Blaine returned his wave before ducking his head in embarrassment.

Finally, it was Kurt's turn to order. He made quick work of it, paying the charge and sliding down to where the pickup area was. He gratefully accepted the steaming cups of coffee and carried them carefully to the table Blaine had picked for them. He set down Blaine's cup in front of him and settled into his own chair, tentatively taking a sip of his own mocha.

Blaine kept glancing up at Kurt and quickly away, drinking his coffee slowly. "Thank you for staying with me," Blaine finally offered, looking up at Kurt through his eyelashes.

"You're welcome, Blaine."

They both drank from their cups in a decidedly comfortable silence, both of them people watching. Time passed quickly in this way, both of them commenting on the outfits people were wearing or trying to guess what accent people were speaking with.

"I can't wait to see New York." Blaine said, smiling up at Kurt. "I've wanted to see a show since… well, since as long as I can remember."

Kurt smiled brightly at the boy. "You're going to have such fun." He considered Blaine for a moment. "Can I ask why you joined this trip at the last minute?" Kurt asked, taking a sip of his mocha and looking at Blaine over the rim.

Blaine, seemingly shocked by Kurt's question, choked slightly on the sip he'd just taken. Blaine's face fell and his hand rose to rub self-consciously at a small scar above his right ear. "It was, um…" Blaine's eyes turned glassy with sudden tears. "I went to a dance with my friend Michael and the football team didn't appreciate it." Blaine's face twisted into a sad grimace. "I ended up with mostly scrapes and bruises, but one of them stamped on my hand." He flexed his left hand and Kurt noticed that it didn't bend smoothly. "The doctor wasn't sure if it would be fully healed in time for the trip, so I had to wait."

Kurt's heart broke. This poor, beautiful boy never should have gone through something horrible like that.

"The doctor thinks I might be able to play piano again. I've got an appointment with a physical therapist when I get home."

"I'm so sorry, Blaine. No one deserves to have such anger put upon them." He set his hand carefully on Blaine's. "If you need anyone to talk to, give me a call. I may not have been through what you went through, but I can be an open ear. Being gay in Ohio is terrifying, especially if you're alone." Dumpster tosses, slushies, and a stolen first kiss by his tormentor could hardly hold a candle to a gay bashing.

Blaine finally looked up at Kurt. "Thank you," he whispered, brushing away a tear from his eye.

"Have they done anything at your school as far as protection for you?"

Blaine shook his head. "The boys were suspended for a week, but that really only made them angrier. After this trip, my Mom's going to see about transferring me to another school. Michael went to another public school, but I'm… I don't know if it's smart to go there, too."

"Keep me updated. There may not be much I can do from New York, but I don't want you going through this alone."

"Thank you," Blaine said, looking up at Kurt like he couldn't quite believe him.

He was about to continue speaking when a small voice screeched, " _Blaine!_ " from their right.

Blaine jumped and turned to face a girl who had come running up to them. "Tina?"

Tina looked furious. "We've been looking all over for you. Mr. Schuester's pissed." She grabbed his hand and nearly yanked him off his chair, barely bothering to glance at Kurt. "We've got to go _now_!"

Blaine huffed, yanking his hand out of Tina's. "Can I have a minute to say goodbye to my friend?"

Tina narrowed her eyes, finally acknowledging Kurt. "I suppose." She looked Kurt up and down, looking decidedly unimpressed.

Blaine turned to face Kurt with a bashful look on his face. "There's no way I can thank you for all this, Kurt."

"It was my pleasure, Blaine."

Blaine looked like he wanted to say more, but Tina was starting to pull at his arm again. "I'll talk to you later?" Blaine asked, holding up his phone.

Kurt nodded. "Take care, Blaine."

Blaine smiled once more before picking up his bag and following dutifully after Tina, glancing once more back at Kurt before they turned around the corner. Kurt felt his smile drop once Blaine was out of sight. He'd had such a good time with Blaine that he'd forgotten just how much work was ahead of him. He sighed and tossed his coffee in the nearest trash can.

* * *

**Thank you for your patience. Real life got in the way again and I wanted to make sure I had time to devout to this story. I hope it was worth the wait. Next chapter we'll get back to more current time to see what happens next with Kurt and Blaine.**

**Reviews are always appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4

**2014**

There were fingers in his hair, scratching softly and sending pleasant tingles down his body. Blaine felt a hum rise in his throat, almost a purr, as the fingers continued their massage. After a while, the fingers moved from his head down to his neck and shoulders, kneading and pressing lightly. Blaine tilted his head so that the fingers could reach anywhere they wanted to. He was rewarded with a small press of lips to the top of his spine.

The hands continued their trek down his body and they didn't leave a single area untouched. He twitched when the fingers brushed against the back of his knee. There was a chuckle from behind him and a murmured ' _ticklish?_ '

Blaine nodded, a small smile rising to his mouth, making a quiet noise of affirmation before giving back in the sensations.

Blaine didn't know how much time had passed, nor did he care. Even with his body anchored to Kurt's, Blaine felt like he was floating. Between several minutes of weightlessness, Kurt's hand would brush against a part of Blaine's body that would send a warm shock throughout the rest of it. Blaine's toes would curl with it, his hands gripping at Kurt's legs underneath him before everything would relax completely into weightlessness once more.

Blaine didn't know how long they laid in the bath for. All he knew was that he never wanted to leave. Kurt spent a long time stroking his hands up and down all over Blaine's body, massaging and cleaning until Blaine couldn't feel anything but Kurt's hands.

Blaine was brought back to wakefulness at the sensation of Kurt's palm catching on his right nipple at the same time that his nose brushed against the sensitive skin at the base of Blaine's jaw.

" _Kurt_ ," Blaine whined, arching his back.

He could feel the smile on Kurt's lips when they pressed to his shoulder. "How are you feeling, Beautiful?"

It took a moment before his brain could work properly enough to respond. "Calm… relaxed… perfect."

Kurt's arms squeezed around Blaine. "I'm so happy. You looked so peaceful; I almost didn't want to bring you back."

"Mmm," Blaine responded. He pulled Kurt's arms back around him so that he could sink further into Kurt's embrace.

"Don't you fall asleep on me, Darling Boy," Kurt threatened. "If we don't get out of the tub soon, we're both going to be prunes."

Blaine whined. "But I don't want to move!"

"Well, I'm getting out, so it's going to be up to you about whether you join me or stay here."

Blaine sighed, the noise full of drama. "Fine, I guess I can get out too."

Kurt shimmied out of the bath, right foot slipping once, whooping in shock as his arms flailed about him. His hand shot out and smacked the tile, barely catching himself. "So, maybe the bath salts weren't the  _greatest_  idea," Kurt grumbled, stepping gingerly out of the bathtub onto the rug and turning to face Blaine.

He held out his hands and Blaine grabbed them, allowing Kurt to pull him up and out of the tub. When Blaine was fully stood up and right in front of Kurt, they spent a few seconds just smiling at each other.

Kurt grabbed their fluffiest towel and wrapped it tenderly around Blaine, softly rubbing up and down Blaine's body to start drying him off. Blaine had never felt more cared for and loved than this moment. He let himself imagine that Kurt was actually his Dom and his boyfriend and his heart swelled with happiness.

Blaine let his mind drift as Kurt used the towel to slowly and carefully dry Blaine's body and hair. As Blaine started coming back to consciousness, he noticed that Kurt was no longer touching him. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times to get rid of the fuzziness in his vision. Kurt was quickly drying himself off, long limbs stretching and bending to reach every area.

Kurt must have felt Blaine eyes, because he glanced up at him and smiled brightly, eyes crinkling up at the sides and his nose scrunching up. He hung the towel up on the nearest rack and took Blaine's hand. He led Blaine toward Kurt's bedroom, closing the door behind them and directing Blaine to the bed.

Blaine sat down on the right side, feeling his heart start to pick up at the idea that maybe Kurt would want to have sex. Kurt pulled out two pairs of briefs, tossing one to Blaine and pulling one on himself. Blaine's heart fell a little, but really, Kurt wouldn't have sex with someone as inexperienced as Blaine, especially when he's someone else's Dom. Kurt joined Blaine on the bed, settling himself against the headboard and gestured for Blaine to scoot over and sit between Kurt's legs.

As soon as Blaine was situated, Kurt put his arms around Blaine and started massaging lightly, humming softly in Blaine's ear. Blaine quickly fell back under, letting the sensations take over his body.

Blaine didn't know how long Kurt massaged up and down Blaine's arms and torso, but if he were honest, he wouldn't mind if he never stopped.

"Do you want to know anything about my story?"

Blaine blinked his eyes open, having been lulled into an almost sleep – the leftover warmth from the bath and Kurt's hands against his skin were so soothing. "Your story?"

He felt Kurt nod behind him. "We've never really talked about me being a Dom more than the basics. I think it might help you if you know how I got into the scene."

Blaine bit his lip, settling himself further into Kurt so that he could turn to face him a bit. "Are you sure?"

Kurt's eyes were half-lidded and his hair was damp across his forehead and Blaine had never found him more beautiful.

**2007**

Kurt pulled his jacket more tightly around his body, trying to keep out the bitterly cold wind. His choice of outfit had been chosen to be visibly pleasing, but it was far from practical. His knee high Doc Martins made his legs look amazing, but made him seriously second guess his decision to forgo a cab and walk to the club. Before he could look for a cab, he spotted the sign for the club up ahead. He self-consciously patted his hair into submission during the last few feet and then he was outside the door.

There were only a few people lined up outside the door, but from Kurt's brief glance, they already seemed to be paired off. Kurt sidled over to the end of the line and tried to use the wall to block the wind from reaching him.

His ears perked up when the couple in front of him started talking. "Please, Madame, may I touch you?"

Kurt peeked at them. The person who had spoken was a girl who looked to be about his age. She wore a bright yellow bow in her hair. The woman she was speaking to crossed her arms over her chest. "I told you before we left that you had to wait until we were inside." She brushed her hair over her shoulder and Kurt noted the bright blue bracelet on her wrist.

"But, it's been too lon-"

"Enough!" The woman ordered. "If you ask me one more time, you'll have to wait another week to come. You know better than to ask when you've already been told the answer… unless you want to be punished."

The girl shook her head. "I'm sorry, Madame. I promise I'll be good."

The woman smiled, reaching out and stroking a hand down her cheek. "It's okay, Lovely. Thank you for apologizing. If you're able to wait just a little longer, I'll make it up to you. Would you like that?"

The girl was quick to nod. "Yes, Madame. Thank you."

Kurt, meanwhile let their conversation replay in his head. The girl with the yellow bow was obviously a sub and the woman with the blue bracelet was her Domme. He'd researched a lot about the D/s relationship, but he'd had yet to see it in person.

He fiddled with his blue tie nervously, suddenly uncertain about his decision to come to this club. The reviews he'd read online said it was a good place to meet unclaimed subs, but was he really ready to make his first foray into the scene?

He had just decided to leave when a waft of cinnamon met his nostrils. He turned to investigate the smell and was confronted with one of the best looking men he'd ever seen.

The man stood at Kurt's side, a tight green shirt on his chest and the tightest pair of leather pants Kurt had ever seen someone fit into. The man looked Kurt over and a pleased smile rose to his face. "Hello, precious." He held out his hand.

Kurt looked down at it in confusion.

"Come with me," the man said, holding his hand up higher.

"But-"

"Anyone with eyes can see that you're the hottest guy here. Stick with me and you could leave here a happy man."

Kurt could find no ill intent on the man's face, so he grasped the man's hand and followed him as he bypassed the line and entered the club with nothing more than a smile and nod from the bouncer.

There were several envious eyes on Kurt from blue and yellow clothed patrons as they entered. The man holding Kurt's hand didn't give any of them a second glance.

"I'm Elliott," the man said over his shoulder, leading them to the bar.

"Kurt," he returned.

Once they reached the bar, Elliott finally released his hand and turned to face him. "So, what brings you to the Kink Club, Kurt?" Elliott reached out and fingered Kurt's tie.

"Just trying out something new," Kurt responded, shrugging.

"Am I safe to assume you don't have a sub waiting at home for you?"

Kurt shook his head.

Elliott smiled brightly. "Lucky me." He pulled Kurt closer, hand wrapped around his tie. "I'd like to drink and dance a little, but how about afterwards you join me at my place?"

Kurt's eyes widened. "But I'm a-"

"Dom? Your blue tie makes that obvious, Kurt. I myself am what some people call a 'Switch'. You're sending me some pretty serious vibes and I'm really feeling submissive tonight. I'd like to explore that with you."

Kurt finally realized the significance of the green color of Elliott's shirt.

"Plus, with me being a Switch, I can help you with anything you want to learn about being a Dom."

Kurt nodded, even while still not quite understanding. "So-"

"So, I can sense that you've never really done anything like this before and I'd like to help teach you. I've helped quite a few other Doms and subs tap into their true nature and I'd like to do the same for you… no strings attached, if that's what you're worried about."

Elliott ordered himself a beer and than a Rum and Coke for Kurt.

"Plus, you look smoking hot in that outfit and I'm desperate to know what you look like underneath it."

Kurt felt the tips of his ears go red. Elliott might be feeling submissive tonight, but his face and tone were predatory. Kurt shivered at the thought of being stripped by him. "Can't wait," Kurt finally replied.

As they danced, several men and women tried to squeeze between them and steal Elliott's attention. Elliott would slide around the intruder and come back to Kurt, hands wrapping around Kurt's waist and pulling him closer.

Elliott made letting go easy for a usually closed off Kurt. As Elliott's hips swayed and twisted to the beat, Kurt shifted closer and raised his arms in the air, serpentining himself around and against him.

Kurt wasn't sure how long they spent dancing together, but when Elliott pulled away to look him in the eyes, Kurt was beyond ready to go home with him. Before Eliot could even open his mouth to ask, Kurt breathlessly ordered, "Take me home… now."

Elliott's eyes darkened, nodding quickly and leading Kurt out of the club to the street. There was a cab waiting out front and Elliott nabbed it, shuffling them both inside and parroting out his address. "Kurt, do you-"

"Shut up. No more talking until I have you underneath me and naked."

Elliott nodded silently, looking beyond interested and hungry for just that. Kurt put his hands high up on Elliott's thigh and squeezed, hard enough for Elliott to tense up in pain. Kurt looked Elliott up and down, beyond pleased at how he was holding himself. Elliott's eyes were lowered demurely towards the floor of the cab, his hands resting lightly on the tops of his legs, face attentive, but his body was relaxed. It was as if he was awaiting Kurt's next order, but he was content to wait forever.

Elliott only raised his eyes once they stopped outside what Kurt assumed was his apartment complex. Elliott hurriedly paid the cabby and exited the car, standing still and silent until Kurt joined him on the sidewalk.

At Kurt's nod toward the door, Elliott pulled out his keys and made quick work of the locks, letting Kurt enter before him and then gesturing silently toward the elevator.

When they'd stepped inside and the doors closed behind them, Kurt pulled Elliott close and kissed him, hard and solid. Kurt pulled back a few seconds later, delighting in Elliott's quiet whimper and unconscious lean toward him. The elevator jolted to a stop. Elliott once again silently directed Kurt as to which way to go and then finally blessedly, they were outside Elliott's door.

Elliott's hands were sure as he unlocked the door, lowering his head and waiting for Kurt to enter before following.

Kurt scanned the apartment for a few moments pleased with Elliott's taste in design. Before too long, the nervous energy started bubbling in his veins. Earlier in the club and cab, Kurt had acted more confident and in control than he'd ever had before. Maybe Elliott's calm confidence in him brought it out in Kurt?

When Kurt turned to face Elliott, his heart stuttered in his chest. Elliott was kneeling on the carpet at Kurt's feet, body posed in such a way that it was almost like an offering. If Kurt hadn't been turned on already, this would have done the job.

He didn't stop himself from reaching out and stroking his hand over Elliott's cheek, smiling when he leaned into the contact.

"You are breathtaking," Kurt said, running a finger along Elliott's lower lip. "How has no one claimed you yet?"

Elliott just blinked up at him.

"Is it because you're a Switch?"

Once again Elliott didn't answer.

Kurt frowned. Why was Elliott not responding? Was Kurt doing something wrong? "Why aren't you answering me?"

Elliott bit his lip. "You told me that you wanted me silent until I was naked under you."

Kurt's eyes widened in realization. "Oh, God. I gave you a direction and forgot about it. That's really bad."

Elliott smiled, reaching a hand up and placing it on Kurt's arm. "It's okay. It's your first time; it happens. You'll know now for next time." He dropped his hand and returned to his original position.

Kurt nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to settle himself. "The original direction stands, but with a slight change: you're to answer all my questions and I want you to use your safe word whenever you're uncomfortable. Do you… what do you typically use?"

Elliott's smile was proud and Kurt's heart fluttered. "Since I'm more casual with my interactions, I generally use Red, Yellow, and Green."

Kurt nodded. That would make things easier. "Perfect. And are you clean?"

Elliott nodded. "I'm safe in every interaction and I get tested every month."

"Good." Kurt looked Elliott up and down. "Any allergies?"

Elliott shook his head.

"Limits?"

"I'm open to pretty much anything. I doubt you'll reach any of my limits tonight. If you do, I'll let you know."

Kurt nodded once more. "Wonderful. Unless you need to use the restroom, I'm going to need you to show me to your bedroom."

Elliott gracefully rose to his feet and made his way past the kitchen to the first door in the hallway. "Bathroom is the next door," Elliott said, pointing towards it.

Once they entered the room, Elliott dropped to his knees and bowed his head once more. Kurt took a few moments to look around the room. The decorations were tasteful, but they also had a distinctive flair: little flashes of color interspersed with a subdued dark blue tone. Once he'd had his fill, he turned to face Elliott once more. "Get on the bed and lay on your back," he said, happy when his voice didn't waver.

Elliott was quick to comply, settling down and awaiting Kurt's next command.

Kurt crawled up onto the bed, hands and knees over Elliott's body, looking him over. Elliott's eyes stayed on Kurt's as he hovered over him. Kurt placed his hands on Elliott's hips and slid his fingers up and under his shirt. He smiled when Elliott shivered at the contact. Kurt leaned down and pressed his lips to Elliott's jaw, sucking lightly as he ran his hands along Elliott's ribcage. When he felt Elliott's hands flex next to his legs, Kurt pulled away. He took Elliott's hands and placed them up by his head, one over the other, and pressed down firmly. "Do not move them."

Once he was satisfied that Elliott would obey, he returned to what he was doing, When Kurt sucked a particularly stunning bruise beneath Elliott's ear, he was rewarded with a low groan.

"How long has it been since you've come?" Kurt asked, stroking his hands across his chest and digging his nails in lightly.

Elliott's eyes, which had been closed since being ordered still, fluttered open. The pupils were dilated. "Four days," he admitted.

"Perfect." He made quick work of pulling Elliott's shirt up and over his head, tossing it carelessly behind him. "Were you in a scene at the time?"

Elliott nodded, muscles in his abs flexing as Kurt trailed his fingers over them.

"Were you a Dom or a sub?"

"Dom," Elliott responded.

"When's the last time you allowed yourself to be submissive?"

"Two weeks." Elliott's hands clenched when one of Kurt's fingers caught on his nipple. "Kurt, please."

Kurt paused his movements and cocked his head. "Did I say you could speak?"

Elliott's eyes widened with a sudden worry. He shook his head.

"Tell me what I ordered."

Elliott swallowed and licked his lips. "I am not to speak until I'm naked under you, unless you ask me a question."

"And are you naked?"

Elliott shook his head.

"And did I ask you anything?"

Elliott shook his head again.

"Then I expect you not to disappoint me again." Once Kurt was satisfied that Elliott wouldn't talk again, he started removing Elliott's pants. "Maybe you've gotten to use to getting your own way; you think that it's okay to break the rules because you're with an inexperienced Dom? Maybe you're just afraid of letting go? I may not have done this very often, but I can't help you if you won't trust me. Do you think you can trust me?" Kurt pulled the pants off Elliott's ankles and dropped them off the side of the bed.

When Elliott nodded, Kurt smiled. "Good. Then we can continue." Kurt dropped his hands to the waistband of Elliott's briefs. "Before we continue: do you have a preference?"

"The Switch title applies in that aspect as well," he said with a smirk.

"Well, I rarely bottom." He lowered Elliot's briefs, eyebrows rising in interest as his cock was revealed. He withheld the appreciative whistle, just barely. "Although, for you, I'm tempted to make an exception."

Elliott smiled, but he stayed silent. Kurt trailed a finger up the underside of his cock. Kurt stood up from the bed and dug through his pockets, pulling out a few condoms and some lube. He did his best to shimmy gracefully out of his own pants and shirt before crawling back on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Green," Elliott was quick to reply. "So green."

"Good." Kurt pressed his hands into Elliott's once more, as if making certain of the anchor he'd made by having him place his hands that way. "Is there anything you need of me before we start?"

"As long as I have you in me before the night ends, we're golden."

Kurt chuckled. "That, I can do."

**2014**

Kurt trailed off when he felt how tense Blaine was. "Sorry, I got a little caught up in that. I'm sure you don't want me to go into details about that night."

"I'd prefer not," Blaine admitted.

"Well, I certainly don't blame you for that. But anyway, I met with Elliott on and off that first year until he felt he was no longer able to help me, when he felt that I was good on my own. After that, I kind of just went about my life, waiting to find someone I could make a connection with. It took a while, but Simon and I were paired by a mutual friend and we've been together ever since."

Blaine bit his lip, seeming to consider what he'd said. "Do you… do you love him?"

"Simon? No." Kurt paused, trying to figure out how to explain it to Blaine. "We're not dating. Simon's a good friend and he's been an amazing sub, but he's dating someone else and I'm not interested in more from him."

Blaine looked relieved. "And that's not weird for you?"

Kurt shook his head. "We both went into it knowing what this would be. He needed an outlet and I liked what he was able to bring out in me."

"Would you ever be interested in dating someone?"

"Definitely. I'd love to get married, too."

"And how will that work with your contract with Simon?"

Kurt shrugged. "I hadn't entirely figured that out. The man I date will have to understand that it's a part of my life. It's like a hobby, just a little less socially talked about."

"What if you found someone to date that also wanted to be your sub?" Blaine asked, expression trying to look innocent, but not succeeding.

"Blaine, I know what you're really asking and I don't have an answer for you. You need to give me time to figure this all out. I really like you; we've been good friends for a long time. Our connection is strong, too. I just can't end things with Simon without giving this decision the time it deserves. Please don't push me."

Blaine looked remorseful and slightly guilty. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right." Kurt pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's forehead. "We'll get through this together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait between chapters. I was unhappy with what I'd written and I struggled with the bit in regards to Elliott and Kurt. Plus, real life has been beyond bad - in and out of hospitalization, so writing has been slow going. Plus, with Glee being over, my muse hasn't been speaking as loudly to me, but this story will go on. I hope you'll stick with it and with me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting for this update. Life and work got crazy, but I was able to finish up the chapter on my NYC trip and get this posted for you.

  **2014**

The club Kurt took them to wasn't at all what Blaine expected. It wasn't too crowded and the music was at a fairly appropriate level for there to be conversation among the patrons. Blaine messed with his canary yellow bowtie once, stopping when Kurt noticed. "You look gorgeous, Blaine, don't worry."

Kurt traced a finger around the neat edge of Blaine's bowtie, looking amazing himself in a tight navy blue button up, his arms nearly bulging out of the sleeves where he'd rolled them up his arms.

Blaine looked around the club curiously, taking in the myriad of people and groupings with interest. Kurt, meanwhile, kept his eyes on Blaine as if he were trying to read his reaction. There was a small group of men bedecked in various shades of blues standing in a corner who were scanning the crowd with eager eyes. Kurt, noticing their gazes fall on Blaine, put a secure hand around Blaine's waist, glaring at them, making Blaine's heart flutter.

"Don't stray too far tonight, Darling Boy. There are Doms in the world who wouldn't hesitate to sweep you up and take you."

Blaine shuddered, a cold sensation crawling down his spine. "Thank you, Sir."

Kurt smiled and pulled Blaine even closer, chest to chest. Blaine didn't know how long Kurt held him and swayed them to the beat, but Blaine would have been happy if Kurt never let him go. Kurt traced his fingers up and down Blaine's spine, humming deeply under his breath. Blaine could feel himself drifting, but before he could get too far, a clearing of a throat came from behind them. It took Blaine a few moments to return to the present, the stiffening of Kurt's body clueing him into the fact that he was also displeased at the interruption.

Kurt turned to face the person, recognition flashing in his eyes and a small smile rising to his mouth. The man was tall, his jet black hair swept artfully off his forehead. He wore a translucent green top with a glittery leather jacket over it. His dark eyes shone though the kohl smudged around them.

Kurt glanced back at Blaine. "Blaine, I'd like you to meet Elliott. Elliott, this is Blaine."

"Well, hello there, gorgeous," Elliott purred, giving Blaine an obvious look-over.

"Umm, hi," Blaine shyly responded, suddenly overwhelmed by the intensity of Elliott's stare.

After another minute of staring at him, Elliott turned his gaze to Kurt. "He's beautiful; would you let me borrow him for a few days?"

Blaine knew the color in his face must have drained away and he looked at Kurt, silently begging him to say no.

Kurt frowned, eyes flashing with anger. "Absolutely not," he gritted out. He placed an arm around Blaine and brought him closer to his side.

Elliott held his hands up surrender. "Hey, I wasn't trying to steal him. You told me before that he was unclaimed and I figured I could offer my services if he wanted more practice."

Kurt's murderous expression faded into a more neutral one. "It's okay, El. He's just not in a place where Dom-hopping would be healthy." Kurt stroked a hand through Blaine's hair. Blaine leaned into the contact.

Elliott opened up his mouth to speak and then seemed to second guess himself. "What about you and Simon?"

"What  _about_ me and Simon?"

"It's not fair to him to be canoodling with another sub."

"We're not  _canoodling_! I'm just mentoring him until we figure out what he needs."

"And yet you won't let him try out different Doms to find out what he likes?"

"Fuck off, El. I'm going to get us drinks." Kurt stormed off to the bar, leaving Blaine alone with Elliott.

"You shouldn't criticize what Kurt's doing," Blaine said, speaking up for the first time. "He was here for me when no one else was. I'm perfectly happy right now with the way things are."

"But you do realize this is temporary, right?"

Blaine tilted his head in confusion.

"Kurt's only helping you until he finds you another Dom."

Blaine could feel his heartbeat starting picking up, his hands quickly becoming clammy. "He said he was going to break things off with Simon."

Elliott snorted. "Oh, you naïve little boy. You really have no idea what Kurt has with Simon, do you? You're much too young and inexperienced for someone like Kurt to have as a fulltime sub. He's just trying to find a way to let you down slowly."

"You're lying," Blaine said, feeling unbidden tears rise to his face.

"I wish I were, Little One. It's too bad, because I think you could have been good for him." Elliott reached out a hand as if to comfort him, but Blaine flinched away. "The offer to train you still stands," Elliott continued as Kurt walked up with his and Blaine's drinks.

"And as  _I_  said," Kurt stated, "he isn't in need of that right now. I'm more than capable of taking care of my sub."

"Oh, so he's  _your_  sub now?"

Kurt just glared at Elliott, placing a drink in Blaine's hand. "Drink up, Beautiful; we don't want you getting dehydrated."

Blaine complied wordlessly, a small smile rising to his face at Kurt's pleased expression at his obedience and also at the citrusy flavor of the drink Kurt had chosen for him.  _Kurt knows me so well_. It was why he was so desperate for Kurt to be his Dom.

Kurt turned his back on Elliott and smiled at Blaine. "Once we're finished with our drinks, I'd very much like to dance with you. Is that something you would enjoy?"

Blaine nodded, continuing to sip at his drink. He was so thankful that Kurt checked in with him as often as he did, especially when they were trying new things.

"Wonderful," Kurt responded, face lighting up. Kurt took a large gulp of the dark colored drink in his hand, shuddering slightly as it went down his throat. He swayed on his feet, perfectly in time with the music.

As the pounding music and flaring lights mixed with the alcohol in his system, Blaine felt lighter than he ever had before.

Kurt could tell when Blaine started floating in and out of subspace and soberness. He had a loopy grin plastered on his face and his eyes lazily scanned the room, not staying on one place for longer than a few seconds. Whenever his gaze would fall on Kurt, his smile would widen and his eyes would glow with happiness.

Kurt placed both of his hands on Blaine's cheeks and waited until Blaine focused on him. "Hey there, Beautiful. How are you feeling?"

Blaine blinked slowly at him before smiling brightly. "Wonderful." Blaine swayed back and forth with the music, eyes glazing over a bit as he lost himself to it once more.

Kurt gently took Blaine's empty glass from his hand and ushered him towards the dance floor. "Come on, Darling Boy, let's dance."

Blaine's face brightened once more. "I love dancing!" He bounced a little on the balls of his feet, excitement radiating off of him.

"I can see that." Kurt giggled at Blaine's enthusiasm. It was so refreshing being around someone who could get excited and find such enjoyment in the simple things. Blaine's body practically floated as he twisted and glided around Kurt and the other men on the dance floor. He had never been more beautiful to Kurt than this moment: so free and carefree with his expression and body. His face was bright with delight and wonder, but he always made sure to focus on Kurt every few moments, making sure he hadn't gotten too far away from him.

Blaine was absolutely stunning on the dance floor. All his deep-seeded worries and misgivings were blown away with the music. His body, held stiffly when he was anxious, was fluid and flowing. Kurt watched in awe as Blaine slipped and slid around the floor and between the dances, eyes closed as he took in the music. His body's movements were like a beacon to everyone else I the club; Kurt could see the hunger in everyone's eyes as they observed him and Kurt's body burned with a lust and possessiveness he'd never felt before. After a few songs, Blaine seemed to gain back his awareness and he made his way back to Kurt.

As the night wore on, Blaine became clingier than he ever had been before, arms draped around Kurt's neck and face pressed into his shoulders. He'd even managed to wedge a leg in between Kurt's so that they could be even closer. If a song he recognized came on, he'd start humming along, every so often he even burst out singing a lyric or two.

Seeing Blaine this way made Kurt breathless with happiness. It was hard to be anything else when faced with Blaine's bubbling energy. Simon never made Kurt feel this way. When he was with Simon, everything but the Dominance was pushed aside. It was more of a job than a truly enjoyable part of Kurt's life.

Maybe with Blaine, Kurt could merge together the parts of his life where he could be in a loving relationship that allowed him to exude his Dominance at the same time. Kurt allowed himself a few moments to hope before he tamped down on it. Kurt was already in a contract with someone else. He couldn't allow himself to dream about a life with Blaine until he figured it all out.

"I really liked how jealous you were when Elliott tried to steal me away," Blaine said, breath hot against Kurt's collar bone.

"Oh yeah?" Kurt asked, feeling a slight flutter in his belly.

Blaine nodded. "Mmm-hmm. It was really hot."

Kurt felt his toes curl up in his shoes. "Good to know."

"Yeah. I had to really restrain myself from just falling to my knees right then and there."

Kurt's body was wracked with a shiver, feeling arousal pool in his belly. "Blaine-"

"I know I'm not really your sub, but I don't care. I love you, Kurt. I love what you do for me. I love imagining what you'll do  _to_  me. I love how safe and exciting you make everything."

Through all their time together, Blaine had never once said that he loved Kurt, even just as a friend. While Blaine was very tactile, he was more reserved with talking about his feelings. "Yeah?"

Blaine squeezed his arms around Kurt's middle and rocked him back and forth. "Yup. I know you don't love me back, but _boy_  if you did? It'd be like winning the lottery." Blaine twisted Kurt around and dropped him into a dramatic dip. Effortlessly, he pulled him back up after a few seconds.

It took a moment for Kurt to catch his breath. He'd forgotten just how strong Blaine was. "Does that…." Kurt bit his lip. "Does it bother you that I don't…"

"Love me?" Blaine asked, eyes wide with openness and no judgment. He shook his head. "It did at first, but then I realized that having you as a best friend could be enough for now. I have time to find someone to love me back."

Kurt couldn't think of an appropriate response, so he simply pulled Blaine back against his body and started moving them to the beat once more. Kurt had no idea how he'd gotten lucky enough to have a guy like Blaine in his life. His view of life was so unjaded and open and optimistic and so very different from Kurt's. With every breath Kurt took, he wished he could have found Blaine before he'd met Simon. Except when Kurt really thought about it, Simon had been good for him.

**2007**

After a particularly…  _satisfying_  time with Elliott, Kurt bundled himself up into his winter gear. Elliott, still gloriously naked and covered in sweat, sauntered over to Kurt with a lazy smile. "Not that I'd ever turn you down if you stopped by, but I think I've done all I can for you."

Kurt paused, boot halfway onto his foot. "I agree, but is it wrong that I hate that fact?" Kurt sighed and sat down. "Everything makes sense and is easy with you."

Elliott brushed a strand of hair off Kurt's forehead and settled his hands on Kurt's shoulders. "And that's why it's time to move on. You don't want to spend your life stuck in a boring and simple relationship. You should be with someone who can keep things exciting and fresh, but also safe."

"You make it sound like finding someone that fits that criteria will be easy," Kurt said with a wry smile.

Elliott returned his smile. "True. That's why I bounce around so much. No one can keep me interested for longer than a few scenes… no insults intended."

"None taken," Kurt was quick to reply.

Elliott scratched the trail of hair below his belly button and stretched out his right leg. "If you'd like, I know a few unclaimed subs who might be interested in pursuing something with you."

"Yeah?"

Elliott nodded. "One of them is in desperate need for a Dom like you. I could set up a meeting if you'd like."

Kurt was about to answer when his cell phone buzzed.

 **From Blaine:** _Kurt – omg you'll never believe what happened. I got the solo!_

Kurt's smile was wide when he read Blaine's text. He and the boy had been communicating off and on since they'd met on the plane last year.

 **From Kurt:** _Congrats – I knew you could do it!_ He added a smiley face at the end.

"Who are you texting that's got you looking all smitten?" Elliott asked, sidling over and trying to peek at his phone.

Kurt pulled it away from him, hiding it against his chest. "I'm not smitten!" Kurt argued, feeling his face heat up. "He's just a friend."

"Uh huh," Elliott said with a chuckle, not looking like he believed him at all.

"He's 16 for fuck's sake!" Kurt said, voice breaking. "God, Elliott, I'm not some pervert!"

Elliott held up his hands in surrender. "Sorry. I didn't know. I wasn't accusing you of anything."

Kurt crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, either way, Blaine is a friend, nothing more." Kurt took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. "So, who's this sub you want me to meet?"

Kurt glanced down at his phone when it buzzed once more.

 **From Blaine:** _Thanks! I'll send you a video!_

Kurt could almost see Blaine's smile through the text. He could brighten Kurt's day with only a few words.

"His name's Simon. He's kind of new to the scene and I think you'd be the perfect Dom for him."

Kurt nodded, thinking it over.

"I'm not sure if this will change your decision, but Simon's already in a relationship, so he's not looking for that with you."

Kurt raised his eyebrow. "Is that common, claimed Doms and subs in relationships with other people?"

Elliott shrugged. "Not terribly common, but it happens. You can't help who you fall in love with and people like us can't survive without this outlet, so that sort of situation can work quite well."

Kurt's mouth twisted up as he gave that idea some thought. He'd never thought of the two sides being separate, but his thing with Elliott had gone without a hitch, so maybe it could work.

During his time with Elliott, Kurt tried a few scenes with some unclaimed subs in the area, but he found he didn't really have a taste for them. Domming a virtual stranger seemed more of a obligation instead of an enjoyment. He desperately wanted to be committed to someone so that they could explore everything and anything together.

Kurt's phone buzzed once more.

 **From Blaine:** _Would you be able to read through my admissions essay? I want to make sure I have the best chance with NYU._

 **From Kurt:** _Of course… but isn't two years a bit early?_

 **From Blaine:** _Can't be too prepared._

"When can you set up a meeting with Simon?" Kurt asked, frowning down at this stomach which had fluttered at his and Blaine's bantering. He was  _not_  falling for his 16 year old friend. There was too much wrong with that.

"Probably tonight. Would you like his number so that you can contact him directly?"

"That'd be great." Kurt handed his phone over to Elliott and waited as he entered the number. Kurt's nerves were suddenly afire at the idea that he would be meeting someone who he could reasonably enter into a contract with. Was Kurt really ready?

 **From Blaine:** _Thanks – you're the best!_

**Later That Night**

"Hello?"

"Hello, Simon. My name is Kurt."

Kurt liked the hitch in Simon's breath when he realized who he was talking to.

"Am I safe to assume that Elliott told you about me?" asked Kurt, unable to keep the smugness out of his voice.

"Yes," Simon responded, sounding breathless.

"I want to meet with you. Where is the place you'll feel most comfortable?"

He heard Simon take several deep breaths. "My house," Simon said, tone rising at the end as if he was asking for Kurt's permission.

"I can do that for you. What's your address?"

There was a pause from Simon's end of the line. "Are we doing this tonight?"

"I want to, but it's important that you're okay with it, too. How are you feeling right now?"

Simon let out what sounded like a giggle. "I'm sort of freaking out."

Kurt smiled. "That's normal. I can help you relax if you let me. I want you to listen to my breathing and mimic it as best you can. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes," Simon responded, only a little waver in his voice.

Kurt over-exaggerated his breathing, making sure Simon could hear it over the line. After 20 deep breaths, Kurt murmured, "Good job, Simon," and relished the delighted noise the boy made. "Now picture yourself in a place that makes you happy and relaxed…" Kurt gave Simon a few seconds to get himself there. "Whenever you're feeling upset or anxious, I want you to go to that place and breathe deeply like we just did. Each time it will get easier to the point that it will happen subconsciously. If you ever need guidance, I'm going to be there to help you. You won't be alone in those moments, not anymore."

Simon sighed. "You make it sound so wonderful."

"It  _can_  be wonderful if we're both comfortable enough for you to let go and allow me to take care of you."

"I can…I think I can do that."

"Wonderful. At any time tonight, if you feel uncomfortable, you can safe word and I'll leave, no questions asked. I'd like to take care of you, but if all you're comfortable doing is talking, that's okay, too."

He could almost feel Simon's relief over the line. He gave Kurt his address and after agreeing on a time, Kurt hung up.

Kurt looked at his phone once more, rereading his conversation with Blaine. He really liked Blaine, but they were too far apart in distance and age for them to be anything more than friends. The sooner he could get that through his head, the sooner he could try things out with Simon.

 **From Kurt:** _You're welcome. I'm going to be busy for a little while, so I'll take a look when I can._

**Even Later That Night**

Things were going surprisingly well with Simon. When Kurt had arrived at his house, Simon had been vibrating with energy and nerves.

Even with the palpable nervousness, Simon cut an attractive picture. He was extremely tall; he had to be at least 6'2" and he was of medium build: not too muscly or scrawny. He had a Germanic look about him: corn blond hair that fell across his baby blue eyes, full lips, a strong brow, and a prominent nose finished off his face.

"Are you going to let me in?" Kurt asked, raising his eyebrow when Simon simply stared at Kurt.

"Oh, god, sorry. Yes, yes, come in," Simon said, moving out of the way so that Kurt could enter. "If you didn't already know, I haven't done this before." Simon blushed and scratched the back of his neck.

Kurt smiled. "Don't worry about it. We all have to start somewhere."

Simon couldn't seem to take his eyes off Kurt. "Sorry for staring, but Elliott's description didn't do you justice. You're gorgeous."

"Thank you," Kurt replied, preening a little. "I do my best."

Simon smiled. "So, how do we do this?" He looked around his apartment as if it was the first time he was seeing it. "Would you like a drink?"

"I'm good, but thank you for offering." Kurt walked over to the nearest chair and gently sat down. "Kneel for me?" He indicated the floor in front of him. "Use a pillow," he was quick to add.

Simon nodded and quickly knelt down at Kurt's side. His hands hung at his side and then moved to his hips and they finally settled on top of his legs.

Kurt smiled proudly at him, murmuring "perfect" and settling more deeply into the chair.

"I don't like to do scenes without some guidelines. If you'd be open to it, I'd love to create a temporary contract with you so that we know what we both are going to need." Kurt guided Simon through a brief contract, working through needs, limits, and safe words. Simon was very open with his answers, seeming to get more relaxed as time went on. At one point, Simon leaned his cheek on Kurt's knee.

Once they were done, Kurt had Simon sign the document and Kurt signed below him, carefully folding it and setting it on the table in front of them. "I need you to get up and walk around a bit until you get more feeling in your legs and knees."

Simon complied, gingerly standing up and shaking out his limbs, waiting a few moments before making several trips around the room.

"How are you feeling, Simon?"

He smiled brightly. "Really relaxed…safe."

"Good. That's really good."

Kurt looked at the contract on the table, feeling a warmth fill his body at the realization that he'd found someone to commit to and get both of their needs met.

Kurt's eyes caught a picture on his right. As he looked closer, he saw that it was a picture of Simon and another man his age, smiling at each other with lovesick expressions. "May I ask who this is?" Kurt asked, pointing at the picture.

Simon looked to where Kurt was pointing and a shy smile rose to his face. "That's Drew, my boyfriend."

"And what does Drew think of all this?" Kurt spread his hands to encompass himself and their contract.

Simon's cheeks pinkened. "I told him about how I needed a Dom and he told me that wasn't something he felt he could give me. He was the one who introduced me to Elliott."

"How did he know Elliott?"

"They're in a band together. Anyway, Drew was very open to me finding someone to help me through all of this so that our own relationship would focus on us and our love."

"He sounds wonderful."

"He is." Simon bit his lip. "I was hoping we could use this apartment for our scenes; Drew and I have another place uptown where we spend most of our time."

"Is this your safe place?"

Simon's smile was bright.

"I think this should all work perfectly, then. We will of course have to talk about the finer details."

"What finer details?"

"There are going to be times where one of us is busy with something important. We need to draw lines so that our contract stays strictly professional. I've heard of too many Doms and subs falling for each other against their own wills. I refuse to be a homewrekcer."

Simon nodded emphatically.

"This will involve a lot of trust. You need to trust me to take care of your needs and not take advantage. And I need to trust that you'll be completely here when we're together. All worries and responsibilities and baggage get left at the door."

"I think I can do that."

"That's my Good Boy."

**2014**

Kurt smiled fondly as he remembered the first few times with Simon. He was so good and open and pure. Kurt had grown confident and surer of himself after every scene. Watching Simon fall into subspace and giving his complete trust to Kurt touched something primal in him. He almost lost himself to it, kind of like he gave himself over to the urges and became more like himself.

He felt so loose and free after those scenes. His performance at work improved and everyone commented on how good he was looking. Kurt never realized just how gratifying it would be to see Simon come out of his shell. Every week, he'd come to Kurt with new ideas and kinks he wanted to try, his confidence growing with each one.

Kurt was brought back to the present by the sensation of Blaine mouthing at his collarbone through his shirt. Blaine's eyes were riveted with the sight across the room of Elliott on his knees with his hand up the skirt of a girl with a peacock blue tube top. Elliott's mouth was kissing up and down her stomach, his tongue dipping into her belly button on every other pass.

"Is exhibition a kink of yours?" Kurt asked, watching Elliott taking the girl apart quite impressively.

Blaine raised wide eyes to meet Kurt's and shook his head.

Kurt nodded. "I'm the same, but I've found a little voyeurism never hurts anyone." Kurt returned his gaze to Elliott and watched with interest as the girl sucked Elliott's slick fingers into her mouth and rubbed teasingly at the bulge in Elliott's pants with a wicked grin.

"Is he bi?" Blaine asked, unable to tears his gaze away.

Kurt shook his head. "He doesn't believe in labels; he prefers being open to everything. At best, I'd classify him as a pansexual Switch."

Blaine nodded, finally looking back at Kurt. "Do you think you could take me home?"

"Of course, Darling Boy." Kurt hurried them over to the bar to pay their tab and then ushered Blaine outside.

* * *

**Reviews are like oxygen :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your patience. The new chapter is finally here! I'm going to do my best to post these chapters more regularly, but I have a few surgeries/procedures coming up that will have me down for the count for a while, so I can't promise anything. Thank you to everyone who sent kind words and reviewed and asked me how I was doing - every single one of you is appreciated. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

 

**2014**

The walk home was… interesting to say the least. Blaine was still tipsy and he clung to Kurt like a limpet, face pressed into his neck and shooting hot, wet air down into his shirt. Several times, Kurt had to stop Blaine's wandering hands from sneaking into his shirt. "I liked that club. I could live in that club. I could drink and dance and make art and help people," Blaine rambled, one arm flailing out and nearly smacking into a passerby.

"Uh huh," Kurt said with a laugh, grabbing his hand so that he wouldn't injure himself. "Well, I think we have a pretty good thing going at our apartment, don't you?"

Blaine frowned, eyes opening as wide as they could go and faced Kurt. "Absolutely," he said, tone serious and he looked sad. "I didn't mean I wanted to move out. I can stay, can't I?"

Kurt almost laughed at Blaine's devastated expression, but he knew in Blaine's semi-inebriated state that it would make things worse. "Of course you can stay."

Blaine looked relieved, but there was still a pained quality to his expression. "Because Elliott said you were trying to let me down easy so that you could be with Simon. I don't want you to leave me alone," Blaine admitted softly, voice full of despair. He curled his body into himself, as if he was trying to take up as little space as possible.

Kurt gasped softly, heart breaking over this beautiful boy, his best friend. "I'm never going to leave you, Beautiful. No matter what happens with me and Simon, I promise that you're always going to have me. You're my best friend; nothing's going to change that."

Blaine's lower lip quivered. "What if just being your friend isn't enough anymore?"

"Oh, Sweetie," Kurt cooed, pulling them both into a grassy area near them, drawing Blaine into his arms, and stroking softly up and down Blaine's back. "I can't even begin to imagine how hard all this is for you."

"Why can't you just pick me? I'd be so good for you." Blaine dropped to his knees and placed his palms on Kurt's thighs. "I'll do anything you say. I'll be the perfect sub. Please, Sir, please…" Tears dripped down Blaine's cheeks.

Kurt bit his lip. The way Blaine was presenting himself to Kurt was tempting. Kurt was certain that, if he wasn't committed to Simon, he'd collar Blaine right that second. He could picture the smoothness of the black leather with a bright silver buckle in the front; he could almost feel it in his hands.

Kurt's hands twitched as he placed them under Blaine's armpits and hauled him up. "You're going to get your pants dirty," he huffed, glancing down at the pretty disgusting black marks on Blaine's kneecaps.

Blaine's face fell even more. "I can't stop screwing up," he lamented, dropping his head.

Kurt sighed. "That's not… Why don't we go home so we can talk about this? You're not screwing anything up."

Blaine looked back up at Kurt with a flicker of hope on his face.

"What say we grab a taxi so that we can get there quicker?"

Blaine nodded and the lingering sadness faded into a more content expression when Kurt grabbed his hand, stroking his thumb up and down the back of it.

It only took a few minutes to flag a cab and soon they were being whisked toward their apartment.

"You were so good for me tonight," Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear, curling an arm around him. "They couldn't keep their eyes off of you."

"I don't care about anyone but you," Blaine confided, as if it was a secret, trailing off into humming, swaying back and forth with a dopey smile on his face. He watched the streetlights reflect off the window as they sped down the street.

"Did you have a nice time, Darling Boy?"

Blaine turned to face Kurt, smile widening across his face. He nodded, bouncing lightly in his seat. "I had a  _great_  time," he said emphatically.

"I'm glad." Kurt put his hand on Blaine's upper thigh and squeezed lightly. "We'll have to go back again sometime."

They both fell into silence, watching the buildings pass by them. It wasn't long before the taxi arrived at their apartment. Kurt pulled out his wallet and handed the driver his card.

Blaine watched the interaction with interest, plucking at his bowtie absentmindedly.

Once the cab driver handed his card back, Kurt pocketed his wallet and exited the cab, waiting for Blaine to exit and shutting the door behind him.

Blaine curled himself up into Kurt's side, causing Kurt to smile as his heart swelled with warmth. Kurt used his other hand to open the lobby door. The doorman nodded to them and Blaine saluted him with a little giggle. Kurt shook his head and ushered Blaine forward. Thanking God that they had an elevator, he stepped them both inside and pushed the button for the seventh floor.

He jumped slightly when he felt Blaine's hand slip into his own and squeeze. Kurt tried his best to ignore the tingles that ran up his arm at the contact, but the second he met Blaine's hungry gaze, they multiplied tenfold.

Kurt's eyes zeroed in on Blaine's lips, his tongue peeking out and wetting his lips. The urge to kiss Blaine washed over him, but he was interrupted by the elevator's doors opening. More and more often Kurt had been tempted to turn his relationship with Blaine more into a more physical, romantic one, but he couldn't. Blaine was his friend, his best friend, and he refused to screw that up. Dating him would confuse it all, especially with his commitment to Simon. Kurt's head and heart couldn't handle that. Better to keep it all separate and platonic. Blaine needed a boyfriend who could love him with his whole heart and he needed a Dom who could be his completely. Kurt couldn't be either of those for Blaine.

* * *

 

_Kurt stepped up to the bar, head turning towards the dance floor as he waited for the bartender. It didn't even take a second to locate Blaine: his body swayed and twisted and serpentined through the bodies around him, eyes closed and head tilted back as he lost himself to the music. Kurt was startled out of his staring by Elliott._

" _He really is gorgeous; a perfect sub for whoever is lucky enough to be his Dom," Elliott observed, taking a sip of his drink._

 _Kurt bit back the possessiveness flaring up in his body, even though everything in him wanted to declare that Blaine was_ **his**   _sub._

" _You're not being fair to either of them, Simon or Blaine," Elliott elaborated._

" _Save it," Kurt grumbled._

" _No," Elliott said, frowning. "You need to get this through your thick skull. What you're doing isn't right. You're not taking care of Simon properly. Have you even talked to him since all this started? You committed to being his Dom and here you are at a club pseudo-Domming someone else. Plus," Elliott continued, interrupting Kurt's protest. "You're just being cruel to Blaine." Elliott glanced over at Blaine where he was grinding up against a giggling, very drunk sub. "He's completely new to the scene and desperate to be someone's sub and what do you do? You stake a claim on him, which isn't even your right, and you stop every other Dom from even having a chance of actually fully committing to him. It's cruel and, frankly, it's unsafe practice. I didn't take you under my wing to end up with you acting this way."_

_Kurt's heart hurt at the disappointment in Elliott's tone._

" _You have to make a decision and let one of them go. Just remember that you chose to commit yourself to Simon and that's not something to take lightly."_

_With that being said, Elliott stepped away from the bar and made his way to the middle of the dance floor, joining seamlessly with Blaine and the crowd of dancers around him._

_Kurt frowned. Elliott was right, damn him. Kurt had a difficult decision ahead of him. In the meantime, Kurt would be the best friend and Dom that Blaine needed._

* * *

 

As Kurt carefully toed off his shoes, he heard a bang from behind him. He whipped his head around. Blaine had apparently lost his balance while removing his own shoes; his hand was pressed against the wall, barely supporting his quickly drooping body. Kurt sighed, a fond smile on his face as he moved towards Blaine.

"Oh, Darling Boy," Kurt cooed, biting his lip to hold back his laugh as he reached out to steady him. "Let's get you to bed, huh?"

"Mmm," Blaine responded, draping his body over Kurt's and snuggling into him. "Yes, please."

Kurt chuckled breathlessly. "Okay, Sweetheart. I need you to stay awake while I clean you up, all right?"

Blaine perked up at that; it was a request close enough to a command to warrant his undivided attention. "Yes," Blaine responded, straightening up slightly.

Kurt felt his heart flutter and pride flood his veins. "Good Boy."

A smile shone over Blaine's face and his hand slid its way over Kurt's ribs to his hips.

Kurt led them to the bathroom, turning on their shower before stripping them both of their clothes. Blaine was still swaying on his feet, but his eyes seemed more focused than before. Blaine's eyes skimmed down Kurt's body, taking in every dip and curve; Kurt could practically feel the gaze heat his skin.

When Blaine's gaze finally met Kurt's, a shudder went through him at the intensity. Blaine sucked in a sharp breath and lowered himself to his knees. Blaine's hands landed softly on his thighs and he ducked his head in submission.

Kurt couldn't stop himself from resting a hand on Blaine's head and softly scratching through his curls. A smile rose to Blaine's face and he leaned into the touch. "The water should be warm enough, Beautiful. Get inside and wait for me."

Blaine was quick to comply, standing up and pulling back the curtain so he could step inside. Kurt took a moment to pull in some steadying breaths, trying to calm down the part of him that was screaming for possession of the gorgeous boy in the shower, the boy who'd fallen to his knees for Kurt, the boy who Kurt was terrified he was falling for.

When he felt sufficiently calmed, he slid into the shower behind Blaine, stopping himself from reaching out toward the shower-slicked skin in front of him.

Blaine was standing obediently in the center, the water wetting down his curls over his forehead and the heat of it reddening the tops of his shoulders, the apple of his cheeks, and the tips of his ears. He looked younger and more vulnerable than Kurt had ever seen him before. "Turn around," Kurt ordered, grabbing the shampoo and squeezing a healthy amount into his palm. He let his gaze wander down to Blaine's ass.

Kurt had spent many a night imagining what it would feel like in his hands and now he had every right to touch, he knew Blaine would let him do anything when he was in this state, but something made Kurt hesitate. Blaine wasn't actually  _his_. It wouldn't be right to start something with Blaine until he had everything figured out. Besides, Kurt wasn't sure he could keep his heart out of it all and he wasn't prepared to add love into all this mess.

Kurt sighed and raised his gaze back up to Blaine's hair and he meticulously and methodically lathered it up. Once he was sufficiently shampooed, Kurt ordered Blaine to tilt his head back so that he could rinse it all out. Blaine's body was like putty in Kurt's hands; it would be so easy to command Blaine to bend over and let Kurt have his way with him. Kurt's cock twitched with interest, but Kurt tamped down on that train of thought. None of this was about sex. Blaine didn't need a Dom to fuck him – that's not how Kurt needed to take care of him. He needed a Dom to focus on him and craft his submissive urges into a healthy commitment, not one who was apparently thinking only with his dick. Add to that, Blaine had never had sex before. Kurt didn't know if he'd be strong enough to be gentle with Blaine for their first time.

"Kurt?"

He was brought out of his mental berating by Blaine's tentative voice. He blinked several times, focusing on the boy in front of him. Blaine looked concerned.

"Are you okay? You looked a million miles away."

Kurt forced a smile to his face. "I'm fine. Thank you for asking. I'm just going to wash up really quickly and then we'll head to bed, okay?"

Blaine bit his lip and looked sheepish. "Could I maybe- would it be all right… Would you let me?" Blaine gestured to the shampoo and then Kurt's hair. "Please?"

Kurt sucked in a sharp breath and then nodded, not letting himself second guess the decision.

"Thank you," Blaine responded, tone suggesting that he'd been offered the greatest gift.

Kurt lowered himself into a crouch so that Blaine could have easier access to his hair. Kurt closed his eyes and gave himself over to the feeling of Blaine's fingers in his hair. Blaine was gentle with it all and Kurt felt like he was being worshipped, Blaine's fingers digging through his hair and scratching lightly at his scalp. Kurt's toes curled in pleasure and his mouth slackened, barely holding back a groan. This boy was going to be the death of him.

"That feels so good," Kurt said, tipping his head back even farther. "You're so good to me."

"Yeah?" Blaine asked, sounding pleased.

Kurt nodded. Blaine continued shampooing and rinsing out Kurt's hair in silence. Blaine finished up just as the water was running cold. Kurt stood up and turned to face Blaine, placing his hands on his shoulders and planting a kiss on his forehead. "Thank you, Darling Boy." He made quick work of shutting off the shower and toweling them both dry. "Go and put your pajamas on and go to bed. I'll make us a full, hot breakfast tomorrow, okay?"

Blaine nodded, smiling at Kurt a moment before complying with the gentlest smile. Kurt sighed…he was so screwed.

* * *

**As always, reviews make me smile and help me continuing writing :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit! I had no idea it had been so long since the last update of this story. I honestly thought it had only been a month or two, but 11 months?
> 
> I'm so sorry, guys. I hope you'll still stick around for this. I've got quite a few chapters left, probably in the range of 15-20 chapters if it all goes to plan. I promise to do my best to get them out much sooner than before. It's just work and home life don't lend themselves to long spans of writing time, hence the huge hiatuses.
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who reads and comments on my stories. It means the world to me.
> 
> Without further ado, here is the next chapter:

 

**2014**

Kurt didn't know what woke him up, but he found himself suddenly awake. It took him a few seconds to get his brain to work, but when he did, he noticed that he wasn't alone.

It didn't take long for Kurt to recognize who he was sharing his bed with: Blaine tended to snuffle in his sleep. His arms were octopussed around Kurt and his curls brushed Kurt's nose, causing him to crinkle it, lest he sneeze and wake Blaine up.

Kurt hadn't spent the night with Blaine in years. The last time had been after Blaine had broken up with Jason.

" _So, then she said that she'd never heard of him before!" Kurt said, laughing._

" _Oh my god, really?" Kevin said, eyes alight with humor. "That's so ballsy of her."_

" _Right? I couldn't believe that- hold on," Kurt said, pulling out his phone to accept the call. "Sorry, I have to take this." He slid the 'accept call' icon and held it up to his ear. "Hello?"_

"… _Hi," Blaine responded, sniffling, the sound putting Kurt on the alert._

" _What's wrong, sweetheart?"_

_He heard Blaine take a shaky breath. "It's over between Jason and me."_

" _Oh good; you ended it." After the whole kissing debacle, Kurt had tried to steer Blaine towards breaking up with Jason, especially after he'd told Blaine to fuck off, but obviously that's not the way it had gone._

" _Why would I…No,_ _ **he**_ _broke up with_ _ **me**_ _!" Blaine sobbed. "I told him I would try harder, and I did. I let him kiss me and… t-touch me, even though it all still didn't feel good. He-he said I could be his boyfriend again if I…if I blew him," Blaine whispered, sounding beyond embarrassed._

" _What the fuck?" Kurt bit out, feeling anger pool in his belly._

" _When I told him no, he called me this… this awful name and said that no one in their right mind could ever love someone like me."Blaine broke down after that, deep sobs echoing over the line._

" _Oh, Sweetheart," Kurt cooed, heart breaking over the sound of Blaine's devastated cries. "Are you at home?"_

_Blaine sniffled before responding, "Yes."_

" _I'll be right there. Get yourself into your comfiest clothes, sit yourself down on the couch with the fluffy green blanket, and I'll be there before you know it." Kurt nearly ran out the door, making it back to Blaine and his apartment in record time. He'd pulled Blaine into his arms, whispering as many comforting things as he could until Blaine's tears had dried, all the while wishing only the nastiest of punishments for the douchebag Jason who had broken Blaine's heart and demeaned him so awfully._

_After finishing their cups of cocoa, Kurt had announced that it was time for bed. It hadn't taken more than Blaine's puppy dog eyes and quiet whisper of, "I don't want to be alone," for Kurt to offer his to share his bed with Blaine for the night._

Back then, waking up next to Blaine hadn't been any different than the sleepovers he'd had with his friends back in High School. They'd gone about their lives as if nothing had changed, and certainly, nothing had. Now, though…After everything that had happened in the previous days with Blaine, though, the sensations in his body and thoughts in his head made it a million times more complicated.

Kurt shifted his body to lessen the pressure on his right arm and was surprised to feel hair under his fingers. He glanced down at Blaine and flushed. He couldn't be certain because of the blanket, but Blaine appeared to be completely naked.

Kurt took stock of his own appearance and was happy to note that he himself was wearing pajama pants. Kurt blew a lock of hair out of his face and settled more deeply into the bed. He really needed to figure out this thing with him and Blaine.

Kurt closed his eyes and took stock of everything. His head wasn't pounding, so he knew he wasn't hung over. He flexed his legs, toes to thighs, finally twisting his hips back and forth to try and bring feeling back into his limbs. In the process, he felt the fabric of Blaine's boxer briefs against his skin. _Not naked. That means we didn't have sex last night…probably._ That was a silver lining in what Kurt was dubbing "The Case Of How The Hell Blaine Ended Up In My Bed". He must have snuck in after Kurt had fallen asleep.

"Whazzuh?" he heard Blaine mumble, smacking his lips and sitting up jerkily.

"Morning, Gorgeous," Kurt responded with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

Blaine squinted his eyes, rubbing at his crinkled forehead. "My head hurts," he whined.

"That's what downing a Sex on the Beach and then an Irish Car Bomb will do to you," Kurt said, raising his eyebrow. "I am still not happy that you drank that without asking my permission."

Blaine frowned. "Elliott bought it for me. I thought it was okay because he's your friend."

"But is he your _Dom_?"

Blaine's face fell into a repentant expression. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't be so harsh." Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms and pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. "We haven't set up any rules or written up a contract. I have no right to punish you for something I have no right to enforce."

"But I'm your-"

"My sub? No, not really. I'm doing my best to help you through all this, but I'm not actually your Dom… not yet," Kurt couldn't help but add on.

Blaine, who had looked devastated, seemed to perk up a little at the last bit, at the offer of a future. "But maybe soon?"

"Blaine, we've talked about this; you have to give me time to sort this all out."

Blaine nodded, dropping his head. "I'm sorry for pushing."

Kurt cupped his cheek in his hand. "It's okay." He pulled Blaine close and softly kissed his cheek. "We'll get through this together."

Blaine nodded and wiped his face hard with his hands. He looked exhausted, his eyes blinking slowly as he grumbled low in his chest. When Kurt attempted to stand up, Blaine made grabby hands, a quiet whine bubbling out of him.

Kurt smiled. "Don't worry, Sweetheart; I'm not leaving you." He gestured to the bathroom. "I'm going to grab you some Advil and water." Kurt carded his fingers through Blaine's hair. "I won't be more than a few steps away."

"Okay," Blaine replied softly, looking up at Kurt through his eyelashes.

Kurt stroked his hair one more time before standing up. "After you're feeling a little better, you can help me make breakfast."

Kurt opened and shut the medicine cabinet as softly as he could while he located a glass and the bottle of Advil. When Kurt entered the bedroom once more, it was to the adorable sight of Blaine curled up around Kurt's pillow, sound asleep.

He set down the glass on the bedside table and crawled into bed. Blaine's lips were parted with light snores and Kurt was hard pressed to stop himself from bending down to see just how soft they were. Kissing Blaine would start them down a steep path and Kurt didn't think either of them could handle it if things didn't work out.

Instead, Kurt placed his hands on Blaine's shoulders and gently shook him. "Wakey wake, Sleepyhead."

Blaine groaned, but dutifully opened his eyes. Ever the obedient sub.

"Good Boy." Kurt reached back for the pills and cup and held them up for Blaine, leaving the command to speak through his gestures.

Blaine seemed to understand, accepting both and swallowing the pills down.

Kurt took the cup back and smiled at him. "Hopefully it'll kick in soon."

"Thank you for taking care of me."

"Even if it wasn't part of being your Dom, I'll always want to take care of you."

"Because of how much small and younger I am than you?" Blaine asked with a bright smile.

"Because of how much smaller and younger you are," Kurt repeated back, chuckling. "I say that a lot, don't I?"

Blaine nodded. "I don't mind. I like that about us."

"Me too," Kurt admitted. Kurt let his gaze take in the boy before him. Somehow, before his eyes, Blaine had grown into a very handsome young man. Gone were the chubby cheeks of youth, and in their place was a chiseled face that still showed the depth of his heart, and included with that was a toned body that Kurt couldn't help but drool over.

Before he could make a fool of himself, he stood up from the bed once more and started rooting through his closet. It only took a minute before he found what he was looking for. "We're going to have to discuss how you ended up in my bed."

Blaine's cheeks colored and he dropped his gaze to the bedspread, picking at a loose thread. "I was lonely," he said, his tone bashful.

Kurt had noticed over the years how tactile Blaine was, especially when he was upset or feeling vulnerable. There was many a time that Kurt would catch Blaine reaching out to him or curling up with him… not that Kurt minded. Blaine was extremely comfy when they were cuddling. "It's okay, Blaine. I'm not mad." Kurt walked back over to him, put his hand under Blaine's jaw, and tilted his face up. "You're always welcome to seek me out for comfort whenever you need it. In the future, you're going to have to ask for permission. No worries, though; I'll never say no when you're truly in need. Okay?"

Blaine nodded, wide-eyed. "Of course."

Kurt pulled on the shirt in his hands, shimmying out of his pajama pants and sliding into some black jeans. Without looking back at Blaine, he said, "Get dressed. I won't have you injuring yourself by getting your chest splattered while we're cooking."

He heard the bedsheets rustle as Blaine stood up quickly and exited the room. Kurt stepped over to his bathroom to finish up with his morning routine. He paused when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. There was a dopey, lovesick quality to my smile and a softness to his expression that he wasn't used to seeing.

Normally when he looked in the mirror, he was confronted with a colder glare in his eyes, his mouth tight and his jaw clenched. It had been a long time since he'd seen himself so carefree and… happy.

Looking himself over once more, Kurt pulled out his products and started cleansing his skin and working his hair into a manageable coif. After several minutes of work, Kurt felt satisfied with his appearance. He was just about to put everything away when his phone buzzed with an incoming text.

Glancing down at his phone, his fluttering heart felt like it dropped to his feet. It was from Simon.

_Just checking to see if we were still on for tonight._

"Shit," Kurt swore under his breath, thumb hovering over the keyboard. Simon had sent " _caterpillar_ " last night, his code for his need for Kurt to come over for a scene. Part of the contract was that Kurt would do everything in his power to make it over there within 24 hours. It was a major part of the contract that they'd created. Simon had a lot of people in his life fall through for him and part of taking care of Simon involved Kurt being there for him when he was in need.

Normally, Kurt would respond to Simon's text with " _butterfly_ " as his acknowledgement of both Simon's need and Kurt's promise to be there for him.

**2007**

Simon read through the contract one more time, pausing at a portion right at the top of the second page. "Are you sure about this?" Simon asked, pointing to their code words.

"The words?"

Simon shook his heads. "No, I like the words." He used his finger to point at the sentence right after the bit about "butterfly".

" 'Anytime the word "caterpillar" is used, the Dom must respond "butterfly" and make haste to take care of his sub.' There is nothing wrong with that statement."

"It's really… everything to me to know that you're committing to being there for me any time I'm in need, but I think we need to be realistic about this."

Kurt frowned. Simon was a sweet, very obedient sub who Kurt could see a bright future with, but he couldn't help feeling angry that he was questioning Kurt's decision. "Excuse me, but I don't believe I gave you permission to question my grasp of the situation."

Simon blanched, but his eye retained a firey glow. "This contract determines my role in this commitment, so I have every right to question a part of it, and to point out that I think it'd be in both our best interests to make sure every item is up to our standards and abilities."

Kurt had the decency to feel sheepish at his outburst and he scrubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. This is my first time doing this whole thing for real."

Simon smiled. "We're in the same boat, then… obviously."

Kurt smiled back and re-examined the contract. "I'm sorry for snapping. What do we need to change?"

Simon's smile grew at the mention of 'we'. "I don't think it's realistic to expect you to drop everything every single time I need you. There are going to be times when you're working or far enough away that it's not reasonable to expect you to be there."

Kurt eyes widened, realizing for the first time hard it would be to rush right over to Simon whenever he beckoned. "True, but what kind of Dom would I be if I wasn't there for you when you needed me?"

Simon twisted his mouth, looking as uncertain as Kurt felt. "Maybe we should ask Elliott?"

Kurt huffed. "That's just what I need, to go running back to Elliott." He groaned and pulled out his phone, tapping in Elliott's number and pressing send.

Kurt explained their situation to Elliott, who was very sympathetic and recommended that they go to the club together and pick a Dom that they'd both be comfortable calling on whenever Simon needed a Dom and Kurt couldn't be there for him.

"This happens a lot more than you'd realize, Kurt. There's no need to be embarrassed or feel like less of a Dom. Hell, I'd be willing to step in if there's no other choice."

With Elliott's support, they found a few Doms that Simon felt he could be comfortable with if Kurt wasn't able to be there for him, including Elliott himself. They adjusted their contract accordingly as well. If there was ever an unavoidable reason that Kurt couldn't be there for him, he'd send back "cocoon" and immediately arrange for a different Dom to be there for Simon.

**2014**

Kurt felt his like the worst human ever as he reread Simon's text. Here was a call for help from the sub he'd chosen to commit himself to and Kurt had been spending his time with Blaine, the sub he'd never thought he could find.

Kurt bit his lip. It was his duty as a Dom to be there for Simon, but he couldn't help but feel a pull towards Blaine more powerful than anything else in his life. Almost without thinking, Kurt was scrolling through his contacts, finally landing on Derek's name.

He hesitated for only a second before he pressed "send".

"Hello?" Derek asked, answering after only two rings.

"Hey, Derek. You wouldn't be free to be Simon's Dom for me today, would you? My, uh, my grandma's sick, so I… yeah…" Kurt cringed. _Why the hell did I have to add that in? I always make things a million times worse when I try to lie. Now my grandma's probably going to die. I'm the worst._

"Sure thing, Kurt," Derek replied. "Keep me updated if you need me more than today. Give your grandmother my best."

"Will do. Thanks."

Kurt's hands were shaking when he hung up, and his heart was beating erratically. His stomach was tied up in knots, so upset over how he'd lied to get out of his responsibility as Simon's Dom.

"Kurt?"

Kurt's head shot up, meeting Blaine's gaze as he stood outside of Kurt's bedroom.

"Is everything okay?" Blaine looked uncertain, looking much younger than his age, even with the stubble darkening his jaw line and his biceps bulging out the ends of his shirt sleeves.

"Yeah," Kurt said, typing out " _Cocoon – Derek will be there soon"_ to Simon before turning off the screen and setting it on his dresser. Kurt took a deep breath, trying to set aside his guilt and worries over his lies and neglect of Simon. It might have been the wrong choice as a Dom, but he chose Blaine and he needed to fully commit to him and their time together today. He pushed away everything and focused on the man in front of him.

"Good," Blaine responded, biting his lip as the corners of his mouth turned up in a shy smile.

Kurt couldn't stop himself from walking over and stroking his fingers along the length of Blaine's biceps, heat pooling in his belly at the sound of Blaine's gasp and the shiver that racked his body. "You look amazing, sweetheart," he said, learning forward, pressing a kiss to Blaine's forehead.

Blaine leaned toward him when Kurt pulled away, blinking his eyes open with an expression of wonder on his face.

"Thank you for asking how I was doing."

"I wasn't sure if I should," Blaine responded, dropping his gaze to his feet. "… you know, since you're my Dom."

Kurt tilted Blaine's chin up so he could look at him again. "Unless I've specifically asked you not to do something, you should never be afraid of doing something wrong, because I'm always going to protect you, even from honest mistakes. But this? Asking me how I'm doing? I'll always be okay with that. Not many people realize that Doms can make mistakes, too. We feel just as deeply as Subs and sometimes we need an open ear to talk to. So, thank you, Darling Boy." Kurt pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's cheek. "Now, why don't we go make some breakfast?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was worth the wait. Please stick with me if you can. I'm working as hard as I can to get the rest of this story out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? So soon? What can I say, I got inspired.

 

**2014**

This morning had been the best that Blaine had had in a long while. He'd woken up with Kurt and been taken care of as he struggled through his massive hangover. Blaine could still feel the kisses Kurt had pressed against his skin, bringing a huge smile to his face.

After making a hearty breakfast together, Kurt had wandered over to the living room, settled into their couch, and pulled open a magazine. Blaine had followed him in, looking uncertainly between the couch and the chair, wanting desperately to cuddle up with Kurt, but unsure if he could ask that of Kurt.

Kurt, feeling Blaine's eyes on him, looked up at him. "What do you need, Sweetie?"

Blaine bit his lip, worrying that Kurt would get mad at his request. "Well…" Blaine's eyes fell to the area in front of Kurt for a few seconds before meeting Kurt's gaze again.

Kurt tsked when Blaine remained silent. "One of these days, I'll find a way to convince you that you're always welcome to ask for whatever you want." He patted the couch. "Join me while I read?"

Blaine scurried over before Kurt could change his mind. He sighed in contentment as Kurt pulled him flushed against his body, arms around Blaine's waist. He rested his chin over Blaine shoulder, opening the magazine.

Blaine had never felt safer and more loved than that moment, snuggled into the couch with Kurt's arms wrapped around him, his fingers rubbing absently across his belly. Blaine settled his body more firmly back against Kurt's, flipping the page in the magazine when Kurt nodded that he was finished reading the article.

"She really has worn more flattering pieces," Kurt murmured, nodding his head toward the picture on the right hand page.

Blaine made a noise of agreement. He glanced at the two articles on the pages; not finding anything of extreme interest, he instead focused on the soothing feeling of Kurt's fingers continuing to stroke his abdomen.

Kurt had never been terribly demonstrative or affectionate before all this; it was heartwarming to realize Kurt was making an effort to be more physical for Blaine, knowing he craved it. Or maybe Kurt could feel how natural it was to just be close to one another and it didn't require any effort at all.

Blaine smiled when Kurt nuzzled into his shoulder and huffed a laugh. "You're not reading this, are you?" he accused.

"No," Blaine admitted without hesitation.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew _you'd_ want to read it."

He felt Kurt shake his head with another breathless chuckle. "You are precious, my Darling Boy."

Blaine's heart swelled at the adoration in Kurt's voice.

"But," Kurt continued. "If we're going to try and make this work, we have to make this more of a partnership."

"Yeah?"

Kurt nodded. "Part of my job is to make sure your needs are being met, too."

"Did you ever think," Blaine asked, twisting so that he could meet Kurt's gaze, "that I like making you happy? That I _need_ to make sure you can achieve everything you've ever wanted or deserved?"

Kurt's eyes widened with wonder and surprise. He looked at Blaine like he'd never seen anyone like him before. After a moment, he shook his head. "I'm fairly certain reading a half page article on 'choosing the correct purse' isn't the great dream you're referring to," he joked, inclining his head to the magazine on his lap.

Blaine smiled back at him. "Probably not, but the thought still counts," Blaine said cheekily.

Kurt pinched his side, face scrunching up in a smile when Blaine squeaked and flailed. "Ticklish are we?" he asked with a giggle.

Blaine frowned, pressing his hands into Kurt's so that they'd settle back against his stomach. "Why do I feel you now have something to use against me?"

Kurt's body stiffened behind Blaine and he moved around enough so that he could look Blaine in the eye, his face completely serious. "I will never take advantage of you, Blaine. You get that right?"

Blaine nodded, stunned to silence.

"Tomorrow, we're going to work on a contract so that you know exactly what to expect out of this. Just know that I'm going to take care of you. You will never be harmed or made to feel unsafe while you're with me."

Blaine could feel the brightest smile rise to his face, feeling such a sense of _right_ come over him. "That sounds perfect."

"Good," Kurt said shifting Blaine so that he could hold him close.

They spent the next thirty minutes perusing the magazine, Blaine letting himself slip into a calm, almost out of body lull.

As he drifted in and out, his mind returned to one of the more recent dilemma's he'd been facing. Blaine had always been a secret romantic, desperate to experience the type of kiss described in romance novels (Star Wars fan fiction if he was being truly honest), but he'd had zero success so far. But maybe, just maybe, with Kurt it could be different.

Blaine smiled as Kurt nuzzled once more into the hair at the back of his neck. In this moment, Blaine had nowhere else he'd want to be and nothing else he wanted to do other than being held tightly in Kurt's arms… well, maybe there was something else he wanted to do.

On the last pass of Kurt's nose and lips along Blaine's shoulder, he turned his face, meeting Kurt halfway in a sweet kiss. After a few seconds, Blaine felt more than heard Kurt's gasp of surprise against his mouth, hand spasming against his stomach.

Blaine barely had time to register just what kissing Kurt felt like before it was over. An unbidden whine rose from Blaine's throat when Kurt pulled away from the kiss. When Blaine's eyes fluttered open, he saw Kurt's horrified expression.

" _Nononononono_ ," Kurt cried, eyes still wide with shock. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Why not?" Blaine asked, heartbroken at the turn of events.

Kurt swallowed deeply, pulling himself away from Blaine's body and putting space between them. "I'm someone else's Dom. I don't believe in cheating on my subs; it's a large portion of my contract. I can't… I can't give myself to you when I'm committed to someone else. I can't…" Kurt licked his lips, finally meeting Blaine's gaze. "I can't fall in love with you when you're not really _mine_."

 _Love_ … did Kurt actually see himself as being able to fall in love with Blaine? That would be everything Blaine could ever hope to have in this world. "But I am yours," Blaine responded back. "Only yours."

Kurt's eyebrows lowered in sympathy. "I know… but _I'm_ not _yours_. I can't… I shouldn't have led you on when I haven't taken care of things with Simon." Kurt brushed his thumb over Blaine's lower lip. "There's so much I want to teach you, make you into the perfect sub that I know is inside of you… teach you to ask instead of taking, to let go instead of holding onto control, to be worshipped by someone who is committed to you and who'll think about your care above everyone else's."

Blaine knew his eyes must be shining with tears. "I want that with you."

"I know, Beautiful Boy." Kurt pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's forehead. "I promise that I'll meet with Simon soon so that I can work it all out."

 _Oh, god. What if… what if Kurt left him for good?_ "And you'll come back to me?" Blaine couldn't hide the desperation in his voice.

Kurt frowned. "He's my sub, Blaine. I have to handle this delicately. If I withdraw from our contract and things don't work between you and me, I'll have lost him forever. Things are good between Simon and I, and I'm happy. I can't make this decision lightly."

Blaine could feel the tears roll down his cheeks, breath hitching in his chest. "I get it…" he sniffled. "He's more important than me."

Kurt frowned and shook his head. "That's most certainly not true. You are… you are probably the most important person to me, Darling Boy. I care more about you than I've ever cared for anyone else in my life. I just… had I known you could be my sub, I never would have committed to Simon. But I did commit and I have to honor that. But listen to me," Kurt said, cupping Blaine's face in his hand. "I will always be here for you and until I come to a decision, I will strive to be the Dom that you deserve. You and me, though… this? Kissing? We can't do this right now. I refuse to break your heart."

 _But you already are_. Blaine couldn't help but think. _If you don't pick me, I don't know how I'll survive._

Kurt, obviously certain that Blaine understood what he was trying to say, pulled Blaine into his arms.

Blaine latched onto him, terrified that if he let him go, he'd be giving him up to Simon, yet he couldn't help but feel a little angry. Kurt had been leading him on with the touching and checking him out these last few days and it was making Blaine terribly confused. Why couldn't Kurt just make up his mind already? Maybe… it hurt too much to think, but maybe Elliott was right and Kurt was just stringing him along? What if Kurt did choose Simon? That'd ruin their friendship for sure and, fuck Blaine would not only be Domless and friendless, but homeless as well. _What the fuck was he going to do?_

* * *

Kurt bit his lip, an idea coming to him that maybe wasn't the best decision right now, but something he felt he needed to do. "I'm sorry, Blaine, but I have a prior arrangement with Simon for tonight."

"What?" Blaine asked, face falling even further.

"I don't know how long I'll be gone for, but I wanted you to know. Do you think you'll want someone to stay with you?"

Blaine frowned. "What, like a babysitter?"

Kurt sighed. "No, someone like Elliott. I don't know if you should be alone so soon, especially after what just happened."

Blaine snorted. "Like you care."

"You don't have to be such a child about this, Blaine. I'm sorry that I can't just start dating you or commit to being your Dom. I have some tough choices ahead of me that deserve careful consideration and time. I have to make sure you're both taken care of no matter the decision. Part of that is going to be with Simon tonight, okay?"

"Like you expect me to be okay with you going out with some other guy and being his Dom? You have to see how absurd that is, Kurt."

"Enough! Now, do you need me to call someone or not?"

Blaine's eyes lit up with defiance. "I'm not a baby, Kurt. I can take care of myself for a few hours." With that, he stormed off to his room, slamming the door behind himself, Kurt's heart breaking slightly with it.

Kurt pulled out his phone, sending Derek a quick text letting him know he was able to take care of Simon himself, sending off another reply to Simon letting him know he was on his way to the club and to meet him there in exactly a half hour.

* * *

Seeing Simon for the first time starting this… _thing_ with Blaine was odd. Simon had gone straight to his knees on the club's floor, breathing out "Thank you, Sir, I missed you more than I can say," as he gripped onto Kurt's knees with white knuckled hands.

Kurt took a deep breath, neck arching back as he tried to keep tears from falling out of his eyes. He'd been a horrible Dom to Simon and there was no excuse. Kurt centered himself, letting his basic instincts take over. He looked down at Simon, letting a frown settle on his mouth. "Just what do you think you're doing, Boy?"

Simon's body stiffened, looking up at Kurt with confusion before realization dawned on him. "Sir, I'm so… I didn't… I should have remembered," he finally finished, dropping his hands and an embarrassed flush rising up his neck.

"Should have remembered what," Kurt prompted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That I don't get to touch you without permission," Simon said, tone forlorn. "I'm terribly sorry, Sir."

Kurt sighed, dropping his arms to his side. "It was wrong, but I should also apologize."

Simon's head whipped up, confusion in his wide eyes.

"I've been distant recently, and I'm sorry. I've been neglecting you."

Simon shook his head. "You've been busy; I can't always expect-"

Kurt squatted down and placed a hand on Simon's cheek. "I haven't been a good Dom to you. I'm going to make it up to you tonight, I promise."

Simon's smile had been breathtaking, a mixture of relief and pure happiness overtaking him.

Kurt immediately pulled Simon onto the dance floor. "Let's loosen up that tension," Kurt explained when Simon looked at him with a puzzled expression. Kurt was struck suddenly with an image of Blaine with that exact same expression from just the night prior and a shudder ran through him. This was not the time to be thinking of his other sub. Kurt pulled Simon closer and looped his arms around Simon's neck, pushing away all his worries and distracting thoughts so that he could focus entirely on his sub.

It didn't take too long for Simon's body to relax in Kurt's arms. "Feeling better?" Simon nodded, snuggling into Kurt's neck. After a few moments, he felt a tap his shoulder, Simon's signal that he had a question. Kurt pulled back far enough so that he could meet Simon's gaze. "Go ahead."

"May I kiss you, Sir?"

Kurt's heart stopped for a few seconds, beating painfully when it started back up. It was extremely rare for them to kiss outside the bedroom. Neither of them had a need for physicality other than sex in their commitment, Simon finding that with his boyfriend and Kurt with whomever he decided to share the night with. Maybe Simon and Drew were having problems, or worse, maybe he could feel Kurt pulling away. Kurt bit his lip, debating over it, wondering what real harm it could do when Simon tilted his head down slightly and gave him a hard kiss, hands gripping tightly into the back of Kurt's shirt, opening his mouth after a few seconds as he quickly tried to deepen the kiss.

Kurt pulled away slightly, trying to keep some distance as he tried to sort out his feelings. Simon was a remarkable kisser, the few times they'd made out during a scene had been extremely pleasant, but Kurt couldn't help but be brought back to the kiss he and Blaine had shared just this morning: It had been short, but so terribly sweet, setting off butterflies in his belly and twisting his heart up until Kurt nearly groaned with the exquisite pain of it.

Kurt finally pushed Simon away with a groan, needing to stop this before he lost his mind. "I'm sorry," Simon was quick to apologize, not noticing Kurt's own dilemma. "That was… that was too much," he said as sudden tears pooled in his eyes. "I shouldn't have… Drew and I had a fight and I just… I just wanted something good, but that wasn't right."

Kurt pulled Simon into his arms and soothed his hand down his back. "It's okay, Simon. It probably wasn't right, but I get it. We shouldn't do that again, but… I'm not going to punish you."

"But I forced myself on you."

"Everyone makes mistakes, myself included. Let's just both move on for now, okay?"

Simon still looked devastated, but he responded with a soft, "Okay. Would it be okay if I took a moment alone to call Drew?"

"Of course. Do whatever you need."

"Thank you."

Simon made for the exit, pulling out his phone with slightly shaking hands. Kurt, his own hands shaking as well, pushed a few locks off his forehead and let out a harsh breath. _What the hell had just happened?_

His mind was at war, cycling between disgust at himself for essentially cheating on Blaine, then telling himself that he and Blaine weren't in a real relationship, so it wasn't actually cheating, and finally more disgust at the fact that he'd been focusing on Blaine while he was with his actual sub.

Even though he knew he probably shouldn't, Kurt pulled out his phone with the plan of calling Blaine, stopping short when he saw the numerous unread texts. It seemed he'd been sending them rapid fire over the last few minutes.

**From Blaine:** _Do you know when you'll be coming back home?_

**From Blaine:** _For dinner_

**From Blaine:** _Not **that**_

**From Blaine:** _Well, maybe also that_

**From Blaine:** _Because I think I really need you_

**From Blaine:** _Bad_

**From Blaine:** _I'm sorry for acting like that_

**From Blaine:** _Forgive me?_

**From Blaine:** _And could you maybe come back to me?_

**From Blaine:** _Come back home*_

Finally, three minutes after that last text:

**From Blaine:** _Nevermind, you're obviously busy_

Kurt felt dread settle in his stomach as he read through the text, feeling Blaine's pain clearly through them. He was just about the call Blaine when he felt a tap at his shoulder. Kurt frowned at the interruption and whipped around to face the person responsible.

Elliott stood behind him with his hands raised in surrender. "Before you chew me out, there's a reason I interrupted you."

"What?" Kurt bit out, feeling the need to just ignore Elliott and call Blaine immediately.

"Simon's outside sobbing. What the fuck are you doing leaving him out there alone?"

Kurt felt anger bubble up inside of him. "Firstly, he asked for a moment alone, so that's _why the fuck_ I'm still inside. Secondly, I don't appreciate that tone."

Elliott looked mildly shocked, but stood his ground. "Yeah, well… have you told him about Blaine yet?"

Kurt frowned even further, crossing his arms over his chest. "No, but that's really none of your concern.

"It actually is my concern. Simon is a friend, as are you for that matter, and I don't want to see this thing ruined because of that boy."

" _That boy_ has a name and he is also my friend. I have to take care of him; you know that."

"I actually don't, Kurt. He's not actually your responsibility. You need to let him go so that he can find someone, too. Come on, Kurt. Be reasonable. I'm just trying to help you. We're friends, remember?"

"Well, maybe I don't want to be your friend anymore," Kurt bit out, stalking away from him. "Don't bother talking to me if we happen to cross paths again. I can handle this on my own."

With that, Kurt marched out, feeling pretty shitty at the hurt expression he saw on Elliott's face right before he'd left, but determined to not turn back and apologize.

When he stumbled upon Simon, he was curled up on the sidewalk, phone laying on the ground at his feet. "Simon?"

Simon blinked up at him through bloodshot eyes. "Drew's coming to get me. Could you stay with me until he gets here?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Kurt said, sitting down carefully beside him.

They sat together in silence until they heard feet rushing towards them. Simon threw himself into Drew's arms, nearly taking them both down. Kurt couldn't make out what they were saying, but he could tell they were making up. Finally, Drew looked down at Kurt after bundling up Simon into the cab Kurt had just noticed along the street. "I don't know exactly what happened tonight, but Simon's really shaken up about it. I think it might be best if you guys just… cooled it off a little with the… stuff? I'd really like to just be with my boyfriend for a while, you know?"

Kurt nodded, at a loss as to what to say. Finally, "You'll call me if he needs me?"

Drew's eyes narrowed, looking angry at the insinuation that he couldn't provide everything for Simon. "I think I can handle things for a while, thank you," he said, sounding anything but thankful. "I think you've done enough for now."

Kurt felt each word like a stab to the heart. He hadn't even been the one to start the kiss!

Drew sighed, looking fondly at Simon who was waiting for him in the car. "I love him, Kurt. He's my life. I know I can't be a Dom when he needs one and it pisses me off. I should be able to do that for him, but…" He looked back up at Kurt. "Thank you for being there when he needs that. I just- please let me have him to myself for a while, okay? When he gets to needing you again, we'll talk."

Kurt nodded, still unable to think of anything to say. He watched, helpless, as Drew got into the cab with Simon and they drove off.

_What the fuck just happened?_

He shook his head, pulling out his phone and punching in a few numbers. "Blaine? Don't worry, Sweetie. I'll be home soon."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh, what's going on?! EVERYTHING IS FALLING APART!
> 
> I hope you guys like the chapter - I can't promise the next one will be out as soon as this one, but I promise to do my best to work on it whenever I can.
> 
> Thanks again for all the kind reviews and follows. You guys keep me going!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long wait, but at least it didn't take almost a year this time, right?
> 
> Warning: Suicidal thoughts

 

**2014**

Kurt walked back to the apartment in a sort of daze, confused as to how he'd gone from trying to decide between his two subs to suddenly being essentially on probation from one of them. He'd been expecting to have a good night with an experienced sub he'd shared a Commitment with for seven long years. He wanted to be able to be a Dom without having to teach his sub or second guess what he was doing. Instead, he'd been so focused on Blaine and himself that he didn't notice his actual sub's pain and allowed him to do something that both of them knew was wrong. Now, everything was blown apart.

" _Blaine?"_

_There was no response, only a hitch of breath and a quiet sob. First he'd royally fucked things up with Simon and now he'd ignored Blaine while he was obviously having a panic attack._

" _Don't worry, Sweetie. I'll be home soon."_

" _Okay," Blaine had quietly responded, voice clogged with tears, sniffling pathetically._

_Kurt started moving more quickly down the sidewalk. "What do you need, Darling Boy? What can I do to fix this until I get home?" Kurt had never needed to ask what his sub needed before – what was wrong with him?_

_He could only hear stilted breaths on Blaine's end of the line, until he finally whispered, "Promise me we'll be okay."_

_Kurt faltered in his steps, nearly knocked back by the desperation in Blaine's voice. "Fuck," Kurt whispered, feeling his heart wrench painfully in his chest. "You know that I would if I could," he finally said, picking up his pace. "I_ _**can** _ _however promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure you're taken care of in the way you deserve."_

" _Please just come home."_

" _I'm almost there, Sweetheart."_

Kurt had stayed on the phone with Blaine until he got to the door, barely sliding it open before rushing inside and pulling Blaine into his arms. _Why did this feel right when nothing else did?_ Kurt was too lost in his thoughts and exhausted by the last few days that he didn't bother trying to figure it all out.

Instead, he let himself hold his best friend and feel content for the first time all day.

**The Next Day**

When Kurt left to go be with Simon, Blaine was able to cope… for an hour. After that time, things started going from bad to worse. Blaine started to get lost in his head, his fear of losing Kurt taking hold of him. He'd started to panic, chest tightening to the point that his breath kept catching in his lungs and lights started to dance in his vision.

Hands shaking, he'd pulled out his phone and started texting Kurt, desperate to get a response that would take away his panic. He sent several texts, unable to stop his fingers from sending out frantic messages back to back. He'd had to correct several of the texts to make himself look less pathetic, and the notification that Kurt hadn't read any of his message made him even more anxious. Finally, Blaine stopped himself, staring forlornly at the phone, waiting for Kurt to read and respond. After a few minutes, Blaine resigned himself to sending his last message, turning off the screen and throwing his phone onto the table.

He sat himself heavily onto the couch and dropped his face into his hands.

Who was Blaine to lure Kurt away from Simon? Blaine was stupid if he thought he was desirable enough of a sub for someone like Kurt.

" _You're much too young and inexperienced for someone like Kurt to have as a fulltime sub. He's just trying to find a way to let you down slowly."_

Elliott's words echoed through his head, mocking him and judging him. But maybe he was right.

_I am young and I have no idea what I'm doing. I can't be the sub that Kurt really needs. I don't deserve his love, but I don't want to be alone. I can't do this anymore. Maybe I should just give up and go. If I lose him…_

Blaine's thoughts continued to spiral until he felt himself fall into the pit of despair, the one where his brain convinced him that maybe he would, in fact, be better off dead. What was the point of trying if he would just end up alone again?

Blaine tried his best to get himself out of it, but he couldn't. He'd never been able to get out of his funk before and he certainly couldn't now.

He jumped when he heard his phone starting to ring. With shaking hands, he'd picked it up, heart flipping in his chest at the sound of Kurt's voice. He talked with Kurt for a while before finally falling into silence, the situation still tense until Kurt was finally back home.

Kurt had been sad when he'd returned home from the club, shaken almost, if Blaine was reading him right. Kurt hadn't talked about what had happened at all, instead pulling Blaine into an embrace and holding him for long enough that Blaine nearly fell asleep standing up.

Blaine had gripped tightly onto the back of Kurt's shirt, barely stopping himself from begging Kurt to never let him go. After they finally pulled apart, Kurt had sent Blaine to bed, but not before asking if he'd be okay sleeping alone.

Blaine had to bite his tongue to stop the protest, wanting nothing more than to just curl up into Kurt, but sensing that now wasn't the best time. Blaine desperately wished that he and Kurt could just give in to their feelings, that he could kiss Kurt again, see if maybe kissing someone he loved would be different. He wanted to pull Kurt into bed and fall asleep in each other's arms; in the deepest parts of his brain, he imagined them doing much more than sleeping, that Kurt would take control and work Blaine's body in ways he didn't even know or maybe even let Blaine return the favor. Blaine could feel his pants tighten at the prospect.

Instead, Blaine refrained, sensing that Kurt needed to be alone for a little while, loving him enough to give Kurt the time he needed, even when it pained him to do so.

The morning was fairly normal for what had happened the night before.

Kurt acted as if nothing had happened, but Blaine couldn't let it go. He knew something must have gone down with Simon and he was desperate to know if Kurt had made a decision yet.

What if Kurt had been in the middle of ending things with Simon when Blaine bombarded him with his pathetic texts? _So stupid… I always ruin everything. He's going to leave me, I just know it. Let's just get this over with._

It was as Kurt held up the fourth shirt to Blaine's chest that he found the courage to ask the question that had been plaguing him all day. "So, what are you going to do about… your other sub?"

* * *

 

" _So, what are you going to do about… your other sub_?" Kurt paused, setting down the shirt carefully and turning to face Blaine. "What do you mean?"

Blaine huffed, his cheeks pinkening. "Are you going to keep seeing him? … Dominating him?" Blaine dropped his eyes to the floor, obviously embarrassed about having to ask.

Kurt bit his lip. Was it bad that he had no idea about anything right now? A good Dom would have his act together, would know the right decision and make it without hesitation. He was a fraud.

It might seem obvious to anyone else that the universe was trying to tell him that he needed to break things off with Simon, but Kurt was still uncertain. Before Blaine, he'd been happy with Simon, fulfilled in his Dominating duties, but now he wasn't certain. Maybe with Blaine things would be different, better?

On the other hand, he could try things with Blaine and if things crashed and burned, he'd not only lose his sub, but he'd lose his best friend. He wouldn't be able to survive without Blaine in his life. So did he go for the chance of happiness and maybe even love with Blaine, or did he stick with the safe option of Simon and find someone else to be Blaine's Dom?

He needed to figure out how to answer Blaine's question. With Blaine already so emotionally invested in what he and Kurt were doing, his focus had been entirely on spending as much time as possible with Blaine, walking him through the feelings he'd been having and leading him towards a decision on whether to enter a contract together or not. But it wasn't fair to him to keep seeing Simon and then dropping him once he'd made a decision. "I don't know," Kurt finally admitted. "I know that's not the answer you wanted, but it's the honest one."

Blaine frowned, but he nodded resolutely. "So what does that mean for us?"

Kurt again hesitated. "That's another question that I don't have an easy answer for. We've only just started this thing a few days ago. I don't think you're ready to be fully committed to this."

"What's the next step, then? You said we were going to do a contract. You said you were going to take care of me, teach me about all this!" Blaine asked, clearly upset with Kurt's answer. "It's not fair if you're going to be with someone else, too."

"I wouldn't expect you to, either," Kurt responded, lifting a hand up and stroking it down Blaine's cheek. "My Beautiful, Darling Boy, you deserve undivided attention from someone whose focus is making sure you're satisfied and cared for."

"I want that to be you," Blaine mumbled, his tone that of a small child who was afraid to admit it.

"I know you do." Kurt closed his eyes, unable to see just how needy Blaine was right now, not when he couldn't fix it all right this moment. "Simon and I are going to take some time away from each other so that we can figure this all out, all three of us."

"He knows about us?" Blaine asked, clearly shocked.

"No, but he needed some time too, so you and I shouldn't let this time go to waste. I'll ask Simon to meet once we figure some things out so that we can talk about… all this."

Blaine took a deep breath at that, a small spark of hope in his eyes, but his face twisted slightly like he was trying desperately to hide it. "And then we can be together?"

Kurt frowned, wanting so badly to be able to confidently answer yes. "Blaine, I need you to understand something very important. Simon is my sub right now. We've been in a Commitment for seven years; that's not something easily severed. I don't even know if…" Kurt trailed off, not sure if he should be talking about this with Blaine right now.

"Don't even know what?" Blaine prompted.

"I don't know if I'm the best person to be your Dom, Blaine."

Blaine sat up straighter, disbelief on his face. "How could you say that, Kurt? You've been so good to me this last week. I feel so _safe_ with you."

"But you have to admit that I've done wrong, too. Elliott was right: it's unfair to everyone if I keep seeing Simon while I'm saying that I'm with you. Right now you need a Dom whose whole focus is you and that's not me, not right now at least."

"I don't want anyone else, though. You're the only one I want." Tears were pooling in Blaine's eyes, falling rapidly down his face.

Kurt's heart leapt at Blaine's words, suddenly desperate to tell Blaine that he'd drop Simon right now and take Blaine on fully right now, but he couldn't. No matter how much his heart called out to him, Kurt had to keep his distance until he was one hundred percent certain. "I love what Simon and I have," Kurt admitted, hating having to do this to Blaine. "He was there when I was feeling so overwhelmed and unwanted when I first moved here, and he was so lost and unhappy."

"That's what you've been to me," Blaine said, wiping at his cheeks. "You make me feel special… desired, even. You gave me purpose when I wanted nothing more than to just give up. You changed my life all those years ago, Kurt, and now I want you to change it again. Please, be my Dom," he begged.

Kurt sighed, biting his lip to stop himself from agreeing. "I have security and stability with Simon. You don't understand how scary that is, the thought of losing my safety net."

Blaine nodded, sorrow in his eyes as he sniffled. "I understand the need for safety, more than you'd ever know. But, Kurt… do you want to live in a safety net your whole life?" Blaine asked, the boy so wise beyond his years.

Kurt was stunned to silence at the question. He opened and shut his mouth a couple times as he struggled to find the answer. He was shocked to feel a tear roll down his cheek. He'd never felt as uncertain as he had in this moment. "I guess I'll have to figure that out, now won't I?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait, but I was having a lot of difficulty finishing up this chapter and I know it's lack of quality shows. I hope you can see past the shortcomings and keep with the story. It's one of the ones that is a little bit of a filler, which are always harder for me to do. I can't help but feel this chapter lacking in some way, but if I don't post it now, it'll never be posted. The next chapter is sort of the same, so I apologize in advance for however long it takes to get up. I have, however been working hard at future chapters so that everything should go a bit more smoothly, unless life throws the inevitable curveball. Work is shit, life is hard, and I never have enough time to write. Thank you for everyone who sticks through this with me- you make it all worth it. There should only be about 5-6 more chapters of this, so hang in there!
> 
> Reviews mean the world to me. Thank you to eveyone who has reviewed in the past; it means everything.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 2-ish months since the last update... that's not horrible, is it? *cringe* Sorry guys, I've struggled to get the rest of this chapter written, but with NaNoWriMo happening, I forced myself to sit down. Restructuring helped me get this one complete - I hope you enjoy it!

 

**2014**

" _I guess I'll have to figure that out, now won't I?"_

Kurt and Blaine hadn't been able to really talk about what had changed that night because of both of their distress. The next day, Kurt sat Blaine down and explained that he and Simon were taking a break for an indeterminate amount of time and Kurt asked if Blaine would like it if Kurt temporarily Committed to Blaine until they heard back from Simon. Blaine had been quick to agree, a large smile on his face until Kurt made sure he knew that it was only temporary. Even so, Blaine seemed more happy and excited than he'd been in a long time and Kurt was glad to see it. Blaine deserved every amount of happiness.

They used a basic contract to get them through, changing it slightly to fit their wants and needs. They didn't get into anything specific, adding a note that they'd discuss anything new as they came up, making sure communication was a priority through it all.

It had been two weeks since Drew had sent Kurt away, giving Simon and Kurt the space and time they needed to determine if they wanted to stay in their Commitment or not.

Kurt traced his pencil along the outer edge of the jacket he was working on, sighing when he leaned back and saw how boxy he'd made it. He stopped himself from just crumpling it up and tossing it. He was stupid to think he could start a fashion line of his own. He closed the notebook and slid it to the side, pulling his laptop open instead. He really should get started on his spread for the December issue for Marie Claire.

He was just rearranging some of the pictures when he felt eyes on him. He glanced up, feeling his heart flip when he met Blaine's eyes. Blaine stood in the doorway, dressed in one of Kurt's favorite shirts of his, his eyes glittering with happiness as he smiled brightly at him.

"Hello, Sweetheart," Kurt said, returning his smile. "Need something?"

Blaine bit his lip, dropping his head and barely meeting his gaze. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and fiddled with it for a few seconds before music started playing. He set it on the nearest table and held out his hand to Kurt. "Would you care to dance with me?"

Kurt felt a shot of arousal run through him, his breath catching in his throat. Since the fiasco a week ago with Simon, Kurt had devoted himself entirely to Blaine and Blaine had been more confident and open in his pursuit of Kurt's affection.

It turned Kurt on to no end, feeding his Dominant side in a way it hadn't with Simon. For some Doms, subs making moves of their own without asking for permission was a punishable offense. For Kurt, as long as it wasn't something that went against any rules that he and his sub had created together, his sub was perfectly okay to do whatever he wanted, appreciated even. He wanted a sub who could think for himself and knew what they wanted, and if they didn't know, part of his duty as a Dom was to help his sub in whatever way was needed.

Blaine certainly had grown in the last few days; there was a light of hope in his eyes more often than not. Even though Kurt hadn't said anything more about Simon or starting an official Commitment with him, Blaine acted as if they were something more than they actually were. There were times he'd pull Kurt's feet into his lap and massage them as they were watching a movie, or he'd take his hand and press a kiss to it at random parts of the day, twisting himself into Kurt's embrace so that they could cuddle.

This request for a dance was new, though. Even though Kurt had a lot of work to do, he would drop everything for Blaine. He closed the laptop immediately and stood up. "I would love to," he said.

* * *

The song switched to a soft ballad, music playing quietly throughout the apartment, wafting gently over Kurt and Blaine as they danced slowly in their living room. They'd both been silent since Kurt had pulled Blaine close, giggling when Blaine tripped over Kurt's right foot, falling into his chest.

He'd had a lot of great moments with Kurt since Simon had left the picture, but this was one of Blaine's favorites. Kurt was always inexplicably warm and his embrace made Blaine feel safer than he ever had before.

This was everything he'd ever wanted, except…Blaine was pulled out of his state of calm when an image entered his mind.

He must have said something aloud, because he heard Kurt respond, "What was that, Sweetheart?"

He was about to deny saying anything, but hesitated. He'd been trying to be more open with what he wanted, asking for things even if he might be told no. That was the only way he was going to win Kurt over, to let him know exactly what he wanted from him. He was going to fight for Kurt with everything he had, prove that he could be everything Kurt could ever want.

"I want…" he paused, suddenly nervous that he'd be turned down and have his heart broken.

"Yeah?" Kurt whispered back, nose brushing against Blaine's jaw as they swayed back and forth. At Blaine's silence, Kurt nuzzled into Blaine's neck before pulling back and looking him in the eyes. "Whatever you want, Darling Boy, you just have to ask."

Blaine's mouth turned up at the corners into a smile. "Anything?" he couldn't help but ask with a smirk.

Kurt chuckled, pressing his lips against Blaine's cheek. "You can ask for anything in the world, but I will only be able to answer yes to something I'm comfortable with as well, something that isn't harmful to either of us."

Blaine took a deep breath and dropped his gaze to Kurt's collar, noting a section of stubble that Kurt must have missed this morning when he was shaving. "I really want to kiss you again," he finally admitted at a volume that was barely a whisper.

He couldn't bear to look up and see Kurt's expression, but he heard and even felt the breath Kurt sucked in, feeling the arms around him tense up. _Did I just ruin this all?_ he couldn't help but wonder.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Kurt's right hand tilt up his chin, his heart clenched at the smile he saw on Kurt's face, completely at a loss when he saw Kurt moving closer and suddenly they were kissing.

Instead of going for hot and heavy as Blaine was thinking he might, Kurt started the kiss as more of a tease, fleeting touches of lips against his own. Finally they were pressed against him, a single, solid pressure. After a few seconds, Kurt pulled away and rubbed his nose once, twice, three times against Blaine's. "Was that okay?" he asked quietly.

"Okay?" Blaine asked, completely at a loss, still a little dazed.

Kurt laughed lightly. "Last time you were really kissed, it wasn't any good," he explained, pressing his mouth against the corner of Blaine's.

"Oh yeah," Blaine responded. He'd only really done it twice so far with Kurt, but it was nice. Nothing like the fireworks that were described in romance novels, but not unenjoyable. "Maybe we should try again."

Kurt's laugh punched out of him and he cupped Blaine's cheeks in his hands and leaned in for another kiss. He paused at the last second, his hot breath brushing against Blaine's lips, whispering "I absolutely agree," before they were kissing once more.

* * *

The three weeks since Simon had broke things off with Kurt were some of the best of Blaine's life. Kurt was at home with him a majority of the time, either answering questions about being a sub or teaching him more about kissing (which was basically kissing in every way imaginable, trying to see if/what Blaine liked).

Kurt would kiss him every morning, either dripping wet from the shower or still rumpled from sleep. His lips were so soft and warm in the mornings, loose from still being tired before his first cup of coffee, kissing lazily until one of their stomachs would rumble and they'd go to make breakfast.

Whenever one of them would have to head to work (or school for Blaine), Kurt would pull him close and just hold him, sometimes kissing him, sometimes just breathing him in. After they would both return home and eat dinner, they'd retire to the living room where eventually they'd fall into each other and kiss, Blaine learning new ways to kiss and touch. It still wasn't anything magical or intense, but he got great pleasure over what it did to Kurt and it always warmed him up from the inside out.

Some of the other enjoyable moments were when Kurt would be his Dom, encouraging him to access the parts of him that he'd never known were there before. He found great enjoyment over following an order from Kurt, even ones a simple as getting an item from the kitchen while they were making dinner. Blaine had never felt more proud than when Kurt would praise him.

At first, this morning seemed just like the others. Blaine was just exiting the shower when Kurt stopped him the hallway. He placed his hand on Blaine's chest which was still damp and traced his finger across one of his ribs. "Well, hello, Lovely."

Blaine shuddered at the deep tone of Kurt's voice and the darkness in his eyes. "Good morning," he responded, voice cracking slightly. He leaned up on his tiptoes and kissed Kurt softly. Kurt's lips molded against Blaine's and his tongue swiped along Blaine's lower lip, moaning deeply when Blaine pulled him closer against his chest.

"Mmmm," Kurt groaned when they finally pulled apart. "A good morning, indeed." He squeezed his hands around Blaine's hips and looked him up and down. "I have something I need to discuss with you, but why don't you get dressed first so I'm not as distracted."

Blaine smiled brightly, still slightly amazed that Kurt would be distracted by Blaine's body. They hadn't done anything remotely close to sex, Blaine wasn't even sure if he was ready for that yet, worried that maybe sex would be like kissing, mildly enjoyable but nothing like what he'd been told it was supposed to be like. He didn't want to disappoint Kurt. He scampered off to his room, curious what Kurt would want to talk about.

Before long, he was dressed in his comfiest t-shirt and sweatpants. He had no plans to go out, so there was no point in dressing up. He slid his feet into his slippers and shuffled back to the living room where Kurt was waiting for him.

He paused before the couch, feeling slight panic when he saw how distraught Kurt looked, wringing his hands in his lap. Obviously this wasn't going to be an enjoyable conversation.

Kurt must have sensed Blaine, because his head whipped up. "Blaine, could you join me?" he asked, gesturing to the couch beside him.

Blaine felt his breath start to come a little more shallowly as the panic started to increase.

"I got a call from Simon last night."

Blaine felt his face go pale. _Oh god, this is it. It's all over._

"He wants to talk… in person. I was thinking maybe I should go tomorrow and I thought you should be part of this decision." Kurt paused, finally seeming to see Blaine for the first time since he started talking. "Oh god, Sweetheart, you're freaking out." He grabbed Blaine's hands. "Blaine, match my breaths," he said, his voice taking on more of a commanding tone.

Blaine fought back the panic as best he could, trying to breathe in and out as Kurt did. Several minutes later, Blaine had calmed down enough for him to encourage Kurt to continue. "So, you're going to go to him?" he asked, still feeling like the world was ending, but Kurt's presence in front of him kept him grounded.

Kurt bit his lip and nodded. "I have to talk to him about all of this. It's high time I actually made a decision about it all."

"And what is your decision," Blaine asked, desperate for the answer, but terrified at the same time.

Kurt frowned. "I don't… I don't really know yet." Kurt sighed. "Sometimes, I think I do and then sometimes I'm more uncertain than ever before. You have no idea how much I want to know for sure."

Blaine took a deep breath and tried to stop himself from crying. Kurt still had no idea who he wanted? All of Blaine's fighting these last few weeks hadn't done a thing to win Kurt over. What else could Blaine do? "What exactly am I supposed to say? It's not like I can tell you not to go."

Kurt nodded. "You're right. It was wrong of me to ask. Cruel, really. I just wanted to be honest with you about what I need to do."

Blaine felt unbidden tears rise in his eyes. "Can I… I'd like to be alone for a little while."

Kurt frowned. "Are you sure you should be alone right now?"

Blaine pulled his hands out of Kurt's and stood up. "If you really cared about how I felt, you'd actually know what you wanted." He didn't want to wait to hear Kurt's response. He stormed to his room and nearly slammed the door closed.

* * *

Kurt didn't see Blaine for the rest of the day. He knocked on his door before he had to go to work, but Blaine told him that he didn't really want to see Kurt right now. Kurt knew better than to push. He only would force his way in if he thought that Blaine was hurting himself.

When Kurt got home from work, Blaine was locked in his room and again asked to be left alone. Kurt couldn't help but be frustrated. He wanted to spend time with his best friend and maybe try to figure out what he was supposed to do. But really, how could Kurt expect helpful advice from someone with a vested interest in one of the choices?

Just as Kurt was about to get ready for bed, he was startled by a knock on the door. "Blaine?"

Blaine didn't open the door, instead choosing to talk through it. "I'm… I'm sorry for withdrawing. I'm not ready for you to… I just wanted to say that I love you… and goodnight."

Before Kurt could even think of what to say in response, he heard Blaine walk back to his own room and close the door.

"… I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope to have things stabilize a little more in my life so that I can finish this story. There shouldn't be too many more chapters, maybe 5 more? Thanks for sticking with me through the long breaks.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter so quickly, you ask? The muse was really burning the midnight oil. I just hope I can keep the momentum up :)

 

**2014**

Kurt took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Simon was waiting for him to come over to his house for a scene and Kurt was going to ruin it all. He couldn't believe that he'd admitted that he loved Blaine last night. At least he hadn't said it to his face, god that would have been a disaster.

They couldn't start anything like a relationship while things were still up in the air. If Kurt chose Simon… Blaine would be devastated and nothing they had created together would last. If he let himself really feel the love between them and things ended… Kurt didn't think he could survive another broken heart. Better to keep it to himself until everything was decided.

And really how stupid was it that he was going to meet with Simon today and he still didn't know for certain how it was all going to play out? It had been three weeks, he really should have decided by now. He thought he had, too. These last three weeks with Blaine had been nearly perfect, everything Kurt had ever wanted in not only a Commitment with a sub, but also a true relationship. Plus, the thought of Blaine with another Dom sent a fire churning through his veins, hands shaking with barely restrained anger. Not just that, but what if Blaine being with a new Dom lead to him getting a new boyfriend too?

Images of Blaine with another man flashed through his mind, kissing him and touching him, and… Kurt nearly threw up in his mouth. Kurt didn't know if he could ever accept that.

However, there was still this nagging part in the back of his mind that taunted him, made him second guess it all. It said things were too good to be true, that something would happen to fuck it all up with Blaine and then he'd have no one. And as horrible as it would be to lose Blaine, if he lost _everyone_? Kurt didn't know how he'd survive.

"Kurt?"

Kurt nearly screeched, forgetting that he wasn't alone. Kurt turned to face Blaine. "Yes, Blaine?" Kurt desperately hoped Blaine couldn't see his nerves.

Blaine stood off to the side, looking smaller than he ever had before. All the confidence that had been in his expression these last few weeks was gone, in its place was a fear that Kurt had never hoped to see on Blaine. "Are you still going to see… him today?" Blaine bit his lip, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"Yes."

Blaine frowned, nodding. "And are you going to come back tonight?" Blaine asked, eyes still on the ground.

Kurt sighed, reaching over and tipping Blaine's chin up so he would meet his eyes. "He's my sub. We've been together for three years now; I need to make sure I make the right decision for all of us."

Blaine's eyes welled up with tears. "When I think about you together… his hands on your skin… his lips on yours…" Blaine shuddered. "Is it selfish of me to want you all to myself?"

"Oh, my beautiful Darling Boy," Kurt cooed, stroking the tears from Blaine's cheeks. "I wish I could commit to you right now one hundred percent, but that's impossible. I need to see him again and figure this all out once and for all. And if it comes to it, I need to explain things to Simon first. He deserves that much."

"You still don't know?" Blaine asked, looking crestfallen. "I love you, Kurt. Isn't that enough?"

"Blaine, please don't… I can't…" Kurt trailed off, uncertain what he could say that wouldn't just make things worse."

Blaine sighed. "You promise you'll come back to me? Even if…"

"I promise." Kurt pulled Blaine into a soft kiss. "Please try not to worry, Darling Boy."

Blaine's mouth rose into a small smile. "I'll try."

"Would you like it if I had someone come over so that you didn't have to be alone?"

Blaine shook his head. "I don't think it would help."

"Okay. If you're certain. Please call me or Elliott if it gets to be too much, okay?"

Blaine nodded. "See you tonight?"

Kurt just smiled. "I'll do my best." Just as Kurt went to stand up, Blaine leaned forward and kissed him, hands clenching in the front of Kurt's shirt.

"I love you," Blaine whispered against his lips, and "please," over and over until the words didn't even make sense.

Finally, Kurt pushed Blaine away. "Blaine, I need… I need to go."

Blaine reached for Kurt once more before he nodded and sat back. Kurt hesitated at the door for a moment before he stepped outside, determined not to look back at Blaine lest he get pulled back in and never leave.

**2009**

The move to New York had been interesting to say the least. Kurt had met him at the airport, hugging him so tightly that Blaine had trouble breathing for a few moments. "I'm so glad you're here," Kurt whispered into his ear, as Blaine's face nestled into his neck

 _This must be what coming home feels like._ Blaine felt the corners of his mouth turning up so far that his cheeks became sore.

For the last five months, Blaine had been beyond anxious about coming to New York where he only knew Kurt and he'd probably never see his old friends or his family again. Earlier in the summer, Blaine had come to visit New York and Kurt took him apartment shopping.

Kurt helped him moved in, got him signed up for a few clubs on campus, and walked with him to classes the first few days until he felt confident that he could make his way around on his own. They'd go out to lunch once a week, Kurt checking in to make sure things were going well and Blaine was so thankful that he had such a good friend.

A few months in, he got invited to a party with Kurt's friends. _I'm going to a party with Kurt… this is my chance._ He'd had a crush on Kurt since he'd met him two years ago and now that he was an adult, maybe he actually could secure a date with him.

As far as Blaine was aware, Kurt was single. He never talked about seeing anyone and he was always available when Blaine asked if he could hang out. Now, Kurt hadn't invited Blaine as a date, officially, but Blaine was certain that's what Kurt meant when he'd asked.

Blaine dressed up in his best outfit, spending more time on his hair than he ever had before. Kurt said he'd meet him at the party, so Blaine walked there by himself. Once he was outside the door, he fussed with his bow tie for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and going in.

Kurt was nowhere to be found at first. Blaine awkwardly moved around the party, eyes darting around to try and locate his friend, fidgeting with his watch and feeling like such a kid when surrounded by all these attractive older men, all drinking beer while Blaine nursed a can of coke.

"You must be Blaine."

Blaine squeaked and turned to face the man who had spoken to him. "Umm, hello?" Blaine responded, quickly looking around to see if maybe Kurt had randomly appeared.

"I'm Jason," the man said, holding out his hand for Blaine to shake. "Kurt's a friend of a friend, mentioned you were single… his description doesn't do you justice, though."

Blaine blushed, giggling for a second before he could stop himself. "That's, um… that's very kind, but I'm not actually single, because, I mean-" Blaine trailed off when he finally spotted Kurt on the dance floor.

It took a second to register what exactly he was doing, but once he did, Blaine felt his heart drop to his feet. Kurt was laughing with a random guy in the corner before he pulled him closer for a kiss. _Kurt doesn't…. of course, why would he want me, some kid, when he could have anyone he wanted?_

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, Blaine. Kurt said that you were-"

"No, he was right," Blaine cut in. "I'm single. I don't know why I-anyway…"

"How about we start over?" Jason said with a smile. "I'm Jason, your name is Blaine?"

Blaine nodded. "That'd be awkward if it wasn't."

Jason laughed. "True. Can I get you another coke?"

"Umm, sure." Blaine watched as Jason went over to the refreshment table and grabbed a can from the cooler and refilled his own glass with some dark brown liquid from a bottle on the table. "Thank you," Blaine said, taking the can from Jason and carefully popping the top.

"So, Blaine, Kurt didn't tell me much about you other than you just started college here; what are you studying?"

"Music education."

They spent the rest of the night talking. Jason seemed really interested in Blaine's studies and Blaine was pleasantly surprised to find out that Jason was a curator at the Art Museum down the road. When Jason asked him out on a date that ended up being a private tour of the museum after hours, Blaine readily accepted, excited for the prospect of his first real date, even if he was still mildly disappointed that it wasn't with Kurt.

Just as they were finalizing details, Kurt came over, the man he'd been kissing nowhere to be seen. "Hey, Blaine. I see you've met Jason."

Jason smiled and toasted his glass to Kurt. "You never mentioned how charming he was, Kurt."

Blaine blushed. "Oh, geez."

Kurt clapped Blaine on the shoulder with a large smile. "There's a reason he's one of my best friends."

"Who's one of your best friends?" the man Kurt had been kissing earlier said as he slipped his arm around Kurt's shoulders.

"Blaine," Kurt said, gesturing to him. "Blaine, this is Scott, one of my old classmates. Scott, this is Jason, a friend of Derek's."

Scott shook Blaine and Jason's hands before putting his arm back around Kurt. "Nice to meet you. I'd love to stick around and talk some more, but I think Kurt and I had somewhere we needed to be, right?"

Kurt nodded, waving goodbye to them both before turning and following Scott out of the party.

Blaine was still mildly disappointed over the realization that Kurt was seeing someone else, but when he turned and saw Jason's smiling face, he felt some hope rise inside of him. At least there was someone out there that actually wanted him. Made him feel special for the first time in a long time.

**2014**

Kurt was gone for most of the day and Blaine couldn't help but freak out over what exactly was happening between Simon and Kurt. As each hour passed, Blaine's panic continued to rise, spiraling into episodes of random panic attacks over everything and nothing.

Kurt texted him at one point asking what he'd like for dinner. Blaine's hands were shaking so much that he could barely respond back. Was this a rejection dinner or, dare he hope, their first dinner finally together?

He ended up texting back that he'd like Chinese, because it was his favorite food and could either be a reward or comfort food, depending on which way it went.

When Kurt returned to the apartment that night, Blaine could feel his heart beat nearly out of his chest. He tried to figure out what happened from the expression on Kurt's face, but it was unreadable. Kurt's mouth was tight and his eyes were soft with sadness. They were red rimmed as if he'd been crying. "It's over," Kurt said, voice deep with dejection.

Blaine's heart stopped, feeling everything crash around him. His breath stopped in his chest and his heart squeezed so painfully that he thought he was dying. He fell back onto the couch, clutching a hand to his chest, his vision nearly going black and he struggled to suck in even a single breath.

"Fuck, Blaine, shit," Kurt cried out, rushing forward and getting in front of him. "Sweetie, you have to breathe for me."

Blaine couldn't focus on anything other than the burning in his chest, his heart pounding so hard and so off beat that he didn't know if it would ever go back to normal. He was going to die on this stupid couch, having lost Kurt to Simon even after he fought with everything he had inside of him. He wasn't ever good enough for anyone, even his best friend.

Kurt's voice came from far away, even with his face blurry in front of him. Blaine didn't know how long it took, breaths barely working through his lungs, blackness around the edge of his vision, brain going a million miles an hour, liquid pouring out of his nose and eyes at such a pace that Blaine's face was drenched with it, trailing down his neck and into the collar of his shirt.

It took longer than normal for Blaine to calm down from his panic attack. Blaine had never had to deal with the idea of losing Kurt; he'd been a constant figure in his life ever since Blaine had moved to New York. After Kurt had taken him on as a temporary sub, Blaine had been allowing himself to picture an actual future together.

Gradually, Kurt helped him take deep breaths in and out and after what had to have been an hour or so, his heart beat was back to normal and his vision had cleared. "So it's over?" Blaine finally asked, proud that his voice didn't crack. Things might be over between them, but he wouldn't dignify Kurt with showing how devastated he was over it.

"Oh god, Blaine, did you think I meant…I didn't mean _us_ , I meant that I terminated my contract with Simon." He pulled Blaine into his arms, squeezing tightly around his chest and burying Blaine's face into his neck so that all Blaine could focus on was the feel and smell of him. "Relax, Beautiful Boy. You're going to be mine and I'll be yours for as long as you'll have me."

Blaine giggled, hearing what Kurt was saying, but terrified that it somehow wouldn't end up being true. How could his biggest dream be coming true? "Forever?" Blaine responded, sniffling and burrowing deeper into Kurt's embrace.

"Forever," Kurt responded, cupping Blaine's face in his hands and kissing him so softly and sweetly that Blaine felt his heart flip in his chest. "I love you, Blaine."

Blaine gasped, pulling away to look at him. "Really?"

Kurt nodded. "More than I have loved anyone else. Actually, can I…Sweetheart, wait here a moment while I get something? And… close your eyes until I get back?"

Blaine did as he was asked, eyes closing almost before he decided to. He let the fact that Kurt said he loved him take over his being, feeling almost like he was floating a few feet above the couch.

He heard Kurt come walking back in the room. "Okay, open."

Blaine slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times before the blurry image of Kurt's face sharpened enough for him to see the still dazzlingly bright smile. In his hands was an object Blaine couldn't immediately identify.

Kurt looked bashful, fiddling with the object before holding it up for Blaine to see. It took a few additional seconds for Blaine to figure out what it was: it was a black collar with what looked to be a pure silver buckle on the back and a silver music note on the front of it. "Would you do me the honor of wearing my collar?"

Blaine nodded, lifting his chin up so that Kurt had easy access to his neck. Kurt carefully wrapped the collar around his neck and clipped it closed around the back, sliding his fingers back along it to the front, an extremely pleased grin rising on his face.

"Mine," he whispered.

Blaine nodded, head moving so quickly that he must have looked like a bobble head. He reached up and twisted Kurt's hair in his fingers, yanking him forward into a kiss, "Yours," repeating on his lips between kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that the wait has been worth it. There are a few more chapters left of this and I hope that you guys will like how it concludes.
> 
> Reviews are always appreciated.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to everyone who reviews and asks questions :)

**_In response to a question I received in a review: "I'm curious as to why Blaine feels that the kisses with Kurt are only 'mildly enjoyable'. Is it because they are light and quick, or because they lack passion?"_ **

_Very good question about the kissing. I'm guilty of basing Blaine's reactions to physical affection on myself. I don't enjoy kissing - it's something I've never enjoyed and I'm determined that I'm not the only one. I'm sick of being told I'm abnormal, so yeah. Blaine's one of those rare people that don't find enjoyment out of physical affection, even with those they love. But he can enjoy that Kurt enjoys it and it's not bad, it's just not the fire and heat that are so often described by people. Placiosexual I believe is the term, finding physical pleasure over someone else's enjoyment of physical activities? tl;dr Blaine will never truly enjoy kisses like in other fanfictions. It's nothing detracting to their relationship, it's part of it._

_I'm sure TV Blaine enjoys physical pleasure a lot more than my Blaine does. Or maybe it just presents differently. Sapiosexual is a weird thing to be. I made out with my partner a lot, almost every time we were together, but not because I had a desperate need to do it, just because it felt good to make my partner feel good. While the actually act of pressing lips together does nothing to me, the meaning behind it and the relationship it creates and the love it shows makes me feel just as good as any others. It was a very pleasurable experience, as long as my partner understood that nothing they could do would make the actual process of it physically enjoyable. They'd try too hard and make it uncomfortable and that was no fun. They struggled to understand that to me, kissing wasn't a chore or duty, but I didn't feel fire or see fireworks or anything like that. I felt them for a different reason. And Blaine wants so desperately to please whoever he's with that I totally see it being possible. But I don't know, I guess I just have to write what I see and feel._

* * *

**2014**

Kurt didn't really let Blaine get more than a few inches from him the whole rest of the day with the exception of when Blaine had to use the bathroom. Even then, Kurt was right outside the door and pulled him into a deep kiss as soon as he exited.

Every few minutes Kurt would touch or stare at the collar around Blaine's neck, a dark, almost possessive look in his eyes. Blaine put a movie on in the attempt to give them something entertaining to do in between their kissing and moments of staring at each other, but they ended up just laughing, holding hands, and cuddling.

Blaine was zoning out, maybe falling into what Kurt had called 'subspace', _I really should ask him more about that_ , head resting on Kurt's shoulders, loving the sensation of Kurt's hands in his curls, twisting and scratching until Blaine could barely remember his name.

"When did you first realize you loved me?" he heard Kurt ask, his mouth brushing against his temple as he pressed another light kiss there.

Blaine blinked himself back into full consciousness at Kurt's question. When he realized Kurt was fishing, he laughed. "Oh, are we really going to do this?" He sat up and twisted to face Kurt, making sure to keep Kurt's hands on him.

"Doing what?" Kurt asked, eyes twinkling with mischief.

Blaine snorted. "Fine, act like you don't know." Blaine smiled at him and then thought back through the years they'd known each other. "I don't know exactly when it happened. I mean, I had a crush on you when we first met-"

"Wait, really?" Kurt asked, looking genuinely surprised.

Blaine blushed. "You took care of me on that flight. No one ever really seemed to care before." He watched as Kurt's face fell and he hurried on to what he wanted to say next. "Anyway, I guess it never really went away? I thought maybe something might happen when I first moved here, but you were with someone else and I met Jason, so…" Blaine shrugged. He was surprised at how easily he spoke of his long hidden feelings for Kurt. Normally it was hard for him to express himself. Maybe all this confidence was coming from the fact that he was Kurt's now, once and for all. They hadn't done anything official other than the collar yet, but Kurt said they'd sit down to establish a contract tomorrow. He was thankful that finals weren't for another two weeks. He needed time to devote to their relationship, but he couldn't skip out on his last year of college, either. "No matter how it happened, we got here, right?"

Instead of looking understanding, Kurt looked like he was struggling to process what Blaine had said. "Wait, let me just…" Kurt's brow furrowed. "You wanted to be with me when you first moved here?"

"Yes."

"But, you never said."

"I was 18 and I'd never actually dated anyone. I had no idea how to bring it up and then I thought I wouldn't have to when you asked me out to that party."

"Oh god, and then you had to see me there with… what even was his name? Sean?" Kurt sighed. "I had no idea. I feel like such a jerk!"

Blaine smiled. "Water under the bridge now as far as I'm concerned. You gave me no reason to think you'd actually want to date me. Plus, I don't think I'd have been ready for anything like _this_ back then, even if it might have sidestepped the whole thing with your other sub."

Kurt shook his head. "I was already with Simon at that point."

"Really?" Blaine asked, confused. "But you were with that other guy, weren't you?"

"No, he was just… Simon and I never dated. I dated a few guys a few years back, but it never felt right. Nothing ever came close to this."

Blaine leaned forward to meet Kurt's kiss. "Have I thanked you yet for choosing me?" he asked, trailing a hand down Kurt's cheek.

Kurt pulled away and waited until Blaine looked in his eyes before saying, "There is no need to thank me. I made you wait far too long; I was cruel to drag it out like I did. I should instead ask you to forgive me."

Blaine shook his head. "No forgiveness is needed. We both were lost and starting something new and uncertain after you'd been in a stable relationship… I can't even imagine how scary that was for you."

"When did you get so smart?" Kurt asked, glaring at him playfully.

Blaine snorted. "I think it's just being mind-numbingly happy and in love."

"Seriously, though, Blaine, I want to apologize for hurting you. I promise that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will show you the love and be the Dom you deserve."

**2012**

Blaine really shouldn't have been shocked at the number of bottles of alcohol on their counter when he got home after school. Kurt had been more excited about Blaine turning 21 than Blaine himself had been. They'd been living together for two years now and it seemed like every other month, something new was happening with their friendship.

Blaine had been with Jason the first part of his time living with Kurt, but that had gone up in flames and Kurt had been there to pick up the pieces. After that, Blaine had been too discouraged to go after anyone or accept a date from the few guys who had asked him. Plus, he was still hopelessly crushing over Kurt, growing more frustrated the longer it went on and the more he saw Kurt with Scott, and then Jacob, and then a string of other guys that he'd see Kurt with off and on.

Kurt had made sure to make time for Blaine's birthday, though, taking the whole weekend off so that they could celebrate in style. Blaine hadn't been comfortable going to a bar or club for his first foray into drinking, which Kurt understood and told him they'd celebrate at home instead.

Blaine dropped off his shoes and coat in the front entry and then ran to his room to change into his comfy pajamas (that was one of Kurt's requirements for their celebration for tonight, and he was already lounging in the living room in a matching blue set).

"Perfect," Kurt commented, setting out several shot glasses on the coffee table and rearranging the bottles of alcohol in the middle. "Sit yourself down."

Blaine sat down across the table from Kurt, crossing his legs and scooting so that he was closer. "So, will you let me know what the plan is… besides drinking?"

Kurt just smiled, shaking his head. "So, I was thinking we'd have you just try out a few of the different kinds to figure out what you like." Kurt poured out a couple millimeters of vodka, whiskey, gin, rum, tequila, brandy, amaretto, and finally some champagne. He explained that they could do wine and beer the rest of the weekend. Kurt held out the champagne first, clinking his glass with Blaine's, "Happy Birthday, Blaine."

Blaine smiled, tipping the glass back and taking his first drink of alcohol. The drink bubbled in his mouth, a bit more bitter than he'd thought it'd be, but not terrible. Kurt continued plying him with the rest of the glasses, asking for his opinion on each until they'd gone through them all.

Blaine preferred the amaretto as it burned least upon swallowing and rum was a close second.

"Well, I think Rum would be the best for the plans I have," Kurt said, setting the empty shot glasses in front of them both and pouring rum into them. "Amaretto is better in smaller amounts," he explained, capping the rum and setting the bottle to the side. "So, we know each other pretty well, right?" Kurt asked.

"Yes?" Blaine asked, confused.

"I'm sure there are a bunch of things we don't actually know, so I thought it might fun to do a little 'Never Have I Ever'."

Blaine laughed. "Isn't that the one where you drink if you've done the thing the other person said that they haven't done? I doubt there's anything you've haven't done that I have… Won't you be drinking all the time?"

Kurt nodded. "With our age difference, I'm almost certain of that. That's why I thought we'd switch it up a little. We could do it where you say something you think I haven't done and if you're right, I drink or if you're wrong, you drink and vice versa."

"That could work." Blaine slid his finger down the side of one of the glasses in front of him. "Could I pass if I don't like one of them?"

"Sure." Kurt clapped his hands before rubbing them together. "So, who wants to go first?"

Blaine had Kurt start, feeling nervous all of the sudden. He was so sheltered, having really never done anything and if he ever wanted to win Kurt over, he shouldn't continue making Kurt aware of that fact.

"Never have you ever… kissed a girl?" Kurt started with, eyes widening when Blaine blushed and just nodded towards Kurt's own shot glass. "Really?" Kurt asked before downing his shot.

Blaine watched him carefully set the glass down, avoiding Kurt's eyes. "It was during Spin the Bottle."

"Aha, makes sense. And did it…"

Blaine snorted. "Just proved I was gold-star gay. So, um… never have you ever…been outside the country?"

Kurt smiled and took another shot. "I hope to change that at some point, though." They continued a few more rounds, finding out that Blaine had never gotten a speeding ticket or gotten detention, but he had in fact skinny dipped. "My parents have their own pool and, I don't know, it sounded fun," Blaine explained.

Blaine learned that Kurt had never skipped class or called in sick when he actually wasn't, but it was on one of Blaine's last questions, feeling tipsy, that everything changed.

The more alcohol he consumed, the looser Blaine had been feeling. "Never have you ever tied someone up during sex," Blaine said, confident Kurt would be taking a shot.

Kurt smirked and nodded towards Blaine's shot glass, smile getting larger when Blaine could only blink in shock, feeling something twist inside his belly. "It's kind of par for the course as a Dom, Blaine," Kurt explained, resting his cheek on his hand.

"Dom?" Blaine asked, shuddering as he took another shot.

Kurt had then proceeded to explain what a Dom/sub relationship was, but not going into a great deal about his own relationships. "I've been a Dom for a little over 6 years now."

"Why…" Blaine frowned, unsure what exactly his question was.

"Why am I Dom? It's…" Kurt sighed and looked around the room, as if looking for the best answer. "It's not something I chose. Things started changing in college, what I was looking for in life. I had this need to be in control, to take care of those around me, things like that. It wasn't until I met Gary, my R.A.," Kurt explained, "that I realized what it all meant. Gary took me out to a meeting and it all started to make sense." Kurt picked up one of his shot glasses and downed it. "It's… there's no way to describe it, Blaine. If it's for you, it just all clicks into place, like everything makes sense."

Blaine struggled to put the picture of the Kurt that he knew with the one that was a Dom. "But, you tie people up?" he asked, shuddering. He didn't think he'd ever be okay being tied up.

Kurt smiled. "That's just one aspect of Dom/sub Commitments. Not everyone enjoys bondage and if my sub doesn't, I don't push for it." He took another shot. "It's a lot of fun, though if you're open to it."

Blaine nodded, picking up his last shot glass and downing it. He'd done his best to listen to what Kurt was explaining with an open mind, but he just didn't ever see himself wanting to be in that kind of relationship. Maybe that's why he and Kurt would never work out.

**2014**

"Blaine, I'd like us to write our contract, if that's alright with you."

Blaine looked up from his notebook, sliding his highlighter into his textbook to hold his spot. "Oh, um, yes, that'd be perfect." Blaine's hands started shaking. This was huge, because while Kurt had verbally said he'd chosen Blaine as his only sub, it still didn't feel final. This contract might just be the thing that made Blaine feel secure in this.

Kurt sat down next to Blaine and pulled him into a kiss, smiling at him when they pulled apart. "I love you, Blaine and I cannot wait to start this with you. This… I want this to be forever, I hope you know that."

Blaine felt tears prick his eyes, his heart swelling up so much that he felt a knot grow in his throat. "Thank you," he said, throwing himself into Kurt's arms and embracing him tightly. "I love you, too."

Kurt held him tightly, rubbing his hands up and down Blaine's back. "I'm going to give you clear cut rules," Kurt said, leaning back so that he could look at him. "There will be no wrong way if you follow my commands. If I tell you to wait in my room, there is no wrong way to wait as long as you're in my room. If you're on your knees in the submissive pose, I might enjoy that better, but there won't be any punishment because you can't do it wrong. The only punishment will come when you don't follow my commands. My rules will be black and white. I will never trick you. You are safe in my hands. If you need stricter rules or you need a punishment, we will deal with that down the line. I never want you to panic over a decision. I'm going to take care of you."

Blaine grinned. "That sounds perfect."

They spent the better part of four hours writing up their contract, detailing exactly how they wanted to be together, what things Kurt expected from Blaine and vice versa. They went over a list of limits, discussing what they thought Blaine might be interested in and what both of them were completely against. Due to Blaine's previous abuse, he wasn't interested in being hurt by Kurt. A lot of the bondage and pain-oriented limits were completely written off. Blaine said he was interested in verbal bondage and maybe blindfolds, but he reserved the right to say no at any time. They created their own personal safe words and Kurt told him multiple times just how serious those were. "You will never get in trouble for using them. I won't be mad or use it against you. Your safety is everything to me. I hope you'll do the same for me?"

"Of course, Sir."

They picked up the pen and signed their names at the bottom and with that, it was finally complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the Contract has been written. There are only about 3 chapters left. Thanks again for all the reviews :)


	13. Chapter 13

**2014**

The next few days were magical. Kurt was able to devote himself entirely to Blaine and it was as if everything had finally fallen into place. He taught Blaine the proper submissive pose, on his knees in their bedroom with his hands behind his back and his head properly bowed down. They came up with a routine for the weekdays and weekends, giving Blaine the responsibilities of cooking meals when Kurt was going to be coming home late from work, or cleaning up if Kurt cooked.

At least every other day, they'd have some sort of scene, cycling through things either Kurt felt Blaine might enjoy or things Blaine had tentatively requested the night before. Blaine liked waking early to make Kurt breakfast, a bright smile on his face as he watched him dig into the food. After Kurt had a long day at work, Blaine would have a bath ready for him and sometimes he'd give him a massage as they listened to whatever music Kurt allowed Blaine to pick out for them that night.

They'd study for Blaine's finals and if Blaine was able to answer all the flashcards correctly, Kurt would reward him with whatever Blaine wanted. Usually it involved Kurt stripping down to his underwear while Blaine kissed and touched him all over. Blaine liked getting him off, which Kurt obviously also enjoyed, so it was a reward for both of them.

Kurt had not realized just how sensitive he was on his ear lobes or hip bones, but Blaine quickly discovered that and exploited them.

When Kurt would get home from work, if Blaine had completed at least one of his essays for school, he'd allow Blaine to undress him however he wanted; he could go slowly and look and touch, or quickly so that he could leave him undressed while he pressed kisses over his entire torso.

Kurt asked Blaine once if he'd like him to return the favor, but Blaine had shaken his head and gone back to kissing him.

Kurt loved dressing Blaine. He'd sometimes bring home pieces from work to have Blaine model for him, which lasted only a short while before Kurt nearly tackled him for another make-out session.

They decided on Blaine calling Kurt 'Sir' whenever they were in a scene, at home, at the Dom/sub clubs or classes they went to, and Blaine was welcome to call him that in public if he wanted to.

Blaine wasn't a fan of being called 'pet' or any other generically submissive names that Kurt had told Blaine about, preferring the endearments like 'Darling Boy' and 'Precious' that Kurt had come to start calling him before this all started.

All in all, things were good, great even. Everything seemed to be going perfectly until Kurt came home from work one day and Blaine wasn't waiting for him. In fact, it looked like he wasn't even there. Kurt checked his phone quickly to see if he'd missed a text or call, but he hadn't.

He started to get worried until he spotted him. Blaine was sitting in the dark, burrowed in a nest of blankets, and there were slow, sad songs playing on the iPod.

"Oh, thank god," Kurt breathed. "Are you okay? What has gotten you so down, Love?"

"Will you do that to me one day?"

Kurt paused, confused by the random question. "Do what?"

"Leave me for another sub?"

Kurt's eyes widened. _Is Blaine truly worried about that?_ "Oh god, Darling Boy, no, I will never leave you. I love you."

"But-"

"I promise. What we have is different. I've never felt this fulfilled with anyone else."

"But…" Blaine sniffled and wiped his nose on his hand.

Kurt sat down next to him. "You're mine, forever. We promised each other, remember? I don't take promises lightly."

"But didn't you promise your other sub, too?"

Kurt was about to respond when Blaine's words actually hit him. "Shit. You're right, I did. I have no explanation for that, but Simon and me? We both decided that we weren't best for each other anymore. We entered into something that wasn't going to be enough for a happy life for either of us. You and me? You're everything to me and I'm certain I'm never going to need anyone else."

Blaine didn't look too convinced.

"Is there anything I can do to prove this to you?"

Blaine shook his head. "Not everything lasts, Sir. My parents got divorced, you lost your mom and… I'm just not sure how anyone feels safe."

Kurt's heart felt heavy in his stomach, but he pushed through the sudden pain over remembering his mother's loss to staying strong for his sub. "Well, then we'll have to make it good while we still have each other, right? Because I'm in this for the long run."

"Me too," Blaine was quick to respond. He laughed softly. "You're sure you're ready to listen to my craziness?"

"Always, my Darling Boy."

"I don't… I don't think I want everything you do."

Kurt frowned, taking Blaine's hand. "What are you talking about, Darling Boy? Is there something in our contract that you want to change? You know that that's okay, right?"

Blaine's chin wobbled and he shook his head. "It's not that… well, not really." Blaine sighed and pulled the blanket tighter around him.

"What is it, Darling Boy?" Kurt asked, placing his hand around his shoulder and rubbing lightly. "You can tell me anything."

Blaine bit his lip, "I have some issues with sex," Blaine started, fiddling with a seam on the blanket. "And I'm not sure you'll be okay with that."

Kurt felt his heart twist painfully in his chest at the devastation in Blaine's voice, a note of defeat already there. "You don't know that, Love. We can talk about whatever you're worried about and we'll get through it together."

Blaine blinked through the tears now pouring steadily out of his eyes. "I don't want to have sex," he finally said, voice broken.

Kurt pursed his lips and squeezed his hand. "Is it a specific kind of sex, or has what we've been doing been uncomfortable for you? Did I force you-"

"No!" Blaine shouted, sitting up straighter, the blanket falling off his head and laying over his shoulders. "I've really enjoyed what we've been doing. It's just…"

Kurt felt relief flood him. He'd never forgive himself if he'd forced himself on Blaine. "Do you not want me to be inside you, is that it?" he asked, starting to see where this might be going.

Blaine blushed and nodded. "And I saw you doing that to your other sub and I just know I'll never want that."

Kurt smiled, leaning forward and kissing Blaine softly. "I don't need that, Darling Boy. That's not going to break this thing between us."

"But-"

"No buts. I'm happy doing whatever we're both comfortable with. I won't resent you for not wanting penetrative sex and I hope you won't resent me for not wanting you to do anything to me while I'm not awake." One of Kurt's limits had been somnophilia. The thought of someone doing something to him while he wasn't able to defend himself was still a hard limit for him. Blaine had frowned when Kurt originally brought it up, but he'd quickly understood when Kurt explained his reasoning and they'd added it to the list.

"Are you sure?"

Kurt nodded. "Sex isn't everything to a relationship, Darling Boy. It's a nice way to show affection and love for those who enjoy it, but it won't make me stop loving you or want to be apart from you. The things we've been doing… I can't wait to spend the rest of my life sharing that with you."

Blaine was crying quite harshly now and he threw himself at Kurt, hugging him tightly. "I don't know what I did to deserve you," he sobbed.

"I feel the same, Love. I want us to be open about all of this. Things will change as time goes on, there might be things you decide you no longer want to do, or something new we want to try that we never thought of before. We'll always discuss new things or changed things before we try them so that we're always both on the same page."

"Thank you, Sir."

Kurt kissed him again, feeling like things were still up in the air, but they were in this together, so they'd find a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably one of the shortest chapters yet, but there's a reason for that - we're going to jump ahead in time a little after this and that deserves a new chapter. Right now I have 17 chapters outlined, but that might change as we get through these last chapters. Thanks again!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, this is one of, if not THE longest chapters for this series. I hope it was worth the wait. We're leading up to the end, thanks for all the reviews and follows!
> 
> PS: Trigger warnings for bullying/assault - it isn't terribly graphic, though.

 

**2005**

The dance hadn't been as fun as Blaine had hoped. Blaine had hoped that Tina or one of his other girl friends would ask him to the Sadie Hawkins dance, but they'd all asked other boys they actually wanted to date (which Blaine understood, but it still hurt), so he'd asked his friend Michael instead.

He and Michael had bonded over bullying, as odd as it sounded. They'd picked on Michael to no end and Blaine decided to do something about it. He'd gotten between D.J., his goons, and Michael. He'd gotten popped on the shoulder hard enough that Blaine had fallen to his knees. They'd laughed at him, calling him the 'midget homo' before throwing his books all over the hallway and going to the bus.

He'd tearfully admitted to Michael that he actually was gay and they'd done their best to be there for each other since. Michael had been hesitant when Blaine originally asked him to the dance, but when else were they ever going to be able to go to a dance with a date? Besides, they knew there'd be teachers chaperoning, so the bullies couldn't do anything to them.

He stupidly thought they'd be safe, but he couldn't have been more wrong.

Nothing happened at the dance itself, and maybe that's why they didn't stay cautious when they decided to leave.

"So, who do you think is going to get the solo?" Michael asked, kicking at a pebble on the sidewalk and looking back down at his cell phone.

Blaine snorted. "You say that like it's going to go to anyone other than Rachel."

Michael smiled. "True. It's nice to dream, though, right?"

"Unless the dream will never come true. Then, it's just sad." Blaine slid his hands into his pockets. The November chill was starting to get to him. "Do you think we should try calling your Dad again?"

Michael shook his head. "He should be here soon." He cupped his hands by his mouth and blew on them.

Blaine screeched when he suddenly felt a pair of hands press into his back and shove him hard enough to fall onto the pavement. He felt the skin on his palms scrape off as he slid across the street, hearing the material on his knees tear at the same time. He groaned in pain, turning over just in time to see them go after Michael next.

Before he could call out, he felt one of the boys kick him in the stomach, forcing the breath in his lungs to punch out of him as he tried to press his stinging palms to where his abdomen throbbed the worst.

Over and over, fists and feet pummeled into him, one particularly harsh punch aimed at his face, breaking the skin, causing blood to pour down over his eyes. He couldn't see what was happening, but the sound of Michael's screams chilled him to the bone. Just as Michael's screams died off, there was a terrible pain in Blaine's left hand, as if every single bone in his fingers was shattered at the exact same time.

His vision whited out as he desperately tried to get away, but he was unable to stop them as they grabbed his arm once more and held it along the ground, laughing and arguing over who would get to 'stomp the fag's palm'.

He felt himself start to pass out just as they figured it out, and it was with the last vicious stomp that his vision completely faded to black.

**2015**

Kurt woke up while it was still pitch dark and it took a few moments to realize what had awoken him.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, sitting up so that he could turn the light on and turn to face his sub. Blaine was tossing and turning, clearly in the throes of a nightmare. He seemed to be extremely upset by the nightmare, moving violently enough that Kurt was afraid he was going to hurt himself. "Sweetheart," Kurt said, placing his hand on Blaine's chest and shaking him lightly. "Please, Sweetie, wake up." It took another minute before Blaine actually woke up, startled and gasping when he saw Kurt above him.

Kurt was about to ask if he was okay when he was shocked by Blaine launching up into his arms and sobbing into his shirt. "I thought…" he cried, burying himself into Kurt's neck, "It was happening all over again, and I couldn't stop it, and I couldn't find you, and I was so scared, and they _just wouldn't stop_!"

"It's okay, Precious. Whatever you saw, it wasn't real. I'm here and you're safe." Kurt held him as tightly as he could, whispering whatever he thought might calm Blaine down.

As light was starting to shine through their blinds, Blaine had finally settled. "Thank you, Sir."

"I will always be here for you, Love." He pressed his lips against Blaine's crown. "Do you want to talk about it?" Kurt pulled back so that he could look Blaine in the eyes to make sure he understood what he was saying. "I'm not ordering you to talk about it, if you don't want to. I just want you to know that I'm here to listen if you do."

Blaine nodded. "That means so much. I told you about how I got attacked at my school dance, right?"

Kurt remembered Blaine's tale from when they'd first met, Blaine's sorrowful expression as he'd explained that he and a friend had been beaten up.

"I didn't tell the whole truth; it was a lot worse than I made it out to be. I had to have a couple surgeries to stop the internal bleeding. I had a really nasty concussion, too, but worst of all…" Blaine trailed off, dropping his gaze to his left hand and flexing it a few times. "They broke 25 different bones in my hand. The doctors thought I might never get feeling back. A couple pieces of bone broke off and severed the nerves in my last three fingers." He trailed a finger down his hand and Kurt was shocked to see a few minuscule scars that Blaine's fingers traced. _How had I never noticed those before?_ "A few days before the flight to New York, I finally got feeling back. I still didn't know if I would ever have full use, but it was the first good news since the attack. And then I met you," Blaine said, finally smiling at Kurt.

"Was your friend okay?"

Blaine shook his head. "My friend Michael still doesn't have full feeling in his left leg. They broke his jaw, too. His jaw had to be wired shut for weeks." Blaine sighed and wrapped his arms around himself. "Once he was stabilized, his parents moved him across the country and I didn't hear from him for years." He leaned over and grabbed his cell phone from the bedside table. He unlocked the screen and swiped a few times before he held the phone up to Kurt. It showed a picture of two young men who were smiling so widely that you could see almost all their teeth. "This is him and his husband, Todd. They have two kids, too."

"Wow," Kurt said, swiping through the pictures of Michael and his little family. "They look really happy."

"They are," Blaine said, taking the phone back and smiling down at the pictures. "He became so much more confident after the attack, and I'm still not sure how. It was as if they lit this fire inside of him. He refused to give up and fought for everything he'd ever wanted. He and Todd flew to New York the day after marriage equality passed there and they've been happily married ever since." Blaine set his phone down and his face fell. "Is it bad that his happiness makes me upset?"

Kurt's eyes widened. "Of course not. Never get upset over your own feelings." Kurt took Blaine's hands and squeezed them lightly.

"It's just… we went through the exact same thing, yet he was able to graduate from college, marry the love of his life, and start a family, and here I am still in school and…" Blaine trailed off and Kurt saw the color on his face drain. "I'm not unhappy with us, don't ever think that. It's just frustrating that I still feel so inexperienced."

Kurt smiled lightly. "I can get why you would feel that way, but you have to realize something: whenever you compare yourself to others, you'll always find something lacking in yourself, even when you have a lot of good in your own life. You've grown and overcome so much, Beautiful Boy, and you should be proud. What you went through… you had to have been so strong to come out of it like you did. You've been through abuse and hate and I can't even begin to imagine how you did it."

Tears pooled in Blaine's eyes. "But I'm still a victim to the nightmares."

Kurt's heart broke and he pulled Blaine back into his hug. "You aren't a victim, Love. You are a survivor. I'm so proud to call you mine."

They fell into each other, sharing kisses for the better part of an hour, Blaine stripping Kurt so slowly that Kurt thought he might die. " _Fuck_ ," Kurt bit out, hissing when Blaine's teeth scraped across his right nipple. His toes curled and his fingers splayed across the sheet when Blaine trailed his tongue down the middle of his chest, Blaine's hands clenching at Kurt's hips hard enough that he was certain he'd have a bruise or two in the shape of them (and that turned on Kurt more than he ever thought it would). Add in the fact that Blaine was still fully dressed? Kurt's dick was throbbing so hard that it was starting to hurt.

Blaine didn't mind getting undressed when they had sex (he had asked that there be a line in contract that specified that Kurt would never require Blaine to be fully undressed, that it would be one of Blaine's only choices that was entirely his own, and Kurt had been initially shocked, but of course added it in). Blaine tended to be more comfortable the more clothed he was. There had been a few times that Blaine stripped down to his boxers, but usually he'd just change into a comfortable pair of sweatpants or shorts. He'd admitted to Kurt that it wasn't that Blaine was uncomfortable with his body, that wasn't why he didn't like undressing. He instead worried that forcing Kurt to look at his cock and not touch would just remind them both of the abnormal (at least in Blaine's still self-conscious mind) aspect of their sexual relationship. Kurt had assured him that wouldn't be the case (though when he really thought about it, having Blaine's semi-hard cock waving around in his vision just might tempt him to take a few licks or touches), but he agreed to let Blaine be the decision maker in this instance.

After thoroughly ravishing his neck and chest, Blaine moved down Kurt's body, eyes zeroing in on Kurt's cock before gripping it tightly and with a confident smirk on his lips. Blaine had been a quick learner, needing only to try something a few times before he was what Kurt would call proficient.

Their dynamic was vastly different than any other sexual relationship Kurt had ever been in. Typically he was the one performing the sexual acts on his subs, or at least he was in almost total control of the situation, either riding his sub, topping them, or giving them commands on what he wanted them to do, requiring them to hold off on their own orgasm until he wanted them to. He'd quickly found a much greater satisfaction in letting Blaine take some of the control in the bedroom. Kurt would usually be the one to dictate what he wanted Blaine to do to him, but he got just as much enjoyment out of Blaine setting the pace or slightly switching things up, with the understanding that if Kurt wanted him to speed up or stop or change, Blaine would immediately comply. It was rare, however, that Kurt needed to do that. He instead usually had a much more intense orgasm when he just let Blaine take over.

Blaine had asked him once if that went against Kurt's Dominance, him giving up control to his sub, and Kurt had been given pause at first. He ended up setting up an appointment with a Dominant/submissive therapist to discuss that very question.

"Some Dom's only feel secure in their Commitments when they are in total control," the therapist had said after hearing Kurt's dilemma, "but there's no one way to be a Dom. If you and your sub get enjoyment and fulfillment with a little shakeup of control and power, then that's the way it works for you. Unless it starts to feel wrong, I suggest you keep doing what you have been doing."

Kurt had thanked him for his advice and ended up signing himself and Blaine up for some classes at the local chapter house, feeling like maybe continuing to keep the conversation open with other Doms and subs in their area might help him and Blaine continue to grow in their relationship.

Kurt was brought back to the present when he felt Blaine's fist squeezing and twisting his cock just the way that Kurt loved. Blaine sucked on a few of his own fingers and trailed them over his balls and along his perineum. He spent quite a while stroking the sensitive area, his other hand continuing to slide along his cock at a steady pace. He leaned down and sucked a harsh kiss onto his collar bone. " _Shit, shit, shit_ ," Kurt bit out when one of Blaine's fingers slid a few extra inches farther back and pressed lightly against his hole.

His eyes flew up to Blaine's face, curious to see how Blaine would react. Blaine's eyes were wide, dark pink spots on the apples of his cheeks, sweat dripping down his forehead, making his skin glisten in the low light. "Sir, I just…" His Adam's apple bobbed below his collar as he swallowed deeply, hand faltering at the base of Kurt's cock before he pulled away completely.

Kurt let out an involuntary groan at the loss of sensation, but sat up so that he could put a hand on Blaine's shoulder. "What is it, Beautiful? You can tell me anything."

Blaine bit his lip and rubbed a hand through the bangs that flopped into his eyes. "I was going to apologize, but that would have felt wrong. I want to… I've been wanting to try that for a while," Blaine said, stroking the finger that nearly pressed inside of Kurt. "But I wasn't actually trying anything just now… it was an accident. I know I'm not supposed to do anything not on our contract without us talking about it first." Blaine frowned and Kurt was shocked to see tears in the corner of his eyes.

Kurt couldn't help but lean forward to kiss him, not wanting Blaine to get upset about this. "It's all right, Beautiful. I know you didn't do that on purpose. You've been so good to me, and I know you wouldn't break our rules." He kissed him again. "And I'd be happy to discuss doing that tomorrow, okay? I just wish you'd told me you'd been thinking about that before. Have I ever given you reason to doubt that I want to hear your ideas?"

Blaine shook his head. "No… but…" his forehead crinkled. "It's something I said I didn't want, but now-"

Kurt put a hand on Blaine's mouth, silencing him. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay? Right now, just remember that I told you things could change as time went on. There are millions of things we could try that I'm sure you've never even thought of. That's why our contract is always up for tweaking. There are things that I've thought I've wanted before but decided later that it wasn't for me, or something that used to make me uncomfortable that I now actually enjoy. There's nothing wrong with that."

Blaine let out a breath and smiled lightly. "I know you said that… it's just confusing to go through it, you know?"

Kurt nodded. "How about we just call it a night and go to sleep?"

Blaine's eyes widened. "But…" His eyes dropped to where Kurt had gone almost completely soft. "Can I still get you off?" He looked back up at Kurt. "I'd really like to take care of you."

Kurt felt his cock twitch at the blatant desire on his subs face and was only too quick to accept. He kissed Blaine once more before he settled himself back onto the bed, feeling his cock harden back up as Blaine resumed twisting his fist along his cock, his lips coming down to mouth at his balls. In an embarrassingly short amount of time, he was shouting out his release and collapsing to the bed.

Blaine twisted to lay next to him, hips coming up to rub against Kurt's thigh a few times before they stuttered with his own release. Kurt still didn't quite understand Blaine's desire to only ever get himself off, but he wouldn't ever push Blaine to let Kurt do it himself. Blaine had let Kurt try once, but after several agonizingly embarrassing minutes, Kurt gave up and let Blaine get Kurt off instead. He'd tried to explain to Kurt that it was him being able to make Kurt come, or seeing Kurt's naked body, or following one of Kurt's commands that made Blaine's cock swell, that it was Kurt's love and trust and praise that made him so hard that he could barely stand it. He'd tried to make Kurt understand that he was insanely attracted to him, and that being able to take care of Kurt sexually fulfilled all of Blaine's desires, and though Kurt didn't think he'd ever be able to truly understand that, he came to accept the fact and adjust their relationship accordingly. He'd been honest when he said he didn't need to fuck Blaine to feel sexually fulfilled. It was disappointing, there was no getting around that, but it didn't taint their love or their Commitment, it made it uniquely theirs. Besides, watching Blaine get hard without Kurt even needing to touch him was beyond sexy, and watching Blaine get himself off almost get Kurt hard all over again.

"Ugh," Blaine grimaced, palming at the wet spot on the front of his jeans. "Remind me why I don't get undressed?"

Kurt snorted and clumsily tried to kiss him, missing and instead planting it on his ear. "Because you secretly love running off to soak your clothes right after sex? Tell the truth Blaine, laundry is your kink." Blaine chuckled and shimmied out his pants. "You do know that I can restrain myself if you ever decide you want to be naked when we have sex, right?" He reached over to their bedside table and grabbed the wet washcloth he had sitting in the bowl there and wiped at the come that was starting to dry on his chest.

Blaine took the washcloth from him and rocked himself a few times to gain the momentum to sit up in bed and stumbled over to their bathroom so that he could toss his clothes into the sink and fill it with water. While he waited for the sink to fill up, he removed the rest of his clothes and tossed them into the hamper, cleaning himself off as well. "Have you seen my ass, though? It's pretty irresistible," Blaine called out over his shoulder, laughing when he felt a pillow smack his said naked ass. He turned off the tap and walked back over to bed, sliding in and curling up into Kurt. "In all seriousness, I was wondering if you'd like to meet Michael and his family. He'd been asking about getting together, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to see him again, since I'd been feeling so lost." Blaine licked his lips and smiled. "I want him to see how happy I am now. I want him to see how good we are together. I want him to be proud of me."

"I'm certain he will be, because I'm so proud of you, my Darling Boy."

Blaine giggled and Kurt's forehead crinkled in confusion, tilting his head inquisitively.

" _Someday and soon, I'll make you proud of Your Boy, though I can't make myself taller or smarter or handsome or wise,"_ Blaine sang, a silly smile on his face.

Kurt laughed, cupping Blaine's cheek in his hand. "The taller thing is regrettably true," Kurt said, causing Blaine to gasp and hold a hand to his chest in mock offense, "but you're the handsomest and wisest person I've ever known."

"Sucking up, are we?" Blaine teased.

"Is it sucking up if it's the truth?" Kurt asked, trying to keep as innocent of an expression on his face, because while it was true that Kurt thought that there couldn't possibly be anyone more handsome than Blaine in the world, he didn't need Blaine to get a big head because of it.

"Then, I happily accept." Blaine pulled him close and kissed him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of explanation because a review made me realize it needed a little more discussion. "It's honestly refreshing, especially in a genre like D/s which is always assumed to be inherently sexual. I was just wondering, I guess, if this was your intention? Or is it just meant to be that Blaine enjoys non-penetrative sex but not penetrative and I'm looking too far into this? Which is also a definite possibility :P"
> 
> His body doesn't have many/any erogenous areas, so sexual pleasure for him wouldn't involve touching his own body. Because of that, penetrative sex, handjobs/blowjobs, kissing, etc just aren't a source of pleasure as far as his own body is concerned. But he gets pleasure from seeing Kurt get pleasure. Does that make sense? Like how people can get pleasure out of watching actors having sex, or whatever? These are the terms that I find sort of fit Blaine (personally I think Placiosexual fits best, but sometimes one label doesn't cover the whole thing):
> 
> Aegosexual/Autochorissexual- A person with a disconnect between themselves and the target of their sexual attractions/desires. A disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies, or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein. Commonly found in asexual people; an analogous feeling may occur in aromantic people for romantic fantasies. Coined by Anthony Bogaert.
> 
> Akoi(ne)sexual / Aposexual aka Lithsexual- A person who experiences sexual attraction to others but does not care or does not want that person to reciprocate. A person who does not like receiving sexual intimacy.
> 
> Demisexual - A person who only become sexually attracted to someone else after creating a strong emotional bond with that person. The sexual attraction does not exist before the two have created an emotional bond. (opposite of fraysexual).
> 
> Gray-asexual - A person whose sexuality is somewhere in between sexual and asexual, can have many different definitions. A person who is somewhere in between 100% asexual and allosexual; they might only experience sexual attraction on very rare occasions, or feel sexual attraction but not desire sexual relationships, or experience a feeling somewhere in between platonic and sexual.
> 
> Novisexual - A person who experiences a complicated sexual attraction (or lack thereof) such that they do not feel it can be described in a single term.
> 
> Placiosexual - A person who wishes to perform sexual acts toward others, but does not want to receive sexual acts toward themselves.


	15. Chapter 15

**2015**

Blaine was awoken to the ringing of Kurt's cell phone, blinking quickly to try and disperse the darkness, but it was still the middle of the night, so Blaine turned on the lamp instead.

" 'lo," Kurt asked, voice rough with sleep. He rubbed at his eyes and put hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn. "What?" Kurt listened for a little bit longer before his mouth rose into a smile. "If you feel that's best for all of you, then I'm happy for you… of course. I wish you the best."

"Who was that?" Blaine asked when Kurt had hung up.

"It was Elliott. He, uh…" Kurt scratched the back of his neck. "He's going to take on Simon as his permanent sub," he said with an incredulous laugh.

"But, I thought as a Switch that he wouldn't ever commit to someone as a Dom or sub."

Kurt nodded. "I thought the same, but he really bonded with Simon. Last time we talked, he'd mentioned that he'd found someone who made him want to settle down. I'd be mad that he didn't tell me who it was, but it makes sense. When it's new, you want to keep it to yourself for a little while." Kurt rubbed a hand down Blaine's cheek and pulled him forward into a light kiss. "Besides, he's an adult; I'm sure if he weren't ready for this, he wouldn't have created a contract with him."

Kurt yawned again, which made Blaine yawn in response, giggling. "Well, I'm happy if they're happy."

Kurt lay back down on the bed and opened his arms for Blaine to settle into. They tried to go back to sleep, but after an hour, they gave up. "Well, I guess we're up for the day," Kurt finally said. "Any ideas on what we should do until it's actually dawn?" Kurt asked, an impish grin on his face.

"Actually, I was hoping we could try out that thing we just added into our contract," Blaine said, dropping his voice a little and fluttering his eyelashes, something he'd learned turned Kurt on. "That is… if you still have those scarves you told me about?"

Kurt's eyes widened, and a flush rose up his neck towards his ears. " _Yesyesyes_ ," Kurt said, flying up out of bed and nearly crashing into the wall in his haste to get to the closet. Blaine had to duck a few times when items that Kurt tossed out of the closet went flying dangerously close to his face. When Kurt shouted out in triumph with the three scarves in his hands and flashed him a saucy smile, Blaine felt heat pool in his belly and he sank back into the mattress. He could feel calmness already washing over him in anticipation. Kurt sauntered over to the bed and trailed one of the scarves along Blaine's leg. "All right, Sweetheart, can you tell me where you are?"

"Green, Sir."

"Good. I expect you to tell me if that changes, okay?" While some Doms would continue to ask how their sub was doing throughout their scenes, Kurt and Blaine had agreed that Kurt would ask for Blaine's color before they started and then it was Blaine's responsibility to speak up if things changed. Blaine trusted Kurt implicitly, so there really was no need for him to keep checking in. When Blaine nodded, Kurt flicked on his iPod and one of Blaine's favorite Bach pieces, Air on G String, started playing softly. Kurt finally crawled onto the bed and straddled Blaine.

Blaine felt his body sinking deeper in to the bed as Kurt carefully tied his hands to the headboard with one of the scarves, leaning down and kissing Blaine softly as he trailed his hands down Blaine's torso and pressing his hips down into the bed beneath him.

Blaine pulled at the scarves a few times, testing how much he could move, which wasn't much. "Thank you, Sir," he said, letting himself settle back into the bed.

Kurt smiled brightly, kissing him once more. "Okay, Love, I need you to clear your mind for me. Listen to my voice, to the music and just let yourself go."

Blaine took a deep breath and let the music help him drift off, Kurt's voice lulling him into an almost sleep, every muscle relaxing to the point that he felt completely boneless. It would be hard to explain to someone else why being restrained was oddly freeing for Blaine.

Sometimes, the amount of options Blaine had made him start to freak out. Blaine dreaded doing things wrong, so sometimes, even just picking out what to wear in the morning could beckon panicky feelings on. To help Blaine with that, Kurt set up a recipe book for when it was Blaine's turn to make dinner, he'd organize his closet with ready made outfits, and he'd created a routine for both getting up in the morning and getting ready for bed at night. He set up a schedule for Blaine's days off, chores he could do, books he thought Blaine might enjoy, even setting up a Netflix list for when Blaine just wanted to veg out for a little while.

Bondage had been something Blaine hadn't ever wanted, the thought of being completely at someone's mercy was a source of terror, but after one of their Dom/sub classes, Blaine had been intrigued. One of the subs in his class had given a presentation on knots and different methods of being restrained and Blaine couldn't get it out of his head. He'd asked Kurt if they could discuss it and after a long talk, Blaine requested they add it to their list of things he'd like to try. Kurt had been the one to suggest scarves, not ever wanting to see anything like rope burns or bruises on Blaine's body.

It took a little while to wrap his head around it, but being restrained by Kurt would take away his fears and worries. All of his decision making would be taken away, completely controlled by Kurt. Blaine wouldn't ever have to worry about how to position himself, or if he should be touching Kurt in some way, or anything at all. All Kurt expected him to do was lay in the position that he himself restrained Blaine in and just be. That was something Blaine was good at. He didn't even have to worry about things like breathing or thinking. Kurt's voice and the music set up a steady pace for him to breathe, for his heart to beat to, immobilized so that he could just float away into nothingness, completely content for the first time in a long time.

Every so often, Blaine would check back in, catching bits of Clair de Lune, Moonlight Sonata, River Flows In You, and Prelude in C, all the while Kurt's voice soothing over him, his hands gently massaging every single inch of his body, the smell of his favorite lotion wafting over him as Kurt's hands took care of him.

Gradually, Blaine started to come back to fully consciousness, Kurt's breath ghosting over his ears. "Come back to me, my Beautiful Boy." Kurt softly commanded, lips brushing against his cheek, hands slowly and gently shaking him. "You've been so good, so perfect for me, my Love, but I need you to come back."

Blaine groaned, a happy smile rising to his face as his eyes fluttered open. He attempted to speak, but found his throat to be raspy after so long of disuse. He opened his lips and gladly sucked down the water that Kurt offered him, noting belatedly that his scarf had already been removed from his wrists. He let himself be fed, small pieces of chocolate and a few slices of apples.

"What's got you so giddy?" Kurt asked when Blaine started laughing.

"This just reminds me of the first time you fed me," he said, struggling to sit up and thanking Kurt again when he slid an arm under him to help.

Kurt's face brightened and he returned Blaine's smile. "I remember that day quite fondly. It was the day that all of this started." He kissed Blaine and fed him a few more apple slices. "I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you."

"You think _you're_ the lucky one?" Blaine asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Are we really going to start the 'no, you are' fight? Because you know what it does to you when I win."

"Humble," Blaine said with a laugh. "Good thing I'm still a little spacey right now, otherwise I'd accept your challenge." Blaine picked up the last piece of chocolate and offered it up to Kurt. "I love you," he said, kissing him, ripping a moan from Kurt's throat when he licked inside his mouth, drawing the last taste of chocolate from it. Their kissing soon turned into a full on make-out session and Kurt started making these desperate noises each time Blaine licked along the roof of his mouth, hands flexing along Blaine's hips. "God, I'd really love to fuck you," Blaine breathed out, sliding his hands up inside the bottom of Kurt's shirt and running them up towards his chest.

Kurt made this sort of choking noise and pulled back, eyes wide with shock and glazed over. "Did you just say…"

Blaine swallowed, just now realizing what he'd admitted. "Yes… and yes, I really would like to…" he hesitated, feeling childish when he realized he couldn't say the words again. He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. "I think I'd really like to be inside you," he finally said, voice barely a whisper.

Kurt groaned, pulling Blaine into a hard kiss, frantically whispering against his lips, "God, Blaine, you can't just…we have to talk about this… we can't just- you said you never wanted to… _fuck,_ you have no idea how badly- jesus…"

Blaine felt like his whole body was on fire, every nerve ending flaring up as Kurt nearly mauled him with his kisses, hands ghosting over him as if Kurt had no idea where exactly to place them. It was heady, seeing how gone he made Kurt with a simple statement, and Blaine felt like he was getting drunk off of it.

Much too soon, Kurt pulled away. "I think it'd be best if we cooled it off, come back to this tomorrow when we're a little calmer?"

Blaine sucked in a breath, trying to slow down his racing heartbeat. "That would probably be best, yeah." He ran a trembling hand through his hair, chuckling when Kurt leaned towards him again, hands starting to reach for him before Kurt shook his head and instead stood up.

"I think I'm going to go take a shower," Kurt said, looking for all the world like all he wanted to do was launch himself at Blaine. "I'll just…" he trailed off, thumbing towards the master bathroom, backing towards it while his eyes looked like they were undressing Blaine. He giggled when his back bumped into the doorframe, taking one last look at Blaine before turning to actually enter the bathroom.

Blaine waited until the shower started up before he attempted to stand, his legs still weak from their scene and the following discussion. He'd been thinking about being inside of Kurt for a while now, first as just random images while he was dreaming, and then gradually, he was actually picturing it while he was in the middle of kissing Kurt. Each time, it became easier to picture and he became so ridiculously turned on that he could barely stop himself from coming as soon as he touched Kurt.

He didn't know how to broach the subject with Kurt, since he'd told him many times before that he wasn't really into using his own body during sex, that it didn't really do anything for him. This change wasn't like suddenly realizing you liked sushi. It threw off his whole idea of who he was and what he wanted out of their relationship. It was like he was discrediting everything he'd said before.

And worst of all: what if he didn't actually like it and it made Kurt even more mad? It was why he hadn't wanted to say anything at first. He didn't want to give Kurt hope and take it all away when it wasn't actually what he wanted. What if he enjoyed fingering Kurt and then actually fucking him wasn't enjoyable? Kurt would hate him.

Blaine felt panic start rising in his chest, heart squeezing so painfully that he thought he was dying. The only thought in his mind was _rightnowgetKurtnow_ and he sprinted to the bathroom, slamming into it hard enough to send bolts of pain through his arms as he wrenched the door open.

"Blaine?" he heard Kurt ask with concern from inside the shower.

Blaine couldn't respond, the panic clenching his vocal cords tightly. Instead he whipped open the shower door and flung himself at Kurt, clothes quickly getting soaked in the spray. Kurt barely managed to catch him before they almost fell to the floor, feet slipping underneath them as he threw out a hand to catch himself on the shower wall.

Blaine didn't know how long he spent sobbing, held tightly in Kurt's arms as the water eventually turned cold. He couldn't feel his arms or legs, brain focused on the throbbing in his chest as he struggled to pull breaths into his burning lungs. "Sweetie?" he heard Kurt ask, hands on his cheeks pulling his face up from where it was burrowed in Kurt's chest. "Love, we should get out of here before you get sick." Kurt turned the shower off, grabbing the nearby towel and wrapping Blaine up in one before whipping another one around his own waist. He ushered them both out of the shower and rummaged through the nearby cupboard for some more towels, helping Blaine undress and then rubbing the towels carefully over Blaine so that he was thoroughly dry.

Blaine had trouble focusing, his breath still hard to catch, his heart still beating out of his chest. He couldn't help but stand by as his brain continually berated himself for not knowing who he actually was and what he wanted in life, and for fucking it all up with Kurt. Kurt had to call out to him several times to keep him from losing himself.

"Sweetheart, you have to stay with me. I need you to stay focused, okay? I know you must be really scared right now, but I need you to remember I'm here and I'm going to protect you. I love you, Darling Boy."

Somehow, they ended up back in the bedroom, Kurt pulling on Blaine's favorite pair of pajamas and settling him into the blankets, holding him tightly. "I'm guessing your panicking over what we talked about before I left you?"

Blaine couldn't even nod, body exhausted from his racing mind.

"Sweetheart, there's nothing to be scared about. I know it must be terrifying to have things this important to you change, to lose control over what you thought you understood, to feel like you don't know anything about yourself anymore, to feel lost? I'm not telling you that you can't feel this way, far be it from me to discourage feelings. I need you to feel things, otherwise you're not really living. I just need you to understand that you have no reason to panic over it. I'm going to be with you every step of the way. While it might be nice to have a 'label' or … an 'understanding' of who you are, it's unrealistic. I can't classify who I am any more than you can. If I tried, I'd go crazy. Everyone is ever evolving. If we didn't, we run ourselves into the ground. We can't grow if we don't change. I'm sure a year ago you never thought you'd consider yourself a sub, but here you are, my Beautiful Boy. That doesn't mean you were wrong before or that you're wrong now. If you're happy with your life, then you're being who you were meant to be. If the next day you change, and you're happy again, then you've become even more of who you were meant to be. I don't think you'll ever truly settle, because the world is always changing. And I'm going to change with you, okay?" Kurt took several deep breaths, the amount of words he'd spoken clearly having taken a toll. "I love you, Darling, forever and always."

Blaine was unable to respond, barely gathering up the energy to lean forward into Kurt's embrace, nestling his head onto Kurt's chest and letting the blackness settle over him, falling into a restless sleep in the arms of the man he loved that he was afraid he was losing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After proofreading this, I noted the abrupt ending (I tend to do abrupt endings, but this felt even more abrupt, but I don't want to change it). I've panic attacked myself to sleep and it's crazy how abruptly you just pass out.
> 
> I'm mad at myself, I completely left out something I find important to relationships that is severely lacking in many of the fics I read. I forgot to write a scene where they bring up Kurt getting tested before starting their sexual relationship. Kurt was always practicing safe sex with Simon, but it's important for him to be 100% certain that he's clean before committing to Blaine. Blaine is everything to him and he's going to take every precaution to protect that. It's important to be safe. I always talk about being safe in sexual situations but it's hard to actually convince your partner to do the things to prove that you're safe. I wish there'd be more discussion of this. Sure it's inconvenient to be tested, but really how hard is it to get tested and wait before having sex? It's sad how many young people also don't get that oral sex isn't any safer than penetrative sex. So, yeah... tl;dr Kurt's safe... yay :)
> 
> Also, the whole discussion of changing preferences as you experience things in a relationship and the absurdity but strange need for labels is also important for me to discuss. It's something I've struggled and am still struggling to understand, so I wanted to try and bring up what I've learned so far in the hopes that it might help others. The fact that, like Kurt said, your understanding of yourself changes as you learn more about the world. Gay isn't something you think you are when the world around you vilifies it, so you don't understand those feelings of attraction until you learn it's okay and can accept it. Sex can be terrifying when someone tells you have to feel a certain way and you don't, that you're made to feel wrong because you don't enjoy certain things, or completely opposite, you think you won't enjoy something and sometimes actually don't enjoy it, but down the line it becomes something you do enjoy. To come to the realization that you were never wrong, that you were changing... it's hard and I'm still learning it. I hope it all makes sense and can help others who are struggling.
> 
> I've been trying to get this story done before Klaine Advent, but obviously that's not going to happen. I've got about three additional chapters outlined for this, but there might be a few more depending on how a few scenes play out. I hope you enjoy the new chapter and stick with me - life's curveball has been thrown and my free time for writing will be cut by at least 50% starting in December, plus I'm going to attempt the Advent again, so bear with me?
> 
> Reviews are everything!


	16. Chapter 16

  **2015**

Kurt jolted up, unsure what had awoken him. He looked around blearily, Blaine still sound asleep beside him. It had been a really rough night for Blaine, his level of panic higher than it had been in a long time. He'd done everything he could think of to try and settle him, but nothing helped completely quell it. Blaine had ended up just passing out on top of him, restlessly fidgeting for a while before Kurt finally joined him in sleep.

Kurt gently rolled over so that he could grab his cell phone, tiptoeing out of the room and dialing his boss. "Hey, Stanley. I'm not going to be able to make it into the office today. My sub… we had a really rough night and I need to take care of him today."

"That sucks, Kurt. Take as long as you need."

Stanley was a Dom as well, one of the only people at Kurt's place of work who understood that the duty of a Dom was just as important if not moreso than the job itself. Each employee was given two weeks of 'personal time' (which Doms and subs could use for whatever they needed) as well as sick days and vacation days. "Thank you so much, Stanley. If all goes as planned, I should be able to be back in tomorrow."

"Like I said, take as long as you need. I can email you the outline for the spread if you have some time to take a peek."

"Thank you. I'll talk to you later." Kurt hung up and sighed, turning to look down at Blaine who Kurt was shocked to see looking back at him. "You're up," he commented.

"No… I just sleep with my eyes open," Blaine teased back. "Did you really call off work for me?" he asked, disbelief coloring his gaze.

"Of course I did, Love." Kurt carded his fingers through Blaine's hair. "We have quite a bit to talk about today."

"Right," Blaine said, face falling. "I'm guessing you won't just forget it happened?"

Kurt shook his head. "We certainly don't have to talk about it before you're ready, but it was obviously something that was important to you, otherwise you wouldn't have been so upset by it, so I don't think it should be forgotten."

Blaine sighed, picking at the comforter. "You're right. We should probably talk about it today, otherwise I think I'll lose the nerve."

"Why don't we get up, eat some breakfast, put on a pot of tea, and _then_ we'll talk about-?"

They were interrupted by a call. "Stanley?" Kurt asked after he'd answered it.

"Kurt, slight change of plans. Any way you could stop in for a moment to grab a few templates? After that, the rest of the day is yours."

"You're lucky I'm so kind." Kurt hung up and sighed. "I need to stop back into work for a little bit," he explained the Blaine, sitting himself up and stretching. "I'm going to need you to make some breakfast and brew the tea so that it's ready when I get back, okay? If it's exactly the way I prefer it, there'll be a reward in it for you."

Blaine looked intrigued, getting up as well and going over to the closet to pull out one of the outfits that Kurt had picked out for him earlier in the week. He accepted the kiss from Kurt, returning his goodbye, and went to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast.

* * *

Blaine was just putting the finishing touches on breakfast when his cell phone started ringing. He hesitated answering it when he saw it was an unknown number. He despised talking to strangers on the phone, but for whatever reason, he felt like this call might be important.

"Hello, is this Blaine Anderson?"

"Yes, and this is?"

"Memorial Gardens Hospital. Mr. Anderson, we have Kurt Hummel here in our intensive care… there was an accident."

Blaine didn't hear any more than that, phone falling from his hands and crashing to the floor.

* * *

"Mr. Anderson, Mr. Hummel made you his medical proxy in cases of emergency. I'm going to need you to answer some questions about his previous medical history."

It was as if he was hearing her voice from a long distance away. He couldn't drag his eyes away from the body on the hospital bed. He looked so broken and fragile; the image didn't sit right with Blaine. His Dom, his _Kurt_ was the strongest person he'd ever known. Fists and feet shouldn't be able to hurt him.

The doctor that he had spoken to both on the phone and at the hospital had explained that Kurt had gotten injured when he'd attempted to break up some people who were attacking a young boy down an alleyway in the city. Kurt had unfortunately gotten the brunt of the rest of the attack, which had landed him in the hospital when they attackers finally took off and the boy he'd saved called an ambulance.

Blaine felt anger bubble up in his chest. Who the hell did those men think they were – deigning to harm someone as wonderful and perfect as Kurt? And more importantly, what the hell was going through Kurt's mind when he decided to take them on? His responsibility was to protect and take care of his sub and he couldn't do that unconscious in a hospital. What the fuck was Blaine supposed to do when the panic became too much to handle?

He hated Kurt in this moment almost as much as he loved him.

"Mr. Anderson?"

Blaine jumped slightly. "Sorry. Did you ask me something?" Blaine's hand unconsciously stroked the collar around his neck, thankful that he had something tangible to remind him of his contract with Kurt.

The nurse smiled sympathetically at him. "I know this must be a difficult situation for you, but I'm going to need your help if we're going to help Kurt have his best chance for recovery. Before we get started, would you like me to get one of our resident Doms? Or is there someone you can call?"

Blaine shook his head. "My Dom's right here. I don't need anyone else."

The nurse smiled sympathetically. "Okay, then. Are you able to help answer some questions?"

The threads of the command in her voice were enough to soothe the panic starting to creep up in Blaine. "I can- I can do that," Blaine responded, stroking his collar once more and glancing down at Kurt's resting body. "I need him," Blaine whispered, more to himself than to the nurse.

The nurse pulled the chart from the end of Kurt's bed and scanned it for a moment. "We've placed him into a medically induced coma so that his body can heal properly. That does mean, however, that we won't know the state of the head trauma until he awakens."

Blaine bit his lip, nodding as tears pooled along his lower lids. "But he will wake up, right?" He took Kurt's right hand in his and stroked it softly.

The nurse frowned. "I wish I could guarantee that, but it's not for certain. The doctor is hopeful for a full recovery, though."

A few tears rolled down Blaine's cheeks. "How long is all this supposed to take?"

"Kurt shouldn't need more than a few days. If all goes to plan, we'll reverse the coma on Saturday and we'll know more at that point."

Blaine nodded once more. He and Kurt hadn't gone more than a day without engaging in a scene, even one as simple as Kurt directing Blaine on how to prepare a meal or clean their apartment.

Blaine sighed. The most important thing right now was Kurt's recovery. He couldn't be selfish and only think of himself. He vowed to be there for Kurt no matter the circumstances, regardless of if Kurt would or could return the favor. He had to trust that Kurt would do the same. That was the whole basis of their relationship. They took care of each other without a thought about themselves; the give lead to take in equal measures. They didn't need anything but each other.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Blaine asked, unable to pull his gaze from Kurt. "Can he hear me?"

"No one knows for sure. It couldn't hurt. I've seen patient's vitals improve more when family and friends are present than if they're not. Knowing you're here could make him fight harder… get stronger." She placed her hand on Blaine's shoulder and squeezed. "I need to ask you a few questions about his past medical care."

Blaine sniffled, wiping his nose delicately on the handkerchief he kept in his pocket and proceeded to answer her questions as best he was able.

Finally, she left the room and he was alone with Kurt. Blaine waited ten seconds to make sure she wouldn't come back before he gave in and let a single, pathetic sob out. He carefully maneuvered Kurt's limbs so that there was a small space next to him on the bed. After removing his own shoes and jacket, he gently sat down on the bed and laid himself down so that he was side by side with Kurt.

Once he was certain that he wasn't pressing against any of Kurt's injuries, he laid his head against Kurt's shoulder and nuzzled into his neck, resting his arm across his chest.

"I'm going to protect you… take care of you," Blaine whispered. "I promise. Nothing more is going to harm you, Sir… not while I'm around."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have the whole reason why I wanted to do a Dom/sub story - the line from "Not While I'm Around" just screamed for this interpretation and I'm relieved to finally make it come to light.
> 
> Rereading this, it comes off short/choppy, but no matter how I try to fix it, it seems to work best like this. I wanted to get this out so we could move on to the final two(ish) chapters, but I hope you still enjoyed it.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the second to last chapter of the series (unless some other random story idea comes up)

 

Three weeks… it had been three weeks since Kurt had gotten attacked and there was only a slight improvement according to the doctors.

"Downward dog," the instructor called out and Blaine was quick to acquiesce, the need to be given orders almost unbearable without a steady Dom. Elliott had offered to take him on for a short while (Blaine couldn't bear using a friend as a surrogate Dom), and then he attempted to find available Doms from the local chapter house, but none of them panned out. Blaine either started panicking when the Dom would give him an order, or he'd get partway through a scene and something just didn't fit right and he'd call it off.

Yoga classes, and other activities that involved commands really, seemed to take the edge off Blaine's need. He maneuvered his body into each position the instructor called out, allowing himself to drift a little more each time.

"Okay, everyone! Let's cool down. Please go into whatever pose you prefer, child's pose, corpse pose, or legs up the wall. Raise your hand if you'd like an essential oil cooling cloth."

Blaine sidled over to the wall and raised his legs up it, closing his eyes and letting the left over stress drain off him, going back over all the commands the instructor had given, his body drifting deeper and deeper.

…

…

…

"Blaine? Blaine!"

Blaine's eyes fluttered open, registering that his body was being shaken by someone.

"Blaine, I need you to come back, okay?" the voice commanding him was unfamiliar, but he obeyed all the same. It took him a few more moments to fully rouse, the face above him one he didn't recognize. "Blaine, you have to wake up."

Blaine's body was quick to obey, even if he was determined not to be a sub to someone else, especially one had hadn't made an agreement with. "No," Blaine said, focusing his mind so that he didn't give in to the commands. "I won't."

"I'm not trying to Dom you, Blaine. I was just trying to bring you back from the subspace. You can't stay like this, Blaine." The man above him said. "Think about what your Dom would want."

Blaine let himself focus on Kurt, on what he did when he was rousing him from subspace and he felt relief flood through him, the image of his Dom's smiling, proud face floating through his mind.

"There we go," the man said. He had a bag next to him and pulled out a bag of Hershey kisses. "I'm not sure what your Dom does, but my sub really like these after a scene." He handed them to Blaine and popped open a water bottle.

Blaine gratefully accepted both and took a swig of the water before popping a kiss into his mouth. "Thank you," he said, taking a deep breath as the last remnants of subspace filtered away.

If Kurt was still in his coma for much longer, Blaine didn't know what he was going to do. Maybe he would have to accept Elliott request for help.

* * *

Two months… two months without his Dom. Blaine felt lost most of the time, drifting from place to place, all of his desires gone with the loss of his Dom. He thought he'd gotten better, but he realized that his life still revolved completely around someone else. As a sub, that was more acceptable than 'normal relationships', but he still felt like a child as he floundered day after day.

He was a mess.

His brain was working a mile a minute as Blaine walked home from work, all the deadlines and assignments crashing into him until he couldn't see the light ahead of him. He jumped when his body rammed into someone. He looked up, gasping when he realized that he'd wandered downtown into a large group of people. He was surrounded on all sides by hundreds of people.

" _Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_ ," Blaine chanted, heart beating so hard in his chest that he could swear that his chest was bulging out over top of where his heart rested. _Is this what a heart attack feels like?_

Blaine kept backing away, hoping that getting himself out of the crowd might make the panic attack dissipate, but all he accomplished was opening his view to just how many people there were surrounding him, and the more he panicked, the more desperate noises escaped his mouth. People were starting to stare.

Normally the collar Kurt had given him was a source of comfort, but today, with the claustrophobia kicking in, it was causing the sensation of strangulation. Blaine pawed at it, desperate, icy fingers unable to undo it.

Blaine's shaky legs collapsed under him, his back slamming into the wall behind him and sliding down painfully. He could feel the material of his shirt rip, certain the harsh brick material was ripping into the tender skin on his back.

" _Oh god,_ " Blaine wailed, wrapping his arms around his stomach and curling into his self, cries turning to sobs so quickly that he completely lost the ability to breathe. _Just let me die_ , Blaine prayed. _I'm sorry, Sir. I can't do it alone anymore._

His vision darkened, eyes open but all he could see was blackness. He was blind, his lungs were burning with suffocation, and his heart was beating so hard that he wasn't even sure if it actually was beating anymore, limbs so cold that he couldn't feel them anymore.

* * *

The next thing Blaine knew, he was waking up on what he realized was a hospital bed. His body was insanely heavy; when he attempted to move his arms, he could barely lift them. His brain was too foggy to comprehend exactly how he ended up here.

Over time, he started noticing random things: the beating of a heart monitor, the pulse ox on his right pointer finger, the nasal cannula pumping oxygen steadily into his nostrils, an IV in his left elbow, and a blanket tucked in around his torso.

The weight of the blanket was the right amount of restraint for Blaine as he struggled to figure out the events that had led him here. The last thing he remembered was getting stuck in a large group of people downtown and then, boom, he was here.

Panic slowly started taking him over, the beep of the heart monitor starting to speed up which made his anxiety ramp up as well.

"Blaine?" Despite having not heard the voice in weeks and it being raspy as hell, Blaine would recognize it anywhere. "Darling Boy, are you awake?"

Blaine's head whipped around and his eyes landed on Kurt who was lying in a nearby hospital bed, awake. "Sir!" Blaine cried, a relief so powerful washing over them that he started to sob.

"Oh, Sweetheart," Kurt cried, finger jabbing at a machine at his side. "It's okay, now. We're okay."

A nurse came jogging in. "What happened?"

"He's going to be okay if you can just help me over to him." Even with the rough quality of his voice, the dominance dripped off it. The nurse unlocked the brake on Kurt's bed and quickly wheeled him over. She lowered the bars on both beds so that there wasn't anything separating them. Kurt reached out and gripped Blaine's hand. "Sweetheart, you don't have to worry anymore. I'm here to take care of you."

Blaine's entire body was shaking with sobs, beyond ecstatic and still shocked that his Dom was finally awake and seemed no worse for wear. "I th-thought you were n-never coming b-back," Blaine sobbed, body shaking so hard that the metal bars on his bed were rattling.

"I'm so sorry, Love. I'm here now and I promise I'm going to do everything to never leave you alone again."

Blaine sobbed for a few more minutes, letting all the pent up fear and anger from the last two month get processed. As he started to calm down, Blaine looked at the small space between them. "Sir, can I…"

"Of course. I think we'll both feel better if I can hold you." Kurt moved over slightly so that Blaine could slide over onto Kurt's bed, thankful that his cords and wires reached that far. HE curled up into him. "I love you, Darling Boy."

"Love you, too," Blaine whispered back, clutching his Dom tighter and relaxing into him.

"The doctor told me I was out for two months," Kurt said, stroking his hand through his hair. "My Beautiful, Darling Boy you must have been scared." He pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm so proud of you for taking care of yourself for so long. You're so much stronger than I think you realize."

Blaine shook his head, tears pooling in his eyes. "I'm not, though. I couldn't _breathe_ without you."

"Oh, Sweetheart. There's nothing wrong with that. We never planned on something like this. I should have had something in place for you, someone to take care of you. It's my fault."

"If I weren't such a child, you wouldn't have had to."

"Hey, don't say that," Kurt said, command in his tone. He tilted up Blaine's face, making sure he was looking at him before continuing. "You are perfect just the way you are. No one should have to go through something like this alone."

Blaine sniffled and laid his head back on Kurt's chest. "I wanted to be good for you," Blaine said before he drifted off to sleep, content for the first time in two months.

* * *

Kurt was discharged from the hospital a few days later, the doctor clearing him of all brain related issues. Even after being in a coma for so long, his brain function seemed back to normal. He was unable to walk, several pins in his left leg and his right arm had a shattered ulna. It was going to take a while for both of those to heal enough for him to move without a wheelchair.

It made their relationship complicated. Kurt's body was still bruised and broken, so he wasn't interested in having Blaine pleasure him until he healed back up. Blaine made do by giving Kurt a foot massage every night, followed by a gentler make out session than they were used to: feather-light and fleeting.

They'd had to create a temporary new contract. "There aren't going to be any punishments," Kurt explained, "because you can't anticipate my needs and I can't perform the punishments anyway. I'm going to need you to take care of pretty much everything for the time being and that's too much to hold you to. You are allowed to make mistakes with no consequences. I'm never going to get mad, okay?"

Blaine nodded, but he could feel anxiety pooling in his belly. "Can you be more detailed in your commands? Can you… I think I'm going to need you to plan everything for a while. I don't… I get exhausted whenever I think of all the decisions I have to make."

Kurt nodded, making a note that he would be picking out all of Blaine's outfits, their menu, and their routine for every day. "As soon as you need something, you tell me, okay? As soon as you start feeling anxious, you let me know. In return, I'll tell you when I need you to take care of me." Kurt sighed, setting down the pen. "I'm sorry I can't be more for you right now."

"All I need to be happy is to see you awake and here with me."

Blaine didn't want to talk about the time while Kurt was under, too embarrassed at how poorly he'd reacted and Kurt agreed to put it off until Blaine was ready. One night, as they were sitting in front of their window drinking coffee, Blaine told Kurt was ready.

"Can I start?" Kurt asked. Blaine nodded, thankful that he wouldn't have to think of something to say. "Thank you for taking care of me. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to take care of you."

"It's not your fault."

"It was, though. It was stupid of me to think I'd always be able to be there for you. I was too prideful; I didn't want anyone else to be your Dom, even if you desperately needed one."

"But I didn't want one. I only want you."

"But you can't do this alone, Blaine. It's not how you're made up. I'm determined not to let anything like this happen again, but we're going to make a plan for if it does. I'm not going to leave you completely alone again."

"I tried using another Dom," Blaine admitted quietly. He almost didn't mention it, afraid he'd make Kurt angry. "I couldn't do it, though," Blaine finished, looking at Kurt finally to see his reaction. " _You're_ my Dom."

Kurt's face fell. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd taken on another Dom. I feel bad, though."

"Why?"

"It feels wrong that I'm happy you didn't let someone else Dom you. I like that I've been the only one to be that to you." Kurt kissed him then, sighing into his mouth. "I don't know if my heart could have handled you submitting to someone else, not when you're mine in every way."

"I won't, ever."

Kurt smiled sadly. "But you may have to. You were really bad when you got to the hospital. You were deathly pale and your pulse was so weak. I thought I was watching you die," Kurt admitted, tears pricking the corner of his eyes. "I couldn't bare it. They had to hold me down to keep me from you."

Blaine felt the corners of his mouth twitch. "Really?"

Kurt nodded. "I got quite the talking to… and you know how I feel about that." Blaine laughed, cuddling into Kurt, apologizing when Kurt hissed as Blaine bumped into the cast on his arm.

It took a little while, but gradually they fell back into a normal pattern, Kurt's injuries healing more and more each day, until finally Kurt announced that it was time to change their contract back to normal.

Blaine hoped Kurt would have forgotten about their conversation from before Kurt had gotten injured, but as they were adjusting some of their limits and wants, Kurt licked his lips and looked up at Blaine. "Are you ready to talk about adjusting what we want to do during our sex scenes?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot in this story that I'm actually not terribly knowledgeable about, but one thing that I had to actually research was comas. According to the internet, you can come back from a medically induced coma for approximately 2 months.
> 
> Also according to the internet, fractured ulnas can take 3-6 months to heal (I thought it was like other broken bones which only take 4-6 weeks).
> 
> Sorry for the abrupt ending. I feel like this discussion should take place separately and I also didn't want to make you wait for me to be able to write the conversation. I'm not sure when I'll get the last chapter up. I'm having trouble getting their conversation about hard limits out, so I apologize in advance if it's not out until the new year (plus the Advent Calendar taking up some time too). Thank you to every who has stuck with me on this.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come full circle, everyone!

 

His favorite position would seem uncomfortable to others. He would drop to his stomach on their living room carpet, face resting on his left cheek, eyes trained on the blank white wall ahead of his vision. He'd twist his arms around his back and clasp his opposite wrists in his palms, letting them fall onto his lower back. His legs, he'd stretch out at hip width apart, pointing his toes so that his calves could just start to feel the burn. He'd dig his cheek deeper into the carpet so that he could feel the individual tufts catch and pull at his skin. He'd force his breaths to pull from his stomach and not his chest so that his body was pressing up against his arms, constricting it and making him very aware of each one.

Despite all this, he'd be relaxed, far more than he'd be in bed or on the couch. In this position, all he could focus on was his body – not his worries or fears or anything else that brought up the panic he was so desperate to be rid of.

Kurt had chosen this position for Blaine not only for relaxation, but also because it forced him to be aware. It was much too easy to drift away if he lost focus.

Each part of his body was on high alert, either from the strain of his muscles or the sensations against his skin. Each breath was a conscious effort, having to pull air through his lips into his lungs, holding the breath for a moment before slowly letting it out. Kurt didn't like to see his back rise and fall more than was necessary, so Blaine had to control how quickly the air entered and exit his lungs.

Kurt never had a set time line for this, Blaine's every move entirely of his own bidding.

Blaine's bladder was one of the newest sensations Blaine noticed, that heavy feeling starting to settle into his abdomen as Blaine's weight pressed it down into the floor. One of the things stated on their contract was that Blaine could pause or delay a scene at any time for bathroom issues without it being considered safe wording, because they would return to the scene after he was done. Neither Kurt nor Blaine were interested in water sports, so they'd been very explicit about that.

Knowing this fact, Blaine was aware he could request a pause so that he could relieve himself, but he was feeling relaxed for the first time all day and he didn't want to leave the subspace that he'd been happily floating in for the last who knows how long.

He allowed his brain to focus a little more so that he could make the best decision (something he started being able to be comfortable doing after a year of Kurt's tutelage). He hadn't drank much prior to entering subspace, so he was pretty sure he could last a little bit longer before he'd need to get up.

He dug his cheek back into the carpet, squeezing his eyes closed and taking in as large a breath he could, back pressing against his clenched arms. He felt Kurt's hand press against Blaine's back, a small tut coming from his Dom's lips. "Smaller," he coached. "I don't want to see your arms moving."

Kurt decided early on that Blaine wouldn't respond during these scenes unless Kurt specifically requested it, or if Blaine was safe wording or pausing the scene. Unless Kurt asked "okay?" or for some other form of acknowledgement, he didn't want Blaine to respond non-verbally either.

A new sensation entered Blaine's awareness, a slight weight on his left ring finger. Blaine couldn't help but break one of the rules, a smile rising to his mouth when he remembered their wedding. It had been a small affair, close friends and family watching as they committed to each other in a more socially recognizable way than their contract as Dom and sub. They may have already had a signed contract, but now they had a signed marriage license that gave them that last bit of commitment to each other. Kurt was his Dom, but he was also his husband, and he loved him more than anything else.

Kurt must have noticed his smile. "I'll indulge your happiness for another moment, but then I'm going to have to punish you, Sweet Boy. You know that you're not to let any emotions in. You wanted this blank space, remember?"

Blaine's smile fell, nodding once, abrading his cheek on the carpet. It didn't take the happiness away, far from it. It gave him a satisfied feeling to know that his Dom was paying attention to him, catching all the little things in his body and mind and keeping him on track in a way that he desperately needed. He barely held back a shudder as the idea of Kurt's punishment echoed through his mind.

There were a wide variety of punishments that Kurt and Blaine had agreed would be appropriate for their commitment, some vicious, some more tame, and some of a more sweet nature. No matter what, Kurt would never let his anger dictate his punishments. He refused to hurt his sub and they'd focused a large part of their contract around Blaine's pain-related hard limits. Punishing Blaine with physical actions like spanking and whipping and any other manner that many Dom's used were off limits for them. Instead, Kurt used denial as the main punishment.

Most of the time it was denying him access to his body. Blaine loved giving Kurt pleasure more than many other things in this world. Even the simple pleasure of cooking him a meal and getting to see him enjoy it was enough to make Blaine's day perfect. So, sometimes Kurt would send Blaine to their room and make his own meal, making loud pleasure filled noises out of view just to rub in the fact that Kurt was getting his pleasure from some place other than Blaine. Other times he'd touch himself just out of Blaine's reach, requiring him to watch as he pleasured himself. One important part of the punishment is that Kurt still would give Blaine orders. Completely ignoring his sub would just lead to panic attacks and that wasn't the point of all of this.

"We're done," Kurt said, tapping Blaine's leg with his foot, indicating that he wanted Blaine to stand. He took his time getting up, coaxing feeling back into his limbs. "Make me a bath," Kurt commanded when Blaine was up.

He got to work immediately. He took a quick moment to relieve himself while the bath was filling, content in the knowledge that, even if Kurt came in and discovered him neglecting the bath, it would be acceptable as part of their contract.

When the bath was ready, Blaine got down to his knees, waiting for his Dom to come and evaluate what he'd done. After an unknowable amount of time, Kurt entered the bathroom. "Look at me," he said, urging Blaine to raise his head to watch him. Kurt began stripping off his clothes achingly slow, a smirk on his face as he watched Blaine watching him. He walked over to the bath, looking down at it but making no move to enter it. Blaine knelt anxiously to the side, hands clasped behind his back, knees bent against the rug, waiting for Kurt to get in and acknowledge Blaine's good job. Instead, Kurt reached into the bath and pulled the plug, watching the water drain away.

Blaine let out a small whimper, pressing his lips together when Kurt's head whipped up to look at him. He thankfully didn't acknowledge Blaine's little outburst. "I'm going to take a shower. Go get ready for bed."

Blaine was about to argue, but he knew it would just earn him Kurt's disappointment. Obviously this was Kurt's punishment for him, making him perform acts that he'd just ignore and do on his own. He wasn't going to give Blaine any approval tonight. He probably wouldn't even let him touch him after the shower.

Blaine nodded, whispering a quiet "yes, Sir," before standing up carefully and going to their bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers and prepared the bed, fluffing up Kurt's pillows for him and pulling the blankets halfway down just like Kurt had instructed him. Maybe Kurt would consider the punishment over and he'd give him that appreciative smile that he always did when he was proud of what Blaine had done. More likely, he'd just ignore him.

Blaine was just patting down the blanket when he heard the shower shut off. He got down to his knees on the pillow on the floor near Kurt's side of the bed, dropping his head and clasping his hands behind his back. He listened as Kurt's soft footfalls came from down the hallway, not stopping as he turned into the bedroom. Kurt didn't say anything in response to what Blaine had done, not even acknowledging Blaine as he pulled on his pajamas and slid into bed.

Blaine, slightly confused, stayed kneeling, head bowed and desperately trying to figure out what he was supposed to do next. Was he supposed to get up and join Kurt in bed or was he supposed to stay kneeling until Kurt said something?

He heard Kurt sigh, hand going into Blaine's hair and scratching his scalp. He felt more than heard Kurt slide off the bed, pulling Blaine into his embrace and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "It's over, my Love. You were so good for me."

Blaine let himself bask in Kurt's approval, his love, and his support. "Thank you, Sir."

"You know I hate having to do this to you, but you have to learn how to follow what few rules I give you."

"I know. Thank you."

He felt Kurt smile against his forehead. "Into bed with you, my Beautiful Husband. You did so good today. If you want, you're welcome to do what you like until I fall asleep."

Blaine perked up at that, anxious to show his love for Kurt in whatever way he could, maybe get him off before he drifted off. He followed Kurt into bed, taking his time stripping Kurt of his pajamas, button by button until the skin of his chest was on display. He leisurely licked a path down Kurt's chest, stroking along his hip bones before nipping a few times, carefully not to leave a bruise. He smiled when Kurt's hips bucked up a little, reaching down with his hand to stroke along his cock.

"Tell me what you want?" Blaine asked, squeezing at the base of Kurt's cock and circling his tongue around Kurt's nipple.

"You," Kurt breathed out. "Inside me."

That was new to their relationship. After Kurt had recovered from his injuries, they'd had a long embarrassing talk about what changes Blaine desired in their sexual relationship, the biggest thing being that Blaine wanted to try fingering Kurt. He came to like that a lot, and over time they moved on to Blaine actually fucking Kurt. It had gone poorly the first few times, but Blaine was determined to give it a try and Kurt was open to whatever his sub wanted. Blaine still didn't get as much pleasure out of it as he had hoped, but seeing what it did to Kurt made Blaine so hard that he thought he'd die. Together, they learned what they both liked and it became a special thing they'd do when they wanted a reward.

Blaine practically ripped off his pants, digging into their bedside drawer for lube and getting started. One finger circling Kurt's rim turned to two scissoring him open, to three stretching him enough to accommodate Blaine's girth. All the while, Blaine licked and kissed up and down Kurt's body, the noises Kurt was making helping Blaine get hard himself. After slipping on a condom and lubing himself up, Blaine was finally inside, rocking so agonizingly slow that Kurt let out pitiful screams, fingers clawing at Blaine's ass to try and urge him faster.

Just before Kurt could demand Blaine move quicker, Blaine started pistoning his hips double time, twisting his fist along Kurt's cock until he was coming all over his hand. As Kurt rode out his orgasm, Blaine pulled out, whipping off the condom and fisting himself to completion.

"I love you," Blaine breathed against Kurt's chest, taking lungfuls of air and trying to stop his racing heart.

"I love you too, Darling Boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end. I hope you all enjoyed this story and I hope it was worth the wait. I am thankful for each and every reader and reviewer - you helped me get this story out that I'd wanted to write for a long time.


End file.
